Superman Tonight
by gfiction81
Summary: Edward is a a film star on a rest,so disenchanted with his life as Anthony Masen escaping from Carlisle's shadow, he meets Bella and her 2 children one of which is deaf. She is struggling with so much,he wants her,needs her but will he get her...
1. Chapter 1

**AN/ First fiction so be kind, set in the UK and if you are not old enough to vote and drink, you are not old enough to read it!**

Disclaimers apply, my story but not my characters.

Chapter 1

EPOV

God I'm so tired.

I'm supposed to be on a "R&R break" Ha ha fucking ha, rest and relax my ass, no such God damned thing.

I look at my iphone that just wont ever shut up, it's Emily again, she's a great publicist but for the love of Christ I wish I could have just one moment when I'm not expected to be Mr Nice and perform like a bloody seal. I answer with a bored sigh, maybe she'll get the hint

"Yes Emily,what now?"

"Edward don't be so snippy with me, it's not my fault. Fox want you next Tuesday to interview for their film bites."

Oh for fucks sake! " I told you the other day and last week, I'm not doing it, I'm having a break, a holiday a little "me" time to remember who the hell I am, and where I'm going to live. No interviews, no interruptions of any kind for 6mths, that was the deal."

I pinch my nose bridge, I'm really trying not to yell at her again, Jake gives me a glare and a sideways look to Sam, my driver. I know how hard this is on him, she's his wife of 3years and they both take really good care of me, Sam drives and watches my miserable backside and Emily flashes it around, (well my face and Oscar nominated talent I'm still not convinced it's not just a pretty face that Hollywood love), not just my ass . 6 years of filming without a break, well a real one, 1 and a half to make it and the other 4 and a half trying to keep up when I did make it.

It would have been so much easier to use my real name and claim off my Uncle Carlisle, but it would have felt fake, I wanted to be me, not the Nephew of The Carlisle Cullen,

nope I was plain Anthony Masen, but for those who knew the real me Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, yes I know it's a mouthful but it's just tough! Carlisle and Esme had adopted me when I was 2, after Esme's Brother Edward Snr. and his Wife Elizabeth were killed in a car crash.

I survived purely because their car had a new child car seat, the car was smashed into head on and flipped several times, I was found still strapped in, in the upside down car in a ravine, broken arm and collarbone and many cuts but alive, sadly the same could not be said for my parents, Dad was killed outright, massive chest injuries and broken neck, my Mum survived the trip to the hospital and spent 4 days on life support but her head injuries meant she was brain dead, as next of kin the hospital had to wait for Esme to come and decide what to do, Mum was gone and with her my baby Sister, at just 23weeks gestation she couldn't have survived.

Gone. All gone in just a few split seconds a family destroyed by another's careless drunken mistake, the man driving the other car was a little battered and had a broken leg but was so drunk at the time he was just laughing, he got 15 years, is it long enough? Not for me, nothing will ever replace my parents and lost Sister.

So here I am 28 years old rich beyond my wildest imagination, but empty. I live in hotels and from film trailer to film trailer, I'm surrounded by body guards and believe me I need them, my fans can be very crazy. One once jumped me in the men's toilets at a restaurant, 18 stitches and a concussion later I learnt I can't go anywhere alone in public places, how sad boo hoo I hear you say, well imagine not even being able to take a crap in private, see how you feel then.

Calming down I let out a big breath,

" I'm sorry Emily, I know it's not your fault, please tell them I will do a couple of phone radio interviews and 3 filmed interviews, but I'm not going to the States until February, and that's final, I've been gone 3days and that's the only offer they get,"

Jake is still glaring at me, what the fuck for now? I roll my eyes at him and huff back into the seats, " Is there anything else you want to know?" I can hear Emily slamming stuff around, shit.

Her voice comes back and she's really pissed, " No Mr Masen, please enjoy your little break while us other poor bastards do the other boring mundane stuff for you" yep seriously pissed " miserable fucker" I hear muttered "Please don't trouble yourself, I will sort it all out, that is what you pay me for isn't it"

Oh shit now Sam's giving me the eye, I'm in big trouble, he pulls over the car and Audi Q7 (built like a brick shit house,)

" Emily I'm really sorry I spoke to you like that" well a man has got to start somewhere, begging " Please forgive me, I know how hard you work for me, please just tell them and then why don't you have a little holiday too, how a bout I fly you over here, spend some time with Sam." I hear her huff and sit down,Sam is giving me the stink eye, pulling that holiday crap is not going down well it would appear.

" Fine Edward, I will let them know, I will book my flights, where exactly are you anyway?" Ok, "We are in the South of the Country, Sussex I think, get the flight to Heathrow then I will send Sam to come get you, is 3 weeks enough for now?"

Sam is starting to motion for the phone, I may be a dead man in a minute,will Jake save me? Mm still scowling, perhaps not then.

" Pass me to Sam please Edward, I'm assuming he stopped the car?" Damn how did she know that, I pass the phone to Sam, he all but snatches it from me. " you are a real wanker you know that don't you?"

Nodding my head with shame I settle back against the soft leather seats, " Prat " Jake mumbles at me, yes I think I deserved that, I pretend I don't hear him, Sam is talking softly to Emily now,

" I love you darling, I know, I 'll see you soon, bye love." He tosses the phone back to me, it lands right on the bridge of my nose .

" Fuck! That shit hurts!"

I feel my nose is on fire and Jake the fucker is giggling next to me, " You big baby, stop being a girl, and be grateful he didn't shoot your sorry ass for speaking to his damn Wife like a piece of shit, I've still got a mind to smack you around a little,"

Argh,it really stings,I hold on to it wincing as I gingerly put my phone away, Jake and Sam are still sniggering, I lean back and think about my phone call with my Mum(Esme).

" Edward... are you listening to me? It's got to stop, you're so burnt out you don't seem to know what the hell you're doing any more, Dad said you stormed out of your meeting yesterday,Emily couldn't get hold of you and Jake even rang he was so worried for you,thank God for GPS, what the bloody hell were you thinking! It's enough, do you hear, enough! Dad is speaking to the studios this afternoon and Emily has booked you all on the first flight to London tomorrow night, there will be no arguments are you getting all this young man, I will not lose you again..."

Christ she was sobbing by that point, I'm such a selfish prick, she was right of course, Dad too warned me 5 months ago, so here I am in South England shut up in a car with 2 of my guards and a really fucking sore nose and not to mention the damn phone.

Alice my little Sister, well little to me at 24 sent me to this hotel in the Downs, its so isolated and quiet and above all private, a week or longer if I want it to just calm the fuck down and start thinking properly, I want a life. A real one with a wife and kids not fake women with plastic oozing everywhere and no personality, all they are interested in is the size of my wallet and dick too. What a mess, Tanya Denali, my nuts shrink back up inside just thinking of her,what was I thinking, well I clearly wasn't and that shit stops now as Mum said.

We arrive at the hotel drive,its really long, " Are you sure it's down here Sam? It looks like a farm drive, look there's cows over there."

Sam just gives me a look in the mirror, it would appear I'm still not popular, Jake snorts and tries to cover it with a cough, I roll my eyes at them both,

" Funny fuckers aren't you, I haven't seen a real cow for years, I didn't expect them on a hotel driveway, go ahead laugh it up..." Oh it really is a hotel, it's beautiful, a big pond and lawn, a few buildings too, and what a view, hills a green fields as far as the eye can see.

" We're here Edward, Sam will go and sort the check in and check security measures have been put in place, we will wait here until it's clear " I sigh " It's all good " Sam leaves the car and heads up the path, Jake is just staring at me, waiting... " Yes? "

"What's the plan then? "

I'm confused, " We are staying here aren't we?.. "

" Yes Edward, I meant what's the plan with Sam, who's going to replace him after you just gave him 3 weeks holiday with no damn thought in your brain, you need 2 guards at all times "

I felt my self getting irritated with him, " I'm not a baby, who's going to attack me Cows?

Demented flying pigeons? I can see the headlines now " Masen, bombed by flying shit, and slime'd to death by mad cows " Jake just scowls at me and gets his phone out, I hear his ear piece talking, as my door is opening Sam is standing there with a small blond man.

" Good afternoon Mr Masen,it's a real honour to have you staying with us "he is giving me a little bow too, what the fuck?

" Um thanks " I offer him my hand, his is really wet and sweaty, ugh, I feel dirty, I need to wipe that shit off, Sam's eyes are zeroed on the back of his head

" Its a beautiful place here, really quiet, Mr ..."

He stutters and takes his hand back " Oh I'm so sorry, Its Michael Newton please just call me Mike, what can I offer you Mr Masen? Tour around the grounds, we have 12 acres you know, just tell your man to leave the luggage on the front porch, I will arrange someone to take it up to your room and unpack for you, If you just follow me..."

What?

"Um Mr Newton, my guards Mr Black and Mr Uley will handle all the bags, if you can just take us to our rooms please, it's been a long day "

Sycophantic dick, there is no way his hell hotel staff are touching my stuff, that's how that shit gets on ebay, ooh pay $85 for Masens socks $300 for my pants, no thanks been there and learnt that lesson.

" Oh, of course, Mr Masen sir,"

Fantastic, Sir, way to go Edward, now I feel like a real ass.

" Just this way sir," we walk through a drawbridge gateway and into the big doorway, it's a castle,amazing. The concierge at the desk is gaping at me and blushing a little " Thank you Jessica, that will do. " Mm not very polite Mike, she's quite pretty actually, blond and a nice rack from what I can see, mm, not bad at all... I walk over to her and take her hand, she too is sweating, what is it with people here

" Pleasure to meet you Jessica " I kiss her hand, she squirms and Mike is well, I'd say he was growling, Sam and Jake step up to my sides.

" Mr Masen this is Jessica Lang my fiancée. " well fuck me, I'd be growling too if my girl was squirming at another guy, but he was quite rude to her, she could do better I'm sure, I start to lean in to give her a friendly peck on the cheek as Jake catches my eye and shakes his head slightly, I sigh, spoiling my fun again. Jessica looks at me from under her lashes and says in a breathy voice , " Mr Masen please don't hesitate to let me know if there's anything I can do for you..."

Say what now? With her fiancée just a foot away and she's offering _anything_, mm " Why thank you Ms Lang, I'll be sure to let you know if there is anything, it was great meeting you." I turn to Mike and Jake Mike is looking a little pale around the gills, perhaps Jessica is not really the one for him after all.

" This way Sir " he is still simpering at me " I have put you in the Norfolk suite, and your men in the March suite, I hope you will find everything to your satisfaction, please just ring down if you should require something not immediately available, may I just say thank you for you gracious patronage, I will leave you now."

He leaves practically bowing from the room, I see Sam and Jake holding in their laughs, I too am smirking ass kissing ass hole.

As I turn around laugh guffaws erupt from the boys.

" Ha hahahahaha Oh I'm going to pee my pants in a minute or die, what a dick yes sir no sir may I suck your dick sir..." Sam is crying with laughter

" Laugh it up boys, we are staying here for 7 days, do you think I can just never leave the room, I don't think I can put up with Mike and his kowtowing "

Sam creases up even more " YOU have 7 days I'm going to get my precious tomorrow, I wont have to hear that again, ha-ha,what you going to do Cullen? Oh I think Garrett should come down, he would love it, I can see him now, threatening to cut a bitch and waving his gun around," he crawls off to a door I assume is a bathroom.

Jake is now a little more sobered up " You wont mess with that blond bint downstairs will you? That's just the sort of thing we're trying to get away from, she's got her guy Ed, don't mess with it, Big C would have my guts you know,..."

I throw myself on to the bed, four poster would you believe, I think it's as old as the castle, the mattress is a little soggy for my taste, " No, she's trouble, but a little flirty fun never hurt anyone Jake, you don't have to tell my Dad... so are you going to call Garrett? I really don't want to upset Sam any more than I have managed to already this week, we have got a little bit of travelling to do next week, but at the moment I'm not moving for at least 3 days, can you sort it for him or Paul?"

I would prefer Garrett, I've known him for so long and he helped me with the Tanya mess, Jake settles in the chair across from me and gets his phone out, " Hey G, can you get down to Sussex ASAP? Yeah... Ed has fucked up with Sam and Emily... ain't that the truth...cool man, its the Dukes Castle Hotel, Downsford,ok I'll send the chopper up for you, yeah good...ok .. see ya." He threw the phone away from him,I duck instinctively, my nose is still hurting.

" Well?" " Yeah he'll be here in 24hrs, I'll send the hotel chopper for him its quicker,he's in Wales visiting family, oh by the way you owe him double rate for the week for inconvenience, !" He chuckles over that last statement, I'd pay him triple, hell I'd pay them all more but I think Emily would pitch a fit,

" Yeah Jake that's fine, can we go for a stroll in the grounds? Its kind of suffocating in here, can you BOLO for Mick the dick? " Jake cracks a smile, " Sure Ed, I'll fetch Sam " he leaves the room, I sigh and stroll over to the windows,lead criss-crossed and wonky, really old this place, I wonder how Alice found it.

I stare across the gardens and see a small boy walking with a little girl carrying a ball, she looks very small, maybe 2? A woman comes out from behind one of the buildings and jogs over to them, she catches up to the boy and grabs them both and swings them around, they are laughing, I catch a glimpse of her face, she is just stunning, I feel all my breath seem to leave my body, and my chest gets tight and hurts to breathe, am I having a heart attack? Dad told me that shit would catch me out one day, that's what drink and dope will do to you.

She puts the boy down and holds the girl away from her face and signs something to her, oh ... poor kid that's really tough or maybe she uses that baby sign I've heard about, she really doesn't look very old, the boy runs off with his ball and she takes the little ones hand and they walk off, I hear the boys coming back in.

" All set Edward? The dick and blondie are out of sight for the moment "

" Yeah lets go" we rush outside into the foyer and into the gardens, mm, grass and what the fuck is that other smell...

" What the fuck is that smell? It's like something died out here..." Sam snorts " It's cowshit Edward, welcome to the country " Ugh, well the country side can keep it..

" What's over this side? Maybe we can get downwind of it.." I start walking briskly across the lawn, just as we reach the other side away from the smell, actually it's not so bad after a few minutes,

" Jake how old is this hotel?" He looks over to me with a frown " What am I? A walking history expert? Old as fuck and it looks like its going to fall down soon too...how the hell should I know, ask the pix, she sent you here."

Well I guess that told me then, hopefully he'll cheer up soon,or this is going to a _REALLY _ long holiday...Someone save me please...

Ok reviews please...


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers apply**

**Well I am surprised that so many people have read this so quickly! Thank you for alerts and my review, I have no idea how long this will be, it seems to present itself to me in dribs and drabs so apologies in advance if updates take a while. Now where were we...**

**Chapter 2**

**EPOV**

As we are walking a long I feel myself begin to relax, I loosen my tie and take my jacket off and pull my shirt out, that's much better, Jake is a little way in front and Sam to the side, mm still not really my friends at the moment. Well I am an ass hole and I haven't been trying very hard to be a bit nicer recently.

" Jake what do you think of this area? Would you be able to get me a local newspaper? I want to get to know it a little.." He stops and turns around sharply, and Sam is just gaping at me " What's the matter?" I'm a little surprised at their reactions

" You, _Anthony Masen_ want to get to know the area? Why? I thought you wanted rest and quiet?" Oh, I haven't told him, actually I don't think I told anyone, I'm clearly on the verge of losing it completely, I sigh and fidget a little, this is going to be hard to explain...

" Um, you remember my Mum set up the flights for us to come here? Well it wasn't because I asked her too, she insisted, well ordered me to pack up what I was doing and get on that flight because of what happened at the studios the other day, they think I'm on the verge of a breakdown..." They are both looking very uncomfortable at this, did they know? Fuck.

" Edward, we know that you Mum sent you here, but I thought it was to rest and pull yourself together a bit. What happened at the studio? You were gone for 8 hours man, why? " Sam looks concerned, his pissed off demeanour of earlier gone, my friend again, I blow out a big breath I wasn't aware I was holding in.

" Volturi studios wanted to meet with me to finalise a few added bits to the script, that new film I am doing, it turns out they totally re-hashed the plot. They made the David character much darker,he was into drugs heavily and smoking,which as you know is a problem for me " They look really uncomfortable now squirming and worrying their clothes, " The worst was the change in the female lead, because of the drugs David was now into they ...shit.."

I cant do this...I feel tears start to begin, man up Cullen...

" they had the woman abort the baby she was carrying at 18 weeks and they gave the part to Tanya! "

I'm full on sobbing, I feel the grass beneath me, did I fall? I don't know. I am vaguely aware of hands on my back and shoulders, I think I'm going to be sick...yep.. I pull myself up and run to the nearest bush and heave for what feels like forever, Sam hands me a handkerchief, I give him a grateful smile, I hate that they know, they saw, I'm so fucked up.

"Come on Ed, lets go back up to your room, you're alright, we're here for you you know, just forget about that movie, from what Big C said he's had your contract released, you don't have to do it, no one knows the real truth except us. It'll be fine you'll see.." Jake pulls me up and they both _man hug_ me, it feels kind of nice actually, just caring.

We start walking back on a different route when " Argh! Shit!" Jake falls to the floor, I look round and something hits me right in the nuts

"FUCK ME! Arghhhhh, it hurts it hurts oh my God fuck...!"

I fall the floor almost screaming, white hot pain spreads up my groin, I think my dick may be broken, I cant feel anything except pain, please someone put me out of my misery or knock me the hell out, I don't care! Sam has his gun pulled out and has a protective stance over me, I gasp to him

" Stop waving that thing around and help me for pity's sake, I'm dying here!" He looks about again and gives a small chuckle, Bastard!

" No one has ever died from a football in the nuts, upsy daisy" he pulls me to my feet, it hurts more now, " Ugh, my dick is broken I'm telling you I'll never have kids, or sex again just shoot me it's quicker, Mum wont mind too much I'm a pain in her ass anyway..."

" Shut up Cullen, get a grip of yourself "

" You're fired "

I'm wheezing now not very authoritative at all. " Yeah yeah, I'm on holiday, remember now get up you pansy assed pussy , and quit whining" Jake I notice is still on the floor, clutching his nose, ah that shit hurts don't it, I feel a little smug as they were very unfeeling about my nose earlier.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't see until it was too late to stop the ball, are you alright?"

Wow, I don't think I can breathe again, it's the woman I saw from the window, she's more stunning up close than before, she is just staring at me, I can't move, speak or breathe, such a beauty,as I look at her a flush of red is creeping up her neck and face, amazing ivory skin,pink perfect lips, deep pools of brown eyes can I sink into them please? Brown mahogany hair with red as the sun hits it, there are no words adequate to give her beauty,I'm just in awe... A throat clearing drags me out of my trance,I'm still staring it would seem, but on the plus side, my dick has magically mended itself, and is very uncomfortable...

"Um I'm fine, really don't worry about it,accident I'm sure " How very articulate of you Cullen, pompous stick up his ass prick! I want her, I need her. I can feel myself being pulled to her like a magnet, what is that?...

" Edward?"

WHAT! How the hell does she know my name? " Um excuse me? I think you have me confused with someone else."

She looks down at her feet, "Edward Cullen, Alice's big brother" Who is this woman!

"Who are you? No one knows my name, who told you, tell me now!" I scream at her, Jake and Sam just look on, completely silent mouths gaping, shit she's going to cry. I really am a bastard.

I see something blur toward me and kick me hard on the shins and I'm falling, "ARGH! Ow fucking ow! What the hell..?"

" You shouted at my Mummy, I wont let you, don't hurt my Mummy!"

Oh Jesus its the boy, I hold him off at arms length and get up towering over him at 6'1, he pulls his leg back to go again, I push him away gently just in time, the look of anger on his small young face is hard to see, I crouch down still holding him away, and quietly but firmly say

" I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to shout at your Mummy, and I would NEVER hurt her, Mummy's are very precious people. I'm Edward, and that's Jake and Sam,he's the one one with his mouth open like a fish. What's your name?"

The boy looks stunned, he mumbles quietly " Seth Charles Swan, I'm 6 and a half." He flushes red, like his Mum,his eyes are brown and he had dark blond hair with red streaks in too, cute kid, looks a little small for 6 but I don't exactly have much experience.

I let his arms go and offer him my hand, " Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and I'm 28." He giggles at me "No half?" " No, no half my birthday was in June." He is very sweet. I remember that there are other people standing here, I look up and his Mother is just staring at me, Sam and Jake are still gaping like they are catching flies.

"How did you know my name? I haven't gone by Edward for many years?" I still can't think straight, she seems a little familiar, I can't think!

" I used to know Alice, we were at Pre school together, I met you a couple of times when you were on days off from school."

She is blushing madly now, I feel a vague recollection but it was a very long time ago, I offer her my hand, as she takes it I feel a shock go up my arm, like I've been stung, it makes me feel warm all over, now that is a feeling I remember very well, she must be Alice's friend that she cried so much over when she suddenly vanished when Alice was 4.

" Oh I'm so sorry, That must be static from my uniform." She starts to pull her hand away, but I squeeze it a little tighter, I can't seem to let go, I don't want to either.

" No. This happened before, I remember meeting you with Alice, it happened then too. Do you work here?" Please work here, I have to see her again. She looks down at her feet and I follow her gaze. There is the small girl clinging to the back of her legs. She is the image of her mother, her skin is much paler and she looks very fragile and small, like a puff of wind would blow her away, she is staring at me, her eyes are blue like cornflowers, and her dark curls pulled up into bunches, beautiful.

"Hello, you're very pretty, just like your Mum." She slowly smiles at me and waves, she starts to make movements with her hands, mm, baby sign.

"This is Leah, she doesn't talk much, she is deaf." Fuck me! Poor little thing, well I feel all kinds of uncomfortable now, I look at her and she is still making frantic movements with her hands, and pointing, lots of pointing.

" She wants to speak to you Edward, you need to look her in the face, she can lip read you." She sounds nervous, why? I get down on one knee to her level, " Thank you, you're pretty too." Her speech is affected and her tone quite high pitched and nasal, but I heard her and understood her.

I smile and look straight at her and quite quietly say " Your welcome Miss Swan, you are like a swan, from pretty to beautiful when you open your mouth to speak it's like angels singing."

Her mother has a few tears in her eyes... crap.. " I'm sorry Mrs Swan I didn't mean to upset you..."

She jumps right in and wiping her face " You didn't. People don't usually bother speaking to Leah when they find out she's deaf, they assume deaf and dumb and retarded, or when she doe's speak they can't understand her.. It's Bella by the way, Ms Isabella Swan, I'm divorced."

She is wiping more tears away, I delve about in my pockets but come up empty, Jake offers her a handkerchief, _who knew he could be a gentleman!_ " Why would people do that to a child?" I feel myself getting angry, how dare people insinuate Leah is retarded, she's just a little girl who is amazing.

"She's amazing, reading lips and signing, clever beautiful little girl. How old is she?"

Bella looks at her feet again, then across the grass where Seth is playing catch with the demon football, I'm not too surprised, Seth loves kids, he and Emily are desperate for their own, but no luck so far, of course being 5000 miles or so isn't exactly conducive to baby making.

"She is 3 next month, she was born early, that's why she's quite small for her age." Bella suddenly goes very pale and wobbles, I quickly grab her elbow and Jake gets her other. Her reaction is very un-expected to say the least...

" DON'T TOUCH ME! Please don't , stop stop please..." We both let her go immediately,she falls to the ground, Sam and Seth come racing over, he goes to kick me again but I step back quickly,he gets Jake instead, kick after kick and a nut punch too, the kid is sobbing.

WHAT THE FUCK is going on?

Jake is on his knees again gasping for breath, Sam is just staring, mouth open gaping like a fish, Leah is sitting on the floor crying, Bella is on the floor gasping out sobs and Seth... he is just screaming.

That's it.

Enough.

I pick up Leah and hold her and slowly say, " I'm going to help your Mummy and Seth, can you be a big girl and hold Jake for me?" She stifles a sob and nods her head, "Good girl." I drop a light kiss on her temple. _Where did that come from?_

I give Jake a nudge with my foot, "Take Leah for me, we're going to my suite." He gets up carefully and reaches for her, she is so small and looks minute in his 6'5 frame. " Come on sweet lips, I've got you."

I grab Seth and hand him to Sam, he just nods and starts walking with Jake towards the main entrance, Bella is just lying curled up on the grass, still heaving for breath.

I get down on my knees again, not even giving my midnight blue Gucci suit a second thought, it is a heart wrenching sound coming from her lips and she just looks so lost and beaten. I want her, I have to help her.

" Come on Bella, it's Edward, I'm just going to pick you up, you can't stay out here you will get ill. I'm going to put my arm around your shoulders and under your knees, Ok? "

Nothing, just soft gasps. I make the decision, I put my left arm around her shoulders and right under her knees, I get up she is not very heavy maybe 180lbs. She starts to sob again getting and panicking in my arms

"No no no..."

"Ssh, its Edward Cullen, look feel the sting in you hands, what is that, I never knew before. I remember meeting you, Alice loved you so much, she cried for 2weeks when you went away from Pre school, you had 2 big plaits and maroon ribbon in pretty bows, and freckles and a buck tooth, you were so pretty then. And now you are just stunningly beautiful, I'm so happy to see you again. You're safe with me Bella . Like I promised Seth, I will NEVER hurt you, I can't bear the thought of someone hurting you or those amazing children. They're with Jake and Sam just up ahead, we are going to my rooms, I don't know about you but I need a drink of something..."

I'm barely coherent, just seeming to ramble at her, but she has stopped crying. I start to feel a little nauseous at the thought of her and the children being hurt, what the hell has happened to them,I feel her fist grip a fistful of my shirt and her head rest on my collarbone, I kiss her head also,_ what is happening to me?._

" Edward, please, don't leave me, don't let me go. Help me..."

" Always Bella, I'll never let you go..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimers apply.**

**Some interesting mixed reactions! Thanks to those of you who took the trouble to review, it's much appreciated. A few nasty Pms that I could do without, if anyone doesn't like my story please stop reading it, just click along to another one! Ranting over..**

**Chapter 3.**

**EPOV**

I carry Bella through the entrance way, the desk is empty again, she still has a vice grip on my shirt and is actually becoming a bit heavy to carry, but I really don't think she is capable of walking just at the moment . I take in a deep breath and pull her up a little more like Emmett taught me during training, as we get closer to my suite I can giggling.

I reach the door and it's ajar so kicking it open and shut again I go in, Seth is sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed and Leah is on Jakes' knee playing with his iphone, I hear the music for " Angry Birds" and roll my eyes, only Jake. He must be the master at that game by now closely followed by Emmett!

Seth looks up at me as I enter with his Mother, he looks pale and drawn, I gently place Bella on the bed next to him, she is no longer crying or whimpering, just a few shallow breaths, she grips me hard as I try to let her go " It's alright Bella, you're in my suite, look Seth is here, your just fine, calm down, I'm not going anywhere." I feel very inadequate, I don't know what to do...

Sam gets up and gives a little sigh, glaring at me again, what is up with that! I'm not aware of behaving like an ass hole just now. I can't help but feel the pull to Bella, it's so strange, I don't recall it being like this before, I have never felt like this before, why do feel this, .. " I'm going to make some tea Edward, I think after what just happened we could all use some " Sam is giving me a very pointed stare. Tea? " What? Tea? Where's the scotch because I really need some after that!" Sam is looking horrified at me,...damn.

"Um yes, tea and a REALLY strong coffee for me, can you see if there is any juice for the kids in the bar?" I really am stupid sometimes,first thing that sets my emotions off and drink still the first thing I think of, no wonder my Mother was so worried about me.

"Here Edward,you'd better give this to Ms Swan, I wouldn't want her to get upset again, there's no juice in here so I rang down for some."

I take Bella's tea and sit beside her, she is just gazing at nothing and intermittently stroking Seth's arm. I set the cup down and gently sit beside her, "Bella, it's me, can you sit up for me? " She stirs a little and looks at me, I feel a shiver run through me, it seems as if she is seeing into my very soul and I into hers.

Just then a knock at the door startles us both, she jumps up off the bed and is looking around hurriedly, Sam answers the door and a tall thin brunette sidles in to the room with a tray " I have the drinks you requested Sir, shall I put them on the table?" She breezes past Sam and puts the tray down, as she turns she sees me, " ARGHHHH, You're him! Oh My God it's you, oh I just love you, AHHHhhh I'm so excited! "

Please someone kill me, or better yet, kill her now before she bursts my eardrums!

" Hello, yes it's me, thank you for the drinks that will be all."

I REALLY want her to leave, I hate the screaming. I love the fans, without them I'd be nothing but God I wish they wouldn't scream, I can't hear a thing they say! Jake has put Leah down and is making his way towards us, the girl is starting to paw at me, ugh get off.

"Can I have a photo and a hug?" She doesn't wait for an answer and launches herself at me, her hands wander quite fast and before I can really grasp what happened I feel her hand grab my backside and another fondles my dick, That's it!

"Excuse me, get your hands off!" I shout at her, I feel violated, I hate it when people think it's ok to have a quick grope,ugh. Jake pulls her quite roughly away " That will do Miss, you had better leave, now!" He's seriously pissed, "Oh but I love him, just let me have another hug please..." Um no, in fact Hell NO!

"Out Miss, you're making a spectacle of yourself." Well put Jake very diplomatic of you. I roll my eyes and pinch my nose, I want quiet and peace and Bella.

"Ok, ok I'm going, what the fucking hell are you doing here?." What? Who is she talking to?

"Get the hell out and your stupid kids too, wait until Mike hears about this, you're not allowed in this part of the hotel, don't just stand there gawping move!"

Bella goes very white and Seth gets up off the bed and walks over to Leah and signs to her, they both walk quickly to their Mother and grab her hand, they move off towards the door when I suddenly understand what just happened, no,NO!

"Stop Bella. Where are you going?"

She looks at me and blushes madly " We have to go, I work in the laundry and I'm not supposed to come up to the private suites, goodbye Mr Masen Sir." She rushes out past the girl and is gone...

"I'm so sorry Mr Masen, I don't know how she got in here, you should have got your guards to throw her and those dreadful children out, not that the small one would have understood anyway, it's retarded you know, my name's Lauren, please let me know if you need any further assistance, I'll make sure you get what you need immediately."

I can feel my anger getting worse by the minute, how dare she! Bitch. I grab my hair and tug on it, I'm really pissed off now, how could she treat Bella like that, those lovely children, I start to open my mouth when I catch the looks Jake and Sam are both throwing my way, they give a very small shake of their heads and gesture to the back of the room, I sigh and turn away and head for the bathroom, I can't deal with the woman now, I need to think.

"You need to leave Miss, we will call down if we need something." Sam's tone is very clipped, he's angry too, "But I didn't get my photo with Edward!"

" Out Miss, before we contact Mr Newton to let him know you are being a nuisance, I would hate for you to lose your job, but your un-professional conduct is very disappointing in an establishment such as this."

Wow, who knew Jake knew so many big words! I hear the door shut with a slam, and come out of the bathroom, Jake and Sam are both staring at me arms crossed, shit, deep shit.

I go and sit down on the sofa, may as well get this over with, it is going to be very un pleasant. I clear my throat, how do I explain all that just happened, well better start somewhere I guess.

"So, um I expect you're wondering what happened then?"

" No shit!" Oh a double reply that's really bad.

"I met Bella a few times when Alice was 4 and at pre school."

"Yes Edward, we heard that bit for ourselves, but that doesn't explain your bringing her up here! What if she was a security risk?" Sam is mad now, I can't help the chuckle that escapes my lips.

"Bella, security risk? Did you not see her clearly?"

"Of course we saw her, my point is you were happily chatting to her without really knowing who she was, she could have found that info about the Pix on the internet, how do you know she is who she said?" How do I explain this without sounding crazy?

"Um, I knew it was her because of the sting I got in my hand when she touched me." I mumble quietly. Silence. Then Jakes low chuckle fill the space, "Sting? What is she a jellyfish?, Don't be ridiculous Ed."

"I'm serious Jake, it feels like electric whenever she touches me, it happened before when I first met her, I was nearly 8 and on holiday form school when Mum took me with her to get Alice, Bella was there and she hugged me then ran off to her Mum. I saw her a few times after that, then one day she was just gone, Alice was devastated for days after, she never saw or heard from her again. Mum said the school said it was a family matter and they had moved. I KNOW it's her." I feel kind of empty, like something is missing, I want to see her again.

"Well OK it's her, now what?" Sam is still angry with me.

"I don't know, I feel drawn to her, it feels like some thing's missing now that she's not here. I don't know what to do... I'm so fucked up."

"Have some more coffee Edward, I think you need to finish telling us exactly why we are here in this crumbling heap and why your Mum sent you." Sam's eyes are soft and understanding. Here goes nothing then, time to let them know just how messed up all our lives are about to be.

"Mum and Dad want me to move back here, permanently." They both look at me with shock written all over their faces, "Yeah, surprise huh." Their mouths just open and close with no sound coming out, this cant be a good sign.

"They believe after all that has happened in the last year has affected my behaviour, they want me to get more therapy and give Hollywood a big break for a while until I can cope with it again or quit it completely. I'm here to look for a house to buy, and try and build a real life with a real person. I want what you have Sam, what my Sister has, I cant deal with all the lies and crap in LA any more, it's destroying me and my family. I need help."

I throw my head in my hands at that point, what am I doing? I feel a presence below me, as I look up I see Sam crouching in front of me, I'm surprised to feel that my face is wet from tears I didn't realise I was shedding, he looks hard at me holding my gaze, "We want to help you Edward, why didn't you tell us what was really going on?"

"Shame. I'm ashamed of myself. Watching you and Emily and realising that Tanya never looked at me like Emily looks at you, I wanted to believe she loved the real me, not the public image, do you know I never even told her may real name? How fucked up is that? My girlfriend didn't know my name."

"Why not Ed?" "I suppose I never really trusted her deep down, must have been subconscious, I don't know, I thought I loved her, but I realise I was in love with the dream of her not the reality. I'm so ashamed of how I fell apart too after we split up, I never wanted either of you to see me like that."

God, its like a river I cant seem to stop what's flowing out of my mouth, they must hate me for being so weak, so naive and gullible too, what is the point?...


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers apply, I wish I was SM but sadly not!

**Chapter 4.**

**BPOV**

What the hell have I done? . Mike is not going to let this slide this time, I run all the way down the hall ways and drag Seth with me.

"Hurry Seth, we have to get back to the cottage, run!" I feel like I'm about to burst into sobs again, what a bloody mess. We make it out of the castle and round the corner without being seen by anyone, Jessica is hardly ever at her desk, to busy boning Mike in the supply cupboards, I just hope Lauren will keep quiet, I need this job so much.

We reach the gate that goes to my cottage, well cottage in the loosest sense of the word. It's a broken down gatehouse really , 2 bedrooms a kitchen and a lounge room, and the crowning feature? An outside toilet. Yes that is correct, in 2012 we have an outside toilet. At least there is a very small closet room that has a fitted shower, it is actually the whole room, I can live with it though, at least we keep clean, and beggars can't be choosers.

We live here for £130 per week which is taken directly from my wages and electricity is included, but being a laundry worker means I get the lowest wage of £6.19 per hour. I do 40hrs a week and get a roughly £60 to spare after rent, but food a car and clothes all add up.

But at least I'm able to get Seth to school and keep Leah with me at work and Seth when he finishes school.

My friend Angela works in the kitchen as wait staff and she keeps Seth plied with food and bits for Leah too when she can, she is amazing, it means I only have to really worry about 1 proper meal a day for the children. Food is so expensive, I buy mostly pasta and rice and tinned foods, things that last and are filling, if Mike ever found out that we ate from the kitchens we would be gone, out for good, he made it very clear we were allowed to live here as a favour to previous hotel owner the Duke of Avon who apparently had a high regard for my Father before he passed away, but favours only get you so far..

"Seth, are you alright?" I worry about him, he has been though too much for his small 6 years, he tries so hard to look after us.

"I'm fine Mum, who is Edward? He looks really familiar?" Shit! How do I explain this to him? "Well, he is a film star. But I met him before when I was a little girl, his sister Alice was my best friend at pre-school, when was 4 your Grandfather Charlie had an accident at work and died, my Mother moved us away from our home and I never saw Alice or her family again." There that should do it, maybe...

"Wow, a film star? Why did you call him Mr Masen, he said it was Cullen? Why didn't you find Alice when you grew up? Where is Grandma? What are ..."

"Enough Seth! Just stop for a moment, I can't think. Edward uses his middle names for his movies, before you ask I don't know why, I asked my Mother about Alice but she wouldn't let me get in contact with her and when I was grown up I had you and _him_. We moved around so much it was hard to keep any friends let alone find old ones. That was all a long time ago now, and we have a very different life."

"But where is Grandma? Have I met her? When are we going to see Edward again, I like him a little and Jakes game." Ugh, why did he have to pick up on everything so fast, I really didn't want to speak about Renee. I hate her. This is all her damn fault too.

" Grandma is not here Seth, you have met her but you were quite small, I don't really know where she is now, I haven't heard from her in a few years. I don't know why Edward is here or for how long, but he lives in a very different world to us Seth, his life is private and we mustn't intrude in it. I know he was kind to us, but he is paying to be here and we must carry on the same as usual, we are not allowed in those parts of the hotel you know that, if Mr Newton saw us I would lose my job and our cottage. It cant happen again Seth, just stay this side of the driveway and out of the grounds please... it's very important." Please understand Seth...

"He likes you you know."

"Pardon? What makes you say that?" How could Edward like me, my child puts a football in his groin, I spaz out into a incoherent heap on the floor after his poor guard tried to help me...Oh God I really hope he doesn't ask me to explain that, I just can't...

"You could see it, in his eyes they were glowing, even Jake said it, why would they help us if he didn't like you?"

" I don't know, his family were always very caring I remember, I expect he was just being a gentleman, anyway it makes no difference, we probably won't see them again, please don't tell your friends at school about Edward being here, the whole hotel is rented out by Edward so just say nothing to them please..."

"Sure. What's for dinner? I'm starving!" Oi boys! Always with the food..."We have got some pasta and cheese sauce?"

"But we had that the other day!" I am aware of this, but fresh food is expensive and we will just have to make do.

" I know Seth. I'm sorry but that is all there really is, but its a really nice cheese, Angela gave me some cut off's from the lunch service, we had toasties last night. Also this is Leah's favourite"

"Fine" he huffs and walks off, I watch him go to Leah and he takes her to the lounge to play. Leah, my precious little girl, why is life so unfair, she is just a child , it's not her fault at all, it's mine. If I had kept my mouth shut and just given _them _what they wanted she wouldn't have to deal with this.

I sort out the pasta quickly and make the cheese sauce, there isn't much milk, so I make sure the kids tea is coated nicely, I will be fine with just the pasta, I let out a big sigh,I'm getting fatter with all the carbs but it's more important for the children's health to have the vegetables and fruit.

"Come on guys it's ready" They eat everything and Seth looks at me expectantly, so I give him some more, this was new, "That's all there is baby, have you been hungry all day?"

"Yeah, I ate all my lunch at 1st break, but Angela gave me a couple of biscuits earlier. My school trousers are getting too small again too." He adds that very quietly, looks like another trip to the shops, I think he is going to be tall like_ him. _

A shiver runs down my spine and my skin erupts with goosebumps, I shake it off, I mustn't think about it.

"Right you two, shower and bed." Seth sighs and Leah just giggles, she loves her showers, "Mummy, can we play in it this time?" Leah's voice is so beautiful, I love to hear her speak, she does it so rarely. "Not this time baby girl there isn't much hot water and I have to wash clothes tonight, come on lets get you in." She laughs and takes off through the kitchen.

When they are both in bed, (they share a bed as that's what the cottage came with and I cant afford another one) I sort out the washing, I do all Seth's school stuff first, I have to use the sink as I'm not allowed to use the hotels washing machines, unless I pay them for their use, we hardly have enough as it is with out that added to it. I sometimes have to use them in the Winter as it's so hard to get the clothes clean and dry especially with all the mud around here. By the time I'm done it's 1.30am I go to bed and wish for better times and hopes for my children, what kind of future are they going to have if we carry on like this.

What can I do?...

A/n I have found this pov very hard to write so bear with me please, more Edward later.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers apply, SM story.

Sexual content in this chapter.

**Chapter 5.**

**EPOV**

My head hurts! Oh that is too bright, bright light, I know how Gizmo felt now, I roll over, damn lumpy pillows too, ugh I feel like shit too, what the hell did I drink last night anyway?

I get up slowly and the room moves too, I stumble to the bathroom, well what do you know? Not only do I feel like my head is being drilled and my stomach is dying I look like shit too. Fan fucking tastic!

I'm going to kill Jake, or Sam, actually I'm going to kill them both! I strip off and climb in the shower, it is an amazing shower, I'm pleasantly surprised as the hotel is so old and the beds seem to be from the Middle Ages, but they have state of the art bathrooms what's up with that? The water is hot and it feels really good, I can feel the worries of yesterday washing away, and with the thoughts of yesterday come the thoughts of Bella.

Her beautiful chocolate eyes that you can see all the way through. Her hair that just looked so beautiful and soft, I want to touch it. Skin that was electrifying to touch, that special tingle that we share, so soft, I loved the feel of holding her in my arms too keeping her safe.

With these thought passing through my brain my cock decides it's awake, without really thinking about it I stroke it back and forth, harder, I imagine her in front of me one hand on my length, the other cupping my balls, gently stroking me, loving me, wanting me, me, just Edward I stroke faster panting now, I want her. I can see her eyes looking up at me, her eyes dripping with desire, then her mouth opens and she smiles a wicked grin and wraps her mouth around me, taking it all the way in, I can feel the back of her throat, sucking, licking me, surrounding me with her warmth, I feel dizzy as I shout her name as I cum against the wall, I stand there shaking and panting, well that was new. I haven' t felt like that ever, never so intensely not with Tanya who I thought I loved, what is happening to me?...

I finish getting dressed and send Jake a message to let him know I'm up, I hope I woke him, and I really hope his head is being stamped on by elephants too! A rap at the door a few minutes later and there they both are, smiling!

"Fuckers, how can you be so happy, my head is going to drop off soon, what the hell did you do to me last night?" I have to sit down I'm feeling dizzy again and sick... Jake just smirks at me, and Sam looks far too happy

"I hate you both you know that don't you?"

"Ed don't be like that, it was for your own good you know, you were getting to be so upset and ranting we just decided you needed to let loose for an evening. We don't judge you, you know that, we just wanted to help you, it seemed like drinking yourself unconscious was what you wanted to do too. Sam tried to take the bottle away when you started getting giggly but you punched him..." FUCK!

"Did I? I'm sorry Sam, I don't know what came over me, I'm not an aggressive drunk, what happened?"

I'm really screwed up, Dad is going to flip, I don't even want to think of what Mum will say, what the hell am I doing. Right, this stops now.

"It's okay Edward, you had most of a bottle of Jack and you didn't want to give it up, I tried to reason with you but you just sat laughing holding it like it was your best friend, I went to snatch it from you but you have good reflexes and caught me in the ribs, which are fine by the way, oh and Emily said quote " You fucking dickhead, I'll kill you if Sam can't perform properly tonight" I resent that remark too, nothing wrong with my "performance"..

Is he serious? I have images in my brain I just don't want bleugh!

"Sam, why did you let me have the Jack in the first place? Dad is going to flip out, and Mum is going to nail your ass to the door, what were you both thinking? I'm really sorry about your ribs too, but please don't put any more images of you and Emily in my head, I feel sick as it is..."

Jake is sniggering, I throw a cushion at him, but he just jerks to the side and it knocks off a lamp instead "Fuck it! Shit, is this antique? What did you move for?"

"Because I am trained to dodge all flying missiles, I learnt real quick with Stephanie, she used cups instead of cushions, plus you throw like a girl."

"Fuck you Jake" I just fall on the bed, I want to curl up and die quietly. What is that noise, it's too bloody loud, my demon phone.

"Jake just tell them to bugger off and let me die in peace."

He chuckles a little and picks out my phone from my abandoned trousers form yesterday, "Hello? .. Yeah he's a little busy right now, huh, mm okay; yep we will see you there then, by Pix."

"What, why was Alice calling me? Where are we seeing her? She's busy at work, Mum said I wouldn't see her until next week, why the fu..."

"Jesus Ed just stop. Can't get a damn word in edgeways sometimes. Yes that was Alice, yes we will be seeing her, she has finished the project she was doing and your Mum thought you might like your own car to drive around."

"Oh, I see, that would be good."

I sigh a little, I love my cars I can't wait to have them all with me again, I just made do with hired cars in LA with drivers, it was so much hassle getting around over there, hang on,

"Which car is she bringing?"

Jake goes a little green and he's sweating, Sam too looks a bit pale, "Um ... yeah about that..."

"Jacob, which car is my little Sister driving here?"

I feel really sick now; if she touches that car I will be so fucking mad...

"JACOB! Which one? Tell me now for God's sake before I go crazy!"

"Kylie".

"What the FUCK! I will kill her, she knows what that car means to me, what the hell is she thinking, how could Dad let her take it? She'll kill herself the way she drives, its bloody ridiculous, how dare she. Give me the phone. Jacob, give me the god damn phone now!"

I'm beyond angry now, I want to hit something so badly, I stalk over to the bed and just start kicking it, piece of shit it is anyway, I don't realise that I'm also muttering like a crazy person until Sam just barks at me to shut up and sit down.

"When will she be here?" I'm still seething, stupid girl, what is she playing at...

"She was 10 minutes away when she rang; she stopped to just give you a heads up, instead of just showing up. I'm sure she will be fine Ed, she can handle the cars really well you know."

"She drives like a fucking maniac Jake, you've seen it."

If she has damaged my Kylie I'll never forgive her, well not for a really long time, I love that car, she's my favourite. I hear a screech and spraying of gravel. If that is her I'll... Argh I don't know...

"Edward, she's here. I'll go down and meet her, just calm down, have some tea."

"Tea? Are you mad! My sister drove my special car here, from London, my car that she wants too, I might add, if she has damaged it I will send her packing to bloody Timbuktu! And I don't want any fucking tea!"

He gives me a small smile and just breezes out the door, maybe I should hit him again, he obviously didn't learn his lesson. Jake just sits down in the corner chair; he's playing that stupid game again. I hear tap tap tap of shoes clicking briskly along and the tinkly laugh of my sister, I get up and wait in the middle of the room.

"Edward. How are you? Did you have a good trip over? Have you had a look around the area yet? Oh is the kettle on? I really need some tea."

Is she having a laugh? I feel myself shaking with anger; I take a deep breath and step away from her.

"Alice, please give me the keys right now.

" She looks at me and smirks.

"Really Edward, it's just a car, I did have fun though, it's surprising how fast you can go when there is so little traffic around. Do you know I only left home an hour ago? Isn't that amazing?"

"You took _MY Kylie_ without my permission, and you have the nerve to stand here and tell me you drove it like a fucking crazy lunatic? It's more than 90miles Alice! How fast did you make the poor thing go for God's sake, and it's not just a car, if you want one get Jasper to cough up for it, but keep your mitts off mine!"

She just stands there, hands on hips staring at me, she is in the wrong, and it is my car. One of 5 but that is not the point, it's my favourite.

"Edward, get the stick out of your ass, and come sit down, you look like hell. What have you been doing to yourself?"

She pulls me over to the sofa and pushes me down, then cuddles up to me. I sigh and wrap my arms round her, kissing the top of her head, I chuckle a little, the image of Alice 5ft 1 sitting behind the wheel of one of the most powerful cars currently on the planet, it is one of the most expensive though.

"Alice, do you know anything about Kylie?"

"Yes, it's a very pretty red Aston Martin, which you insist on treating like a precious baby. It is a car Edward. It takes you from A to B end of story." She giggles a little.

"Pix, that pretty car you thrashed down here, cost me £1.5 million pounds."

She sits up very quickly and gapes at, then the mouth starts opening and closing with no sound coming out, wow, I finally found a way to shut her up!

"Edward, you can't be serious. That is a stupid amount to pay for a car, you have 4 others for God's sake, and it's just an Aston."

"Serious as a heart attack Alice. £1.5 million last year. I expect I would pay nearer £2 now."

"Why? It's a car! What's wrong with you?"

Oops, even Mum doesn't know how much Kylie cost; better get it over with, it feels like an ongoing therapy session.

"I got her after Tanya Alice. It helped a little, I gave the same amount to charity too Alice, I split it between 20 different ones, it made me feel less wasteful about the whole thing. I had to do something Alice; I was going crazy thinking about it all the time. Everywhere I went pictures of us, then pictures of her with so many different men. Babies all the time, everyone I saw seemed to have a baby, or be pregnant, I couldn't deal with it, so I bought a midlife crisis car. Kylie is special Pix, for so many reasons. Just how fast did you dive her anyway?"

I relax a little and she snuggles deeper into my shoulder, I love her, and she loves me. Edward.

"Only 180mph, it started to get a little twitchy after that."

I feel the colour drain form my face.

"Alice are you nuts? Have you got a death wish? That car can go to 222mph, 0-60 in 3.5 seconds, there are only 77 in the whole world! I had to go on a special course to be able to drive it, and you booted it here, it's not like your Porsche Pix, it's a supercar. Dad will have your backside when I tell him."

It's a cheap below the belt shot I know, pulling the big brother tells on you card, but she could have killed herself.

"Mm, I'm sure he would be interested to know that you look like shit, and your rooms stinks like a bar, not to mention your breath reeks of scotch, it goes both ways big brother! You tell, I tell and I think he may just feel that my tale is worse than yours. Now, how about that tea? I'm parched."

Well shit! Now what?...


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers apply, SM story.

**Chapter 6**

**EPOV**

I'd forgotten how being around Alice can be. She is like the energizer bunny from hell; if you hop her up with caffeine she's even worse!

After zipping around my suite unpacking everything in sight, even my undies, she then has the gall to offer to unpack for Jake. He very quickly made his excuses and legged it, coward! Sam on the other hand is very quiet, just sort of moping a little, missing Emily I suspect, but I would have thought he would be happier today as he was leaving to collect her for their holiday, mm...

"What time is Emily getting in Sam? Have you had any thoughts on where to go for your holiday? I'm sure Dad would lend you Esme isle if you fancied a trip to the Caribbean."

I try to be upbeat, but I really don't want him to leave, Garrett is an excellent guard, but a little taciturn with people, I'm sure I will have to put up with crude jokes at my expense to for our situation, I really should learn to just shut my damn mouth.

"Yeah...about that, um Alice told me I didn't need to collect her, she will be arriving here shortly before dinner time, so that's all good really, Garrett is getting in late tonight... don't look at me like that Edward, it's your own fault. You shouldn't have disrespected my wife like that, you're very lucky I've known you a long time and am a good friend, or your I'd still be kicking you ass all over!"

He looks a bit grim, frowning and panting a little. I'm such a bastard.

"I said I was sorry Sam. I didn't mean to go off on her like that, she's my friend too, you both mean a lot to me and I know that you would do anything for me. Please take the Island, I want to try and make it up to you."

I pull my hands through my hair and pace a little, I hate how I lose my temper sometimes, it's got so much worse since the Tanya fiasco, I hope like hell that this break will help me. I need my family and all the friends I can get, I need to remember how to be me.

"Your Mother is coming down with Jasper today Edward."

I choke a little on the air, shit!

"Are you serious? Mum? Fuck. She'll kill me, then scream at me, beat my ass and kill me again, can I go with you? Please..."

I'm a dead man, Mum is will be mad when she finds out how I spoke to Emily especially after that awful meeting the other day too. My first instinct is to run. Yep my Mum is _that_ scary.

"Relax man, she won't kill you, Jake will protect you. Maybe."

He sniggers at me and walks off to his suite. Ugh, why couldn't he just tell me a time so I can count the hours to my impending doom.

It could be worse though, Emmett could have come and I would have gladly thrown myself at screaming hoards of fans rather than listen to his ribbing and sarcastic comments.

Alice comes rushing back in, still hopped up on caffeine I suspect.

"Yes Pix? Something to tell me?"

She looks a little shy and brightly giggles, "Nope! Just wondering if you were going to come outside, it is beautiful here, so refreshing, come on grumps!"

She starts dragging me by my t-shirt; I stop and grab my sun glasses and wallet just in case.

"Fine. But I'm still mad at you, why didn't you tell me Mum was coming here? I thought I was going up next week?"

We set off down the stairs, and run smack into the screechy girl from yesterday, bugger.

"Sorry Laura, I didn't see you there."

I move out of her way but she sidles up and tries to squeeze as close as she can through the narrow passage way, run, run, RUN! My brain is screaming at me, but I just stand there hardly breathing.

"Oh Mr Masen, don't worry I'm fine. I was just on my way up to your room to put all your things straight. I'm glad I ran into you though, I never got that photo with you yesterday."

She is squeezing closer, I begin to feel violated again like last time, at least her hand are full so no ability to grab my junk again.

"Excuse me please, you are blocking the way."

Alice makes us both jump. Laura or whatever scowls at her, Pix gives my hand a small tug, "Come along, they're waiting for you."

"Perhaps next time Laura."

"It's Lauren."

She spits at me and actually looks pissed off too, mm wonder what for, I see the look she is glaring at Alice, ah, she sees our hands together and frowns a little more.

"Ok then."

I say and walk briskly away practically dragging Alice now in my haste to escape.

"Mr Mason sir, I do hope you are enjoying your stay, I trust you have found everything to be to your satisfaction?"

Mick the dick. Perfect.

"Yes thank you, it's all fine.

" I start to walk away, eager to escape his grovelling when he pipes up with...

"I was informed that you were accosted by one of our laundry staff members and her children found their way into your suite. I would like to offer you our most sincere apologies and can assure you that it won't happen again. The woman has been dealt with in what I trust is a most satisfactory manner, please allow me to offer you a complementary dinner for 2 whilst you are staying here."

I am speechless, Bella. What has he done with her? Before I can ask what the hell he meant Alice stops gaping and comes right up to his face and I can tell she is furious

"What do you mean people were in Masens' suite? What the hell do you think you are playing at? Do you think NDA agreements are for fun? When I booked this hotel YOU assured me of the staff's discretion, how dare you! Just wait until I speak to our lawyer about this, and complimentary dinner doesn't even begin to cover it. You will be hearing from us in due course."

She turns on her heel and stomps off out the door, I think my mouth has joined Mikes on the floor, I haven't seen her so angry for a long while, not since the she found out about Tanya. I shake my head a little, Bella.

"Mike, what have you done to Ms Swan?"

I have to know, I can't imagine the thought of her in difficulty, and those sweet kids, I tremble a little just remembering her touch, and this morning.

"I fired her Mr Masen. She is currently at the local police station waiting to be formally charged with trespassing and harassment. I trust this is the best outcome for you. I'm mortified at her behaviour, I can't apologise enough to you. Just let ..."

I'm beyond angry now, fucker, how dare he send her to jail she did nothing wrong, I pinch my nose and take a couple of deep breaths.

"What about the children?"

He waves his arm nochantly, as if they are of no matter.

"I would imagine that social services will deal with them, I expect they will insist on putting the retarded one in a unit, it really is none of my business what happens to them. I was told to provide her with a job and residence, and she has wilfully abused my generosity, she is out and bloody good riddance to her and her trash.!"

He is actually looking quite emotional, I want to hit him so badly Leah is special and so beautiful, how can anyone call her retarded, I have to get away from him before my temper gets the better of me, as I start to walk away I suddenly process part of what he said.

"Do you mean Ms Swan lives here in the hotel?

"Oh no. She rents a cottage around the side of the castle, completely out of the way she is there. Why?"

"I was curious that's all, has she lived there long?"

"I gave her the job almost 3 yrs ago. The girl child was a baby at the time. I trust that will be all Mr Masen?"

He is looking at me funny, just them my phone vibrates in my pocket, Jake. I take it out and answer it.

"Jake, can you get both cars ready and get Pix in Kylie, I will be driving let her know, see you in a few."

"Thank you Mike. Good day."

I swiftly walk outside and find Alice talking with Sam, I reach for Alice and motion for Sam to follow me. We go around the corner, and as we go I'm looking for Bella's cottage, there finally, I see a couple of toys by a brick building, a clapped out piece of crap car in the front a Renault 11 of all things, God it looks 100 yrs old.

I quickly text Jake to change the plan, and to bring the cars around the side of the hotel. Alice is just looking at me with this incredulous look on her face, I ignore her and go to the car and look in it. After a couple of swift tugs the doo creaks open, 2 car seats are there, I grab one and put it out behind me, then walk around the other side, this sodding door doesn't open at all, I slam it's roof in frustration, I just want to hurry, God knows how long they have been at the station. Sam picks up my anger and pulls the door open again, I give him a small smile, I try to unbuckle the other seat, but I'm too big really for reaching in, shit! I sigh and climb out, Jake has arrived now and they are all just staring at me, mm, explanations? No, not right now.

"Alice, can you get in here and get that seat out? I can't do it properly, please?"

She just gives me a glare, very Mumish of her, "What's going on Edward? Who's is this piece of junk?"

She starts tapping her foot too, wonderful.

"I really don't have the time to explain just now Pix. Please just get the seat out, I will tell you what's going on but later. Please just hurry."

"Fine, ass hole!"

I sigh and hang my head, Jake is grinning all over, I really hate him sometimes. I just know he is storing up all these titbits for Garrett.

"There, that wasn't so hard was it? Now tell me brother dear, just what the hell is going on? And don't even think of walking away from me, I will have the boys just drag you down and back again."

I look at my watch, 12.30pm, I let out the breath I was holding, and motion Alice to Bella's door, I try the handle and to my shock it just swings open.

"In here Alice, you get a quick rundown and then we have to go, Jake, can you and Sam try and get those seats fitted into the Audi please, we will be a few minutes."

As we go in the first thing that strikes me is how small it is, jeez, my bedroom in LA is bigger than this whole downstairs, how can 3 people live like this? I walk about, what the hell is this? A shower? A it would fit Alice fine, she's so small anyway, no toilet? Where is that then? I go up a few stairs, 2 doors, I open the one on the right, small as hell room with a single bed, must be Seth's room, as I go in the other Alice comes behind me, I don't speak to her and just go in the next room.

"What the fuck!"

"Edward, I swear if you don't tell me what is going on I'm going to scream at you! Whose is this place? We shouldn't be in here."

I can't speak for a moment, those children share a bed, not just a room a bed, a few toys are on the floor and a stuffed much cuddled rabbit judging by the looks of it. I pick it up, then grab all the toys I can see, an armful, is this it? There is a small cupboard with a few clothes in it, I shove the toys at Alice and mach back over to what I assume is Bella's room; I actually want to cry for her. How can anyone live like this, no possessions nothing of value anywhere that I can see. Alice is tapping again, sit on the bed, God, it's even worse than my hotel one, I didn't think that was possible.

"This is Bella Swan's house Alice. She has lived and worked here for 3 yrs, I met her yesterday in the gardens, she has 2 children, Seth who is 6 and a half, and Leah who is nearly 3, and she is also deaf. I have to help her Alice, this is my fault."

I hold my head in my hands, what have I done? She doesn't deserve this, those poor kids certainly don't.

"I have to go and get her Alice, I can't leave her there or the children, you have to help me help her, please Alice, I'm begging you."

She puts the toys down and wraps her arms around me, and I hug her to me tight, I've really missed her.

"Sh Edward, it's Ok. Is it really Bella? My Bella? How do you know, it's been years, nearly 20. Are you sure?"

"I know Pix. When she touched me my skin felt like she was electrifying me, do you remember me telling you? She knew me too, called me Edward, not Anthony.I just feel so drawn to her, I have to help her, and she is the person who was in my room yesterday. She didn't sneak in though, I took her there. She had some sort of episode in the gardens in front of us yesterday, I didn't know what to do with her, I couldn't leave her there, so we took them all to my suite.

That girl on the stairs caught them in my room and obviously told the manager, he fired her and had her taken to jail, the kids are with her. Mike said they will put Leah in an institution, I have to get them out Alice, this is because of me. I won't let it happen to her, I need her."

I just break down sobbing, what must Alice think of me, such an emotional fuck up. Not such a big brother now am I. I feel wet on my shirt and realise that Alice is crying too, I hug her to me a little more.

"Come on Edward. Let's get out of this dreadful house. Where is the local police station? If you are right and it is her, I will not let her go away from me again, not without a fight at least. I love her, I always have. Now dry your eyes you big pussy, and lets go get her. Can I drive?"

"NO Alice! Kylie is MINE... Come on lets go. You calling shotgun?"

She grins at me and grabs the toys and prances out of sight. Right then, time to man up Cullen, I pull myself together and step out into the yard, Jake is waiting with Sam.

Ok then let's get this show on the road then, I hope I'm not too late...

A/N

I found a few mistakes in previous chapters with names, apologies'. I can't seem to change them either, the page won't let me, so if you read and notice, Sorry.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers apply, SM story.

**Chapter 7.**

**EPOV**

Alice and I get back downstairs, Christ, this place is a real shit hole. I want Bella and the children to have better, they deserve better. I slam the door on the way out, Jake is waiting by the car door for me, his face just looks grim, I guess I should tell him what is going to happen now, I suspect he and Sam will think I have really flipped my lid this time, oh well, here goes nothing.

"Did you get those car seats in ok Jake?" I try and think positively; maybe I can fool him with a happy attitude?

"Yes. What the bloody hell is going on? Why have we just apparently stolen children's car seats?" He is hissing quite a bit, Alice is no help and is quietly speaking to Sam, who is waiting by Kylie.

"We are going to get Bella and the children. It seems that Mike had her arrested for trespassing in my suite yesterday. I will not allow that to happen. I can't Jake. There is something about her, I can't explain it really, but I won't allow her and those poor kids to put away. Please Jake, help me, please..."

I don't realise that I'm crying until I feel a splash fall on my hand, I wipe them away, embarrassed, what a pansy I'm turning into. I just want Bella, I actually want my Mum too, and I need a hug. I have a feeling if Sam and Jake could hear my inner monologue they would revoke my man card!

"Lucky for you Sam knows where the local police station is then isn't it? But Edward, seriously, what are you going to do? You can't just walk in there and demand to have Bella released, have you forgotten who you are?"

"I haven't given it much thought really, I think I will send Alice in first with Sam. Look can we go now please, I don't know how long they have been there, Mike said something about Leah being sent to an institution if they keep hold of Bella, can we just hurry?"

I'm aware that I sound a little desperate, but I feel desperate, I just know something bad is happening to her, I have to get there.

I sense Jake relax a little, he whistles Sam, he climbs in the driver's seat and growls at me to follow him, carefully. Alice is already waiting in Kylie, bouncing a little in her seat, as I turn the engine I love the feel and the purr it gives. This is my favourite car; I have a few Astons, the Vantage, Vanquish and DB9 but this? This I love. As we pull in behind Sam I can feel Alice staring at me.

"Yes Pix? What is the matter now?"

"You need to call Mum, she Jasper and Emily will be here soon, you never know, she just might come in handy for what we are about to do."

She looks at me beseeching me with her gaze. Why the hell not. It would appear that my family are just going to butt in anyway, I have no doubt that Emmett and Rosalie will be here soon too. Just as well I rented the whole hotel really. I fish out my phone and pass it to Alice. I hope Mum understands.

"Call her Alice, ask them to come to the station, I think you might be right and we will need all of them, not just Mum."

I sigh a little, what the hell am I doing? Last week I was in LA and storming around swearing at producers and getting shitfaced every night, and now about to do battle with the police for a woman with apparently massive baggage who I haven't set eyes on for 20yrs because of an electric feeling. I think I may have surpassed crazy and gone straight to _belonging in a psychiatric centre_. Fantastic. I'm sure if this gets out it will keep the press entertained for weeks. I think Emily will actually kill me this time, I have no doubt Sam will help her hide my body too.

Alice hands my phone back, she has a big grin on her face, oh God what has she done?

"Mum is going to meet us there, she said give them 20mins and you are not to go in unless she tells you to. Under any circumstances. And just to let you know? Emily is "really fucking pissed at you". I thought that would cheer you up a little. Can't you drive this beast any faster? It was much quicker when I was driving; maybe you should pull over and let me have at it?"

I think I am in shock. I turn and glare at my pixie sister.

"Are you fucking insane?! You drive like a God damn maniac Alice, I'm amazed you even got here in one piece yesterday. We are on a public road, there are laws. I just can't even, you... argh Alice! Just don't speak to me. Not a single word. Jasper will be pissed at you too when I tell him how fast you drove. Just think about how we are going to get Bella and the kids out, and then what to do with them; she has lost her job because of me."

I hit the steering wheel in frustration. I actually speed up a little more; I just have a really bad feeling.

15 minutes later we pull up outside a dingy building, POLICE written in big letters across the front. I actually feel a little sick, what if they have already charged her and removed the children? I feel my palms start to sweat and I come over a bit dizzy, I'm vaguely aware of Alice shaking my shoulder and speaking to me. Snap out of it Cullen, no help to anyone like this.

"Edward! Get a grip for pity's sake! I'm going in now with Sam, Jake is going to sit here with you; Mum will be here in a few minutes and will come straight in to me. I will call you if we need you, but hopefully we won't. Okay? Good."

She gets out and Jake climbs in, what all did she say? I heard her say Mum will be coming and Jake. What is that noise? Oh for love of all that Holy! Fucking angry birds! I hate that bloody thing.

"Jake! Please turn that fucking thing off, or I swear I will ram it down your throat!"

"Oh stow your stress head Ed, ha ha, that rhymes! Just sit tight, Mama C will fix it for you. What you going to do after this little trip? You have actually given this some thought haven't you? She was fired, so what next? Move them all in with you?" He sniggers. That stupid music starts again. Mm, what am I going to do?

"That's not a bad idea actually."

He chokes.

"What the fuck Ed! I was having a laugh, you can't do that, Christ, and can you imagine if the press found out? You're a movie star for fucks sake, you don't know this chick. She isn't your girlfriend, and then there are the kids. Are you even thinking with your brain or just your dick?"

I punch him.

"You fuck! Shut the hell up. You know nothing about her, or what I feel about her. I don't even know what the hell this feeling is! All I know is that I need her, she is so innocent and those poor children, you didn't see that awful house they live in. The kids share a damn bed Jake, what is this? The Middle Ages?! I DON'T KNOW what I am doing but I will not see them out on the street with nothing! I will buy her a sodding house if necessary, so just shut the fuck up NOW!"

I my head on the steering wheel, repeatedly. What. .am. . ! Just then I see my Volvo 60 pull up. Mum. I sigh a little with relief. She gets out and boy does she look the business in her sharp navy pinstripe 3 piece suite. Briefcase in hand she marches up the steps to the station and looks over and blows a little kiss to me.

I smile and wave, I love my Mum. Mum the Barrister. Bastards won't know what hit them!

As I glance in my rear view mirror I see Emily really giving me the death glare, um, yeah, not much of a day off so far then. I give her wave too, she gives me the finger. Nice. Jakes phone rings suddenly and he is quite urgent on the phone, what now I wonder?

"Edward we need to get in there, bring Jasper too, he needs his case, and it's not good. Hurry now."

He jumps out of the car, not even waiting for me he jogs round to the Volvo and speaks to Jasper, they all get out of the car. I feel numb. What can possibly have happened that requires an OB/ Paediatrician?

I start to get dizzy, I feel a hand on my shoulder and a soft Texan accent lilting, "Big deep breaths now Edward, come on, blow it away, that's it. Now we have to get in ok? There is a little situation going on and your Mum wants you to come in, but you have to stay calm. Can you do that? Alrighty then, up you get. Remember, stay calm. It's real important ok? Let's go."

We go up the steps as the others did, what the hell am I going to find. I'm not really sure I want to find out. Bella. I have to make sure Bella is ok.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers apply, SM story. Thank you for all the reviews. Makes me very happy to know that others are enjoying this too! Please remember, this is fiction,it happens in my mind, so artistic licence used later in the chapter.

**Chapter 8**

**EPOV.**

As I take a big breath in I brace myself for what we are about to find. Jake holds the door for me, his face is sympathetic. I am officially freaked now. Jake and sympathy just don't go together at all.

I walk in and the first thing I notice is the desk is empty. Then god awful screaming reaches my ears, not just one person screaming but a few, all in various stages of pitch. What the hell? I rush through the doors and the sight that greets me makes me want to fall to my knees crying.

Bella is curled on the floor screaming, a cop is trying to pull her up, she is flailing her arms at him, her face is a mess of tears and redness, like she has been crying for hours.

Alice is shouting at him and another officer is guarding the man with Bella, he is just shouting back at her.

Mum is berating another man, he looks like the sergeant, she has red spots high on her cheeks, she is furious.

I look across and see Seth, sitting in a cell! He is just sobbing, hunched over his knees sobbing his heart out, calling for Bella. I can't see Leah anywhere? Where the hell is she? I feel all my anger and frustrations of the last few months bubble up to the surface, I turn and glance at Jake and Jasper.

Jake looks really mad. His fists are balled up at his side, a dark scowl all over his face. Jasper looks horrified, just as horrified and shocked as I am.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! Take your God damn hands off her, can't you see how distressed she is you fucking moron. Mum what is happening? Where is Leah? Why is Seth in a cell for Christ's sake, he is 6 years old. Who do people think you are?"

I am so angry, why isn't anyone helping them?

"Edward. Help her. Now Edward!

You stupid man. How dare you treat this woman that way, her poor child is 6, he should not under any circumstance be locked in that cell, no matter how he has behaved, what kind of monster are you?! I will have your badge for this, don't think for one minute I won't. Get him out. NOW. And my sons bodyguard. Did you hear me? Did I speak double Dutch? Right now! Alice stop with the shouting I can't hear myself think! Are you still standing here? GET HIM OUT NOW!"

I march over to Bella and pull the man off her. Prick.

I kneel down and pull Bella up to me, her body is just heaving with sobs, she is still flapping her arms around, I gently pin them down a little. Poor girl. I remember Jaspers words,' be calm'. I really want to scream and punch things though.

"Sh Bella, it's me. Edward. Just calm down, it's all going to be ok, look my Mum has got Seth out, he's here, Jake's got him safe for you. Sh sh sh, come on up you come, just over here, that's it. Nice big breaths, in, out, in, out. Well done. I won't let anyone hurt you Bella, its ok now. I'm here baby. You're just fine. Jasper, can you check Seth, please."

He walks quietly over to Seth and crouches down in front of him. I hold Bella tightly to me; she is still wracked with sobs, what the hell has happened. I look over to Mum who is now telling off all three officers, what was that she said about Sam? Alice is sitting cross legged on the floor beside Seth. He looks a little calmer now; I become aware of a pinching on my chest, Bella is grabbing my shirt so hard, she is breathing heavily but not sobbing anymore. I lean down and speak quietly in her ear not wanting to startle her.

"What happened baby? Why was Seth in a cell?"

"Oh Edward! They came for me at 5am this morning, dragged me out of the house and Seth screamed at the officers and hit a couple and even bit at least one. They... they took... oh God... they took Leah away.

I don't know where she is, they won't tell me. They said I was unfit to look after her properly especially when they found them both in the same bed in the house. They wouldn't let me speak to her or anything, a woman just took her. She was screaming for me Edward screaming so much. I couldn't do anything they had cuffed me, that's when Seth went crazy. They had him in a different cell but I could hear him screaming too, he was a little better after they put him here so he could see me. What am I going to do Edward? I need my children. I just want them to be safe. Oh God what am I going to do? I don't even understand why I'm here..."

She is crying again, trails of tears pouring down her face, Jesus, how to help her? I hear footsteps behind me and as I turn my head Sam comes into view. He has a huge black eye on his right side. What? Mum is right behind him. Seth is now curled up on Alice's lap and he looks to be sleeping, Alice has a river of tears on her face too, Jake is on the phone.

"Edward, bring Bella out to the front please, Jake can you take Seth off Alice please.

You, you stay here and don't let me see your face again while we are in this building!"

Me? What? Oh, I see the policeman who was trying to pull Bella off the floor, he is very red in the face, flushed with embarrassment, he quickly scuttles off to the far corner of the room. Mum is still furious, she is practically breathing fire. I carefully pick up Bella and walk out the front.

Emily is standing by the desk, tapping her shoe, arms folded, and the angriest expression on her face. Oh I'm in the shit now. Sam pushes past me and she walks into his arms, "What happened to your face?" She caresses his face lovingly, "That bastard back there was trying to frisk the poor girl, she was screaming Em, then she collapsed on the floor, he had his hands all over her, so I threw him away from her, but the others grabbed me before I could get any further, he punched me then shoved me in a cell. That poor kid saw it all. I'm sorry Edward, I tried to help her."

I sit down on some very uncomfortable looking chairs, I pull Bella closer to me, what am I going to do? As I think quietly I caress Bella's hair, I give her head a gentle kiss, she smells of freesias and strawberries, it is a very heady intoxicating scent, I breathe it in deeply, as I breathe out I notice that the whole room is quiet. I look up and see all eyes on me. Crap.

"Oh, um...Mum, did they tell you what is actually happening? Where is Bella's daughter?"

I shuffle uneasily. The stares are very disconcerting. Mum clears her throat, "Well it would appear that Bella was arrested for trespassing and harassment, which in my professional opinion is a complete load of utter bollocks!"

"MUM!"

Both Alice and I shout together, I had no concept of how mad she actually was, she never curses, well unless she is really angry, mostly at Emmett actually, when she found out about Tanya, I swear there was a blue cloud over her house for days.

"What?! I have never seen such incompetence, it is disgusting. Trumped up, ridiculous charges for nothing really. That poor child put in a cell and poor Bella treated in such a despicable way, they have been here for over seven hours! They didn't even let her have her phone call, no lawyer nothing. I am now waiting on the Chief Inspector. Those pricks in there could tell me nothing about the little girl. Do you know how this happened Edward?"

Mum's face has softened considerably now she is looking at me and Bella, her gaze is searching. I see Jasper has his arm around Alice, she once again is holding Seth, Emily is staring at me with a shocked expression; Sam has both his arms about her middle. And Jake surprisingly is right behind me, a concerned look on his features. How do I tell this to them, I hardly even know myself.

"One of the maids saw Bella and the children in my suite yesterday afternoon. I took her there, and the kids, there was a... incident, misunderstanding if you will outside. Bella became very distressed, so I felt it best to take her somewhere private until she calmed down. The girl saw her and obviously reported her to the manager. He told me earlier he had her arrested and had fired her also. It's my entire fault Mum. What do I do now? Help me please..."

I drop my face to Bella's hair again, I kiss her there, I need to feel her close to me, it helps. Mum comes over to me, I can see her eyes shining with unshed tears, she wraps her arms around us both and squeezes. The proper Mum hug. I feel the tears pour from my eyes, she looks at me and I see understanding there too, I let out a big sigh, just maybe it will be okay after all.

A deep throat clears, we all jump a little, a tall dark haired man in a smart suit is standing at the desk. He is youngish looking maybe early 30's. He looks quite stern; his hair is in dreadlocks, his skin quite olive toned, he has a mean sort of look to his features. I don't like him. At all.

"Mrs Cullen I presume? I understand you wished to see me? May I ask why the detainees are not in the holding cells? They should not be here."

He has a slightly foreign accent, I really don't like him, I don't know why. It would seem I am not the only one. I hear Jake growl quietly behind me and Jasper stands up, he is quite tall at 6'2 and a little intimidating. Mum stands up straight and marches to the man, she holds her hand out to him, "Mrs Esme Cullen QC. I'm afraid I didn't catch your name, Mr..."

"Chief inspector Laurent. Philippe."

He takes Mum's hand and actually kisses the back of it, smarmy git. Mum takes it back quite quickly. Her face is a mask now, he is in big trouble, but he would appear not to know it. I smile to myself thinking about the shit storm that is about to crash over him.

"Well Chief Inspector, I am very unhappy to report the disgusting behaviour of a few of your officers. I suggest we go to your office where we can have this discussion in private, after you." She gestures with her arm. He looks angrily at me and Bella.

"No Mrs Cullen, not until the prisoners are secured again. It will not do you see, very irregular. Wait here please whilst I fetch the Sergeant." He makes to walk off but Mum is faster.

"Don't you dare attempt to lock that poor distracted girl and her child up again. Who do you think you are? She has done nothing wrong and the child is 6. I am still shocked at what I saw when I walked in this building a short while ago. That man in there is going to have his badge removed. I will not hesitate to have the same done to all your men and you too if you do not let her go immediately."

"You forget yourself Madame Cullen. This is my station. She was arrested for trespass and harassment. Disgraceful behaviour for one in such a position as hers. I am merely awaiting the arrival of social services to remove the child, he cannot stay here. Mr Newton wishes her to be charged and so I shall. Now excuse me, I have a duty to carry out." He starts to walk off. To my surprise Emily jumps in to Bella's defence.

"Now just wait a God damn minute. I believe that the charges brought by Mr Newton are false. There was no trespass, the girl was invited to the room, and her children too. This is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard. The only person who has any right to bring charges is Mr Mason here, and as I'm sure you can see, he clearly knows the girl. I suggest you release her and her children at once."

Have I mentioned how much I love Emily? The jumped up man pales at the mention of my name, I think I can actually see sweat on his brow, Mum's face is a picture of glee; she now has him just where she wants him. I believe you are done mate.

"Merde! Fine, charges dropped. Get out of my station. All of you."

"Just a minute, where is Ms Swans daughter?" Mum is not prepared to let him get away with anything.

"She was removed. Ms Swan is unfit to care for her children. This is the second time she has been arrested; she has been under careful watch for several months. The daughter is retarded. It was felt that it was best if she be removed straight away so she can get the help she needs. The boy will remain here until the social come to collect him. Good day."

An awful screaming starts up again. Bella. She is screaming and babbling as well. Jasper looks horrified, he starts to rummage through his case, he brings out an injection and comes to Bella.

"Sh now darlin' we will sort it all out, you just rest easy now, let Edward take care of you now, sharp scratch. Good girl, that's it." He has injected her in the arm; I stare at him, completely dumbfounded. He pats my arm.

"I couldn't allow her to get do distressed again Edward, she will be ill if she carried on like that. I'm a Doctor first and foremost, she needs calm for the moment, let her mind rest whilst we sort this piece of shit out. Hang on buddy."

I look at Bella, she is asleep. Perhaps it is a mercy after all. How can they send Seth away too? It's not right, she has done nothing wrong. Those kids are happy, well they were.

"Mum, what are we going to do?"

"Emily and I are going to sort it all out Edward, don't you worry. Take Bella, Alice, Jasper and Jake back to the hotel with you. We will stay here and try and fix this mess. I will tell you now Edward, I am not leaving without that child, and the other one too if I can help it. Go on now, Garrett will be there soon. I love you Edward. You have made me very proud today. I'm so happy to have Bella in our lives again too; I will see you later, hopefully with better news. Off you go there's a good boy."

"I love you too Mum. So much. Please just bring those children back, I think they are all she has in this world."

"No Edward, she has us now. We will not allow her to slip away again."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimers apply, SM story. Thank you for all the reviews. Makes me very happy to know that others are enjoying this too! Please remember, this is fiction, it happens in my mind.

**Chapter 9.**

**EPOV.**

I carry Bella out to my car.

"Fucking Bastards! Look, a fucking ticket! Well I'm not bloody well paying it. They can kiss my ass. Rip that one up too Alice, I'm not interested in them. God damn jobs worthy pricks!"

I tear off the ticket and open the passenger door. I literally have to pour Bella into the seat. I reach over her and strap her in, Jasper is right behind me.

"Let me just check her there Edward." He leans in and takes her pulse at her neck; he straightens up and gives me a small smile.

"I'm real sorry about that, but like I said earlier, it'd do her no good getting in such a state. She needs rest. Are you taking her back to her house, or the suite? She needs to be kept an eye on; she could be out for four hours or so."

"My suite I guess. If you and Alice follow with Jake, I'll get him to drop you at her house; can Alice get a few of her bits and bring them up? I don't know what she'll need."

I actually feel helpless. I look at Bella and sigh. What am I doing?

"Emily is going to have my balls for her supper when she hears all this. I was so awful to her the other day. Maybe she can ... Oh shit! Fucking Garrett! Oh fuck my life! That's it. I'm taking her back with me and explaining nothing to anyone until we are all there. I can't keep going over it all the time, it makes me feel crazy. JAKE! Stop smiling, take Alice and Jasper back to the hotel via Ms Swan's house. Meet me in the suite. Please."

I shut Bella's door and walk purposely round to my side. As I slide in I glance at Bella, she does look tired, in fact she looks downright exhausted. It's time she had someone to look after her for a while, I really want to do that for her. The thought of her and the children laughing and smiling makes me smile. Yes. I can give her that. If she will let me.

It doesn't take long to get back to the hotel, I follow Jake around to the side. He stops off at Bella's house and I carry on around.

After stopping the car I look again at my beautiful passenger. She is stunning. Her face is so beautiful, currently it is marred with red blotches, her hair is a like a haystack and her clothes are truly awful, holey long sleeved top and worn out sweat pants. I would give anything to see her clothed in silks and satins, blue maybe to go with her pale alabaster skin.

Mm perhaps Alice can do something with that? I get out and walk round to her side, she is a real dead weight unconscious, I grunt a little with the effort of getting her out of Kylie, that's the big trouble with sports cars, they are so bloody low to the ground! I will have to do more with Emmett when I see him, sooner rather than later I expect if I know Alice and her love of gossiping especially with my nosy cousin!

I carry Bella into the lobby of the hotel, Jessica is at the desk, her mouth gapes open at me. "Good afternoon Ms Lang. I am expecting some visitors shortly; please send them straight up, other than that I do not wish to be disturbed. Thank you."

I walk away quickly, she is still gaping after me. Striding into my suite I place Bella on the bed and roll down the covers on one side, I put her under them, just to her armpits. I walk over to the drink cabinet and pour 2 fingers of whisky, it burns as I swallow it down in one go. Right, enough of that. I go and sit on one of the sofas and let out a big sigh and pull on my hair.

What a mess.

But oddly enough it doesn't seem wrong. It actually feels just right to have that sweet girl in my bed, it should feel awkward and strange, but it all seems just right, what should have been.

I let out a little chuckle, I really have gone crazy, who would have thought Bella Swan would show up in my mad deranged life and tip it upside down, I actually want this, her children too, even after just meeting them once.

I finally realise that this is what was missing with Tanya. A real person who I need and want and who needs me, but doesn't care about who I am but just sees me.

Okay then, how do we do this? She obviously has a past and judging by what I have seen so far it isn't very pretty.

At all.

Mum was right; we won't let her slip away again. She means too much. As I look over to her on my bed, she hasn't moved an inch, she looks terrible and helpless.

I get up and just as I reach over to touch her face I hear quick tapping steps. The door opens and a tear stained Alice runs in, she grabs me around the waist and hugs the hell out of me. The breath is knocked out of my lungs; such is the ferocity of her attack. I look up to see Jasper and Jake; they too look drained and upset. I squeeze Alice to me a little tighter and kiss the top of her head.

"What's the matter Pix? This isn't like you. Guy's what's going on?"

I walk Alice over to the sofa I just vacated; she just stumbles along with me and sits. She has tears running down her face again. I look to Jasper, he looks lost. I start to feel panicked now, what could have happened? Maybe Mum has called them?

"Please will one of you tell me what is going on, before I lose my fucking mind?! Has something happened to the children? Did Mum call? For pity's sake just tell me!"

Jake levels me a glare, he sits opposite me, Jasper comes to Alice's other side and carefully gathers her to him. I think I am going to lose my shit in a minute, just as I take a breath to shout at someone I hear Jake clear his throat.

"Just calm down Ed. We haven't heard anything. We are all a little distressed over Ms Swan's house and some things we found there. It is an insult to call it a house really, they have nothing! The fucking toilet is outside for fuck's sake! What century are we living in, it's just awful Edward. I'm actually glad you punched me earlier, they can't stay in that shithole; please tell me you are going to do something? Fuck it, if you don't I damn well will!"

Jake is breathing heavily after his rant. He is genuinely upset for them. I felt it was a shithole when Alice and I looked around before.

"I am going to Jake. I don't really know what or how, but they are not going back there. Ali, did you get some things for Bella?"

I look at her, she has red puffy eyes now, she shakes a little and shakes her head.

"No, it's all disgusting. Someone threw all their belongings outside and covered them with bleach, even the children's things.

I'm just glad we took those few toys with us. There is nothing salvageable at all. Come on Jake, we are going shopping. I can't just sit here waiting; it's going to drive me crazy. You can drive. Bye Jazzy."

She bounces off of the sofa and grabs her handbag, gives Jasper a smacking kiss and blows one to me; she is halfway across the room before what she has said really registers.

"Alice, what? Shopping for what?"

"Clothes Edward! Weren't you listening? She has no clothes. The children have no clothes. No toiletries either. Nothing, it's all gone. So I am doing what I do best and shopping. Jake is going to be my driver and bag carrier. I'm sure we won't be long. Bye brother dear."

And with that she leaves. Jake looks sick. He is pale and sweaty; he looks a little stunned too.

"Chop chop Jake, she'll come back for you if you don't shift yourself." I chuckle at him, Jasper is stifling giggles too.

We all know how bad shopping with Alice can be. Hours and hours of it, round and round the stores she goes, putting together outfits, it is hell. I would rather spend hours locked up with screaming fans being mauled and signing thousands of autographs, than go on a shopping spree with Alice for three no less.

"You bastards. Why can't Jasper go, he married her therefore she's his problem."

He pouts at us, I laugh outright, Jasper collapse into my side with his giggles, Jake looks on with an extremely disgusted expression. I hear tap tap tap in the hallway.

"For goodness sake Jacob, get a move on. We are losing valuable shopping time. Come on get up; is that what you are going to wear? Well it will have to do, now shift yourself."

She practically drags him from the sofa and shoves his jacket at him, then pushes him before her and out of the door. He seems very startled that this 5ft1 pixie elf, is shoving his 6ft5 built up body around. I'm so happy it isn't me!

As I sit there just quietly thinking Jasper goes over to Bella and looks her over. She moans a little as he touches her neck, he is very careful with her, he smoothes her hair back over her forehead and tucks the covers up a little more. He is frowning as he moves to the drink cupboard, he sees my empty glass from earlier and scowls at me. He pours his own measure out and brings it to sit with me.

"So... what are you planning exactly? This is all very strange Edward, this girl who you all know appears and you lose your sweet mind! I don't think I have seen Alice so upset since last year after the Tanya fiasco. You do have a plan don't you? Have you spoken to Carlisle about this?"

That's what I like best about my brother in law. He says exactly what he means and never bullshits about anything. It's black or white there is no grey area.

"No. I guess I will have that joy to look forward to later especially as Mum is involved now. I can't explain what's happening to me Jazz, it's very surreal, but I will tell you this it doesn't feel wrong. Not at all. I feel lighter somehow, like my life is better just because she is in it again. Alice loved her so much at school, she was devastated when she vanished, she never made any real friends there after Bella went. Mum tried all sorts but she just wanted Bella. I'm going to speak to everyone later when you are all together, I can't keep going through it all time after time, it sounds a little more mental each time I go through it. What do you think are the chances of Mum getting the children back?"

This is my real worry, I understood when Bella said they are all she has. You can see that from just being with her, and the house, their needs are before her own, it's very obvious.

Jasper grimace's at me and shakes his head to and fro, "No telling really. It's different here, the laws are different. But your Mum is really somethin' I would bet pretty high that she'll get at least one. She's a real ball buster when she wants to be. Never seen Emmett so scared as that time she cussed him out for breaking her favourite vase and making a mess on the floor. He ran like his life depended on it!

She said that your Dad will be home in the next couple of days, his movie wrapped up faster than he thought. He wants to see you she said. I expect that's to do with you going AWOL. You are a prick sometimes you know? Alice was crazy with worry for ya, she pulled me out of work to ask me to deal with it! What she imagined I could do from London and you in LA I would love to know. Could you ease up on all the drama though do you think? It isn't doing her any good. I'm going to tell you a secret now so keep it to yourself.

We're having a baby. She's about 9weeks along now, so stress is not her friend, or coffee for that matter. I'm just going with the flow at the moment with what she wants, like that little shopping expedition, but please Edward, help me out a bit. She loves you so much. It hurts her to see you so unhappy."

I just stare at him dumbfounded. I think that's the most I've ever heard him talk in one go, he is usually so quiet and although he is soft spoken he spoke with a quiet determination. I had really hurt them. All of them.

I wipe my face, I didn't realise I was crying, God I'm turning into a girl with all the crying and soul searching shit!

"I'm sorry Jasper. I had no idea how much it affected you all. I've been a selfish sod this past year, even when you were all trying to help me. I just see what you and Alice have, Sam and Emmett. I have been so lonely and lost. But that girl over there? She is like a bright shining star in a black night, so bright I can't look at it for long, she gives me reason. I need her. I need her to want me too, but I think she already does. I don't care about her past, I think those kids are amazing. I want to help her; I don't think she has had anyone to care for her for a long time. I can't describe this need though, it's very strange. Jesus, I sound mad, send me to the funny farm Dr Whitlock, for all our sakes. I'm really happy for you and Alice with the baby. Congratulations. You will both be amazing parents. How you going to deal with Alice's more reckless tendencies? Do you know what she did to my car on the way here?"

I grin slyly at him. He goes very white and shakes his head.

"Oh yeah, I know, we had a little chat about that on the way over here. Jake fessed up. That's why he is having his torture currently. She's pissed at me for not allowing her to drive her Porsche; it's the Audi for her now. She threw a massive tantrum about it, so I threatened her credit cards with destruction. She saw my view though. I had a very nasty delivery three weeks ago, car crash victim, going in excess of 100mph 8mths pregnant. The Mum didn't make it, but the baby was okay after a 2 week stay in the NICU. Stuff like that makes you think real hard."

"Yeah, I imagine it would." I remember my own life story.

"Sorry man, I didn't mean anything by it. But she sometimes needs reining in a little. I can live with her brand of crazy for the most part, but this is not just about her. I have to keep them both safe to the best of my ability, and if that means her being pissy at me then so be it. I would never want to face your Father and give him news like I had to the other week."

"No, I understand Jasper. You did the right thing; she has her own brand of crazy though. Bat shit! I thought you did too when you married her.

How long do you think Bella will be out for now?"

He looked at his watch and back to her.

"Maybe another couple of hours. It wasn't a massive dose of sedative, but she must have been real weak for it to work so fast."

Just then I'm startled by the phone ringing, I search my body for it, where the fuck is it?! I run about the room, then I see Jasper waving it at me.

"Moron!" He laughs at me. I see Sam's name on the display.

"Hey Sam. What's happened?"

"We will be back with you in about an hour Edward. We will have Seth with us, but your Mum will explain everything later. Is Ms Swan alright now?"

"She is still out of it. She had all her belongings thrown out of her house and destroyed. Alice has taken Jake to get her some new things. What about Leah any news on her?" I am really nervous about this, that poor little girl. Bastards.!

"Mrs Cullen will explain later Edward. I can't. Just let Ms Swan know though that it's all going to be fine. See you shortly." He hangs up on me. Fine? It will be fine? Nothing about this whole fucked up situation is fine!

"Mum will be here with Seth in about an hour. Apparently it will all be "Fine". What does that even mean? How can I tell her that her baby girl is not coming back today? God, Jasper what do I do?"

I throw myself back into the chair, and hang my head between my knees. I feel sick.

"It means what Sam said Edward. He doesn't tell lies or half truths. Your Mum has sorted it. Just concentrate on what will happen next. Are you going to stay here?"

"No. I can't stand it, not after all that has happened now. I 'll speak to Mum about staying with her and find a house soon. I do love the countryside though, it's very invigorating."

"And Bella? Are you just going to leave her here?"

"No Jasper. I want her and the children with me. I meant it when I said I _will_ look after her. Even if I just buy them a house, or she stays in my spare rooms, I have to keep her near me, in my life. It's like a drug or something, My own brand of heroin."

I chuckle at that last statement. Jasper's eyes go wide.

"Thank fuck you didn't find that with the real thing, you'd have been gone forever! I need a cup of coffee after all that. Please oblige me Mr Cullen."

"Certainly Dr Whitlock."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimers apply, SM story. Thank you for all the reviews. Makes me very happy to know that others are enjoying this too! Please remember, this is fiction, it happens in my mind. Things get a bit heavy in this one. You have been warned.**

**Chapter 10.**

**EPOV.**

I am so useless.

Bella is still sleeping, Jasper went for a wander in the gardens, and it has been more than an hour since Sam rang. What the hell is going on!? I walk over to the window and bang my forehead on it, the cool of the glass feels nice. I just stand here for a few minutes not really thinking just enjoying the sensation.

Suddenly I hear the door open, I whip round but it's only Jasper. "Oh it's you."

"Well that's an amazingly friendly greeting! You miserable bastard, I think I won't give you my news and shall run off with my beautiful wife and her friends instead, bye now." He turns to leave and what he just said connects to my brain.

"Wife? Alice. They are here? Now? Shall we wake Bella up? When did they get here?"

"Whoa whoa, hold your horses, I can only answer one question at a time. They are here. Just now in fact. And no leave Bella sleeping. Did I get them all?" he chuckles at me.

I smile back at him and give him a friendly punch on the arm. I fidget around waiting. A few moments later I hear them outside the room. Alice is the first in and dives for Jasper and wraps her small arms around him. He sighs and kisses her head.

"Did ya bankrupt me sweethang'? "

I have noticed he drawls his Texan accent out more when speaking to Alice, mm I shall have to quiz him on that! Jake enters the room looking more like a pack horse than a body guard. I count 12 bags!

"Alice what in heavens name did you buy!?"

"Just a few bare essentials Edward, get the stick out of your ass. There are clothes for Bella and the children. Bathroom bits and a few toys. Not much really, the shopping around here is limited. But we did have a lot of fun in House of Fraser didn't we Jake."

Jake actually blushes, I think that is the first time I have seen him do that.

"You sure did Pixie pie. We are even now though aren't we? Please, I can't take another day of shopping with you. I actually wanted to eat my gun, it would have been less painful! Ed, your Mum is here. Where do you want all this stuff Mistress of the shops?"

He smiles a big face splitting smile at Alice who just grins manically at him.

"Just chuck it all on the sofa Jake. I will go through it later, I'm busy."

She returns to sucking Jaspers face, ugh! "Alice please, must you do that in front of me? It makes me feel a little sick you know."

"Oh shut up Edward!"

Jasper laughs and takes her off to the other sofa, they stay cuddled up and kissing. He is very affectionate with her. He loves her just as she deserves to be, just like Bella deserves to be too. I hope she doesn't put up too much protest with my plans for taking care of her, but I seriously doubt it.

My mind is wandering again drowning out Alice and Jaspers low chuckles and kisses when the door opens and Seth comes walking slowly in. He looks so demoralised; he looks nervously about the room, his eyes finally land on his mother asleep in my bed. He just stares at her, then bites his lip and starts full on sobbing.

Shit.

What do I do? Just then my Mum walks in, she really is a God send today, she looks haggard and pale. She goes over to him and hugs him close and talks softly to him.

"It's okay Seth, she is just sleeping, remember? Go on ahead honey its fine. I need to speak to Edward quickly. Good boy."

He wipes his nose and eyes on his jumper sleeves and climbs onto the bed and snuggles up to Bella. He looks lost in that big bed. My mother sighs and walks over to the drinks cupboard, when she turns back she downs a glass of what I can only assume is Gin.

"Edward come with me a moment please darling. We are right in here Seth okay? Jasper is just here and Alice too. We will be a few minutes."

I follow her into Jake and Sam's room. "Do you need me to leave Mrs Cullen?" Jake looks anxiously at her. She shakes her head no. We sit on the sofas in here; Jake stands up, and straightens himself up self consciously.

"Where do I begin Edward? It is all a tragic mess. That poor girl has obviously been through hell for who knows how many years and now I have to make it worse for her."

She blows her nose and rummages around in her handbag, she comes out with a stack of papers, her hand is trembling. Her eyes fill up with tears. Mum is a tough cookie, she hardly ever cries.

Shit."Mum, just tell me. Seth is here, it can't be so bad."

Her eyes meet mine and I can see the sorrow in them, she shakes her head a little and looks down again into her lap.

"I have to take the children with me. I have agreed to foster them for a six month period."

I gasp.

"What? Why? It will destroy her Mum. How could you do that to her? She hasn't done anything wrong!" I am seething. How could my own Mother who said she cared for Bella do this, take her kids away.

"I had no choice Edward. Sit down and listen. The social services already removed Leah and the woman to take Seth arrived not five minutes after you left. Your father and I are still registered foster parents. We stayed on the list after we adopted you. I thank heavens for it too. She was spouting about regulations and fostering when I remembered.

It took me an hour to convince the bloody woman and a phone call to a judge. That disgraceful inspector certainly didn't help matters either. Now, Seth is here, Leah will be brought to my house in two days time. They took her to an institution for deaf children in North London. The paper work to get her out of there is unbelievable; just as well I'm used to bureaucratic bullshit.

Now this is what has to happen, I will leave with Seth in the morning, you I assume are not staying in this hotel after all this?" I shake my head no. I don't think I can actually speak for the moment.

"Good. You will bring Bella up to the house and she will stay there with me and the children. They made no recommendations' that she was to be kept away. She has to provide a stable home and secure financials to get them back. You MUST get her up there Edward, I don't care how. There is nothing here for her any more, Jake told me about her belongings. We can help her. I will help her. I just hope she forgives me for the children. Now, you had better see if she is awake so we can explain what will happen tomorrow. I have explained to Seth. He is a wonderful child, but such an old head on young shoulders. He told me a little of their home life. It is sad and traumatic stuff Edward; I think they will all need therapy too to help deal with this.

Right, you go back in there, I have to call your father." Apparently I have been dismissed. I am sweating all over again. I gather myself together and walk back into my suite.

Jasper and Alice are now standing at the window, Jasper has his arms around her, she is so small she all but disappears in his embrace. Seth is sleeping but it looks as though Bella is starting to wake up. I go and sit next to her, her eyes are fluttering and she is tossing about.

"Bella? Wake up sweet girl. Seth is here with you. Come on honey, wake up for us."

I keep my voice soft so as not to startle her, her eyes fly open suddenly and she backs up the bed quite fast. I hold my hands up in front of me in a surrendering gesture. She looks down and around the room. As her eyes land on Seth, she calms visibly. One hand reaches down to stroke his face. She sighs and turns to look at me. All I can see is sorrow in her brown puddles of chocolate.

"What happened? Is Leah here? How long have I been out of it?"

Crap. How to tell her. This isn't going to go well, I can feel it.

"Would you come for a walk with me Bella? Just up the paths outside, then I will bring you back here for Seth. He hasn't been back long and could use the sleep I think. Jasper? Will you and Alice stay here with him please? Mum is in the other suite. We won't be long. Come on Bella, please? We have a lot to discuss. Just give me an hour that's all then we'll come right back."

She slowly gets up off the bed, she looks nervous and uncomfortable; "Um may I use your bathroom please?" She almost whispers it, I just nod my head and walk over to the door and open it for her.

"I'll just wait right here. Take your time." I give her a small smile and am rewarded with a half smile.

I quickly walk to the other suite to let Mum know where we are going and to get Jake. "We won't be too long Mum. How was Dad? Jake you up for a walk about?"

"He's fine darling. He is totally on board with it all; he will be home in two days. He said it would be great to have little ones around again. Take your time with her Edward, remember what I said."

She gets up and hugs me, I hold her tightly. She pats my back and steps away, I see watery eyes, she walks off to the bathroom. Jake gets behind me and gives me a good slap on the back, I fall forward a little, he chuckles. "So, a little walkies then? Got it. Sam is with Emily so he will check in with us later. Let's go. I will meet you at the front entrance, we are just going to the gardens again I take it?"

He is all business like now; he picks up his gun and checks it before sliding it the holster. I feel a shiver go down my spine, I hate guns, but they have become necessary over the past couple of years, they have a clip of rubber bullets and live ones.

Just in case.

He stalks out of the rooms and out of the door. Bella is waiting at the foot of my bed just staring at Seth. I clear my throat to get her attention; she looks over to me and then looks down, biting her lip and blushing up pink. I hold the door open for her again, "This way Bella. Jake will meet us downstairs. He has to come with me I'm afraid, just in case."

"I understand. Thank you". She passes ahead of me. I want to touch her, reassure her somehow, I tentatively offer my arm, she turns up one side of her mouth in a half smile and carefully takes my arm. I feel the electric pass through me.

"Sorry" she starts to move her arm away, I quickly pull it back, she gasps a little.

"It's fine Bella. It's not you; it was always like this when we touched. I remembered from preschool. I thought I was imagining it. It doesn't hurt, it feels kind of nice."

She surprises me with a chuckle, "Yes it does. I think I recall it from before, but I was so little. It makes me feel safe, this feeling with you, I can't explain it. I must sound crazy. Don't listen to me; I have no idea what I'm talking about. Here you are, the most coveted man in Hollywood, holding me and speaking to me like an equal, I'm just me, nothing really. Nothing special."

She is back to looking at the floor again. I can't have that. How can she feel like nothing?!

"That is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard Bella, and I've lived in LA. Bullshit city. You are not nothing. You are extraordinary. I can't describe the way I have been feeling. It is so odd, it's like you have always been part of my life. Not a stranger. It feels right."

The desk at reception is empty again; does anybody actually work around here? I spot Jake waiting by the entrance. He indicates to the left. We walk that way; he walks behind us a little ways so as not to be too intrusive. I take in a big breath and let it out again. How do I do this?

"Bella, my mother spoke to me a short while ago. Leah is in an institution in North London. They will release her in two days time to my mother."

I feel her sag against me, her eyes bright and pouring tears, I hold her against me a little, Jake catches my eye, I shake my head to his un- asked question. I've got her.

"Sh Bella, it's going to be okay. I promise. Just hear me out please."

I get a small nod.

"Mum has been made foster guardian to both of the children, the social services showed up to take Seth just a few minutes after I left with you. Mum is a registered foster parent so is my Dad. They kept it up after they adopted me. It took a lot of convincing them to let her have Seth and Leah. She's a barrister; I don't think they got to argue for long though.

She wants you to go with her; she wants you to stay up there with them so you can all be together. This is a six month fostering placement, but there were no stipulations against you, so as long as you can provide housing for them and secure finances you get them back.

I'm so sorry Bella, this is my entire fault. If I hadn't taken you to my room this would never have happened. Please let me help make amends, you have to come to London, it's the only way..."

She is shaking against me, rivers trailing down her face, I lead her over to a secluded bench, I push her onto it, Jake keeps his distance, I wrap my arm about her carefully so as not to alarm her, she dives into my chest and bawls. I just hold her and rock her for what seems like hours, eventually the sobs subside, she sits up, her eyes are swollen red, face stained, hair a mess, but still the most beautiful creature I have seen.

"I... I have nothing Edward. No money, no home nothing. They would be better off with your family, they can give them everything I can't Edward. I'm poison, I always have been. This is for the best I think. They will never want for anything. I am _worthless..._ just like they all said. I can't do this Edward..."

I fall to my knees n front of her. "You are the best thing those children have Bella. You are their Mother, They love you. That is what they need most, money and other things are just that, things. Mum only did this to give you a real chance of keeping them. I don't know what has happened to you, for you to be here alone apparently, but this is the only way.

You must come with us to London. I will be leaving too, I can't stay here not after the way they treated you. I'm supposed to be house hunting, I'm moving back here.

See, I'm such a mummy's boy! My life is completely fucked up Bella. All gone to hell in a hand basket. I'm sure you have seen the papers and magazine crap. I messed up, big time. I don't think I really have a job anymore, I'm not sure I want it either. It has all become so pointless.

Mum basically ordered me here to have a break from acting and temptations that are readily available and move home. Dad is a big director and Alice is a set and clothes designer, they work together most of the time, and my Cousin Emmett, he and his wife Rosalie, they do stunts. Emmett also likes to do fitness training; he loves to kill me, regularly. They are my family Bella, maybe not my true blood family, but I love them, and they love me. I would be lost without them.

Those kids really need you. Please say you will come, I know it will be hard, but Mum has no intention of taking over, they are fostered to her in name only. You are their Mum, what you say goes."

She wipes her face on her sleeve; Jake steps up and offers her a hankie. Who knew?! She smiles shyly at him and gives it the biggest blow I think I have ever heard. She offers it back to him, he shakes his head.

"You keep it Ms Swan, I have plenty more."

"I can't believe you carry hankies, what is this 1940?"

"Shut up Ed. Just because you were raised a gentleman doesn't mean you are one! You never know when a beautiful lady may require one. I have some with my phone number on too, for special girls.

Not that you aren't special Ms Swan, I think you are stunning... um... I mean you are really lovely but um...crap. I think I will stop talking now."

He flushes bright pink as I look incredulously at him. Bella shocks me by laughing, a huge in your face belly laugh. It is amazing to hear. It sounds like bells ringing. Beautiful.

When her amusement subsides she rubs her face and looks deep in thought.

"Thank you Jake. You really are something else. I think you may need glasses though if you think I look stunning like this."

He just smiles his big goofy grin.

"No Ma'm. No glasses for me 20/20 vision. You are stunning. I think you would be lethal made up and dressed up though. I can't wait to see that. Ed here may die of a heart attack. All that booze and fags, they going to get ya!"

"Shut up Jake. Go and look busy over there, you're making me miss Garrett."

"Edward, would you tell me a little about what brought you here? I know you said your Mum ordered you, but there must be a reason? Please? I have missed you all, I know we didn't know each other very well, but as you said before, there is something, I feel safe too, like we belong."

I really don't want to go there. I don't want pity or understanding. I just want o forget it. But maybe tit for tat will work, there are some big things in Bella's past, I have a feeling they are what prompted the negative talk about herself earlier. Can you deal Ms Swan?

"Alright, I will make you a deal. I will tell you about the last two years of my fucked up life, if you will tell me a little of yours and agree to come to London to be with the children."

She goes very pale; I think she may throw up. I sit up on the bench next to her.

Very quietly I hear her "What makes you think my life is fucked up?"

"Really Bella? I wasn't born yesterday. The reactions you had to my guys and the cop's, that is not normal, ergo fucked up life somewhere. I don't want to hurt you, maybe we could help each other a little.

I have never told anyone except my therapist the whole story, she thought it would help."

"Fine... I will come to London, but you first...what happened to the golden boy of Hollywood? I won't interrupt or judge, just listen. Can you do the same for me...?"


	11. Chapter 11

"**Disclaimers apply, SM story. Thank you for all the reviews. Please remember, this is fiction, it happens in my mind. Things get a bit heavy in this one. Rape mentioned. You have been warned.**

**Chapter 11.**

**EPOV.**

"I have had a bizarre life Bella. I lost my parents in a car accident when I was two. I was relatively unharmed. I went to live with Esme and Carlisle, she is my Auntie. They adopted me officially when I was eight, I always called them Mum and Dad, they did explain to me a little when I was three and again when Alice was born. I took their surname after they adopted me, but when I hit sixteen I knew that I wanted to be an actor, I try very hard to keep away from them in public, very few people know that I am related to them.

I changed my name legally several years ago; I paid a great deal of money for those forms to be locked away. I use my other name 'Anthony Masen' for acting because I refused to profit from Carlisle's reputation. He is a very renowned director, I wanted to get where I am on my own using my own skills and not because he was.

Finally after so long, almost two years of bit parts, and weird films I made it big with the "Everlasting" series. It was crazy after that, the world went Masen mad, I went from being anonymous to major star over night. I can't go anywhere without two body guards. I got attacked in a toilet two years ago, I had to have stitches, she was so big and incredibly strong, I was seriously almost raped, I mean who hears about this shit? Man raped, it was awful. I never use public bathrooms now unless my guards are with me.

I'm ashamed to admit I let the fame go to my head a little, I had meaningless dates and one night stands, a few relationships, but they were only interested in my money and fame for themselves. I think the only 'real' people I met are the film crews and various techs. I have become a commodity, how do I tell the difference between those who want to know me and be my friend, or those who want a piece of me and profit for themselves. It's an illusion Bella, the only people I can really trust are my family and my true friends, and believe me after six years in this business there aren't many of those. I want a real life, I want the whole marriage, babies all of it, hell I want a dog, roots, a home.

Two years ago I met Tanya. I was at a wrap party and she bumped into me, she ruined my Gucci shirt, her cosmopolitan had spilt all over me, she was very busy wiping it off before she realise who she was rubbing. She seemed mortified and shocked. She was very humble and shy, it was endearing, a real change from girls who throw themselves at me and give my crotch a quick feel. I felt like an object a lot of the time. She didn't seem to do that, that night I spent a couple of hours in her company, we exchanged numbers.

A few days later I took her on a date; it was sweet and managed to be private. After a month we made love, it was quite different to what I expected; she was a completely different person in the bedroom, demanding and very dominant. I can't lie and say it wasn't hot.

We carried on for several months, gradually she seemed to change, she became jealous whenever my picture was taken with someone that wasn't her, she started going through my phone, email and questioning my friends about where I had been and who with, it was dreadful when I was doing film promotions, she would suddenly pop out of nowhere.

Once she came to the premiere of "Everlasting Sunset", she had told me she was too sick to come, she had flu. I really wasn't that unhappy, she had started to feel really clingy and suffocating. I took Emily instead my agent, just as I got out of the car Tanya arrived, she was livid, accused me of cheating on her, she made a bit of a scene and eventually it calmed down, to placate her I walked the carpet with her. I didn't know what to do for the best really, Emily was furious, said how she was making me the laughing stock of town and she was no good for me; I wouldn't listen. I loved her. Later that night Tanya really lost it, she would go crazy sometimes, Jake had to step in. I had to get treatment for a broken nose that time. The paps went nuts, said it was a jealous boyfriend form one of my previous one nighters, I never told the truth, I was beaten by my girlfriend.

I hoped it would get better, she was okay for a while, I believed I loved her, but something always held me back in my mind, I never told her my real name. In two years she didn't know me. I can't explain why, Alice says she was a massive bitch to everyone when I wasn't around, really awful and patronizing flaunting that she was my girlfriend and if they wanted to keep their jobs they must do what she wants.

I never knew, Alice told me but I refused to believe her."

I slide down to the floor, Bella is silent and just staring at me, she has tears running down her face.

Jake walks around the bench and sits down, he knows most of this having been there, Bella shifts uncomfortably and subtly moves away from him a few inches, he shakes his head at her and sighs. "I know I'm a big lug Miss Swan, but seriously you are wounding me, I wouldn't hurt a fly let alone a beautiful girl like you. My Mother brought me up right; boys must NEVER hurt girls no matter what. Ed there, he got that same lesson, even after the way that cu... Sorry witch, behaved he never hurt her; he barely raised his voice to her. We won't hurt you; we would like to help you. I for one have had enough of Ed's life story for the moment; it gets worse, trust me. Can you tell us a little about you? What took you away from Alice when you were little? Have you still got that hanky handy? I think king sissy pants down there needs it. Give me your man card Edward, you have lost it for the rest of the day."

Bella breaks out laughing at that, I too chuckle. "Asshole. I'm not a sissy. Who took your ass down twice in training the other day" He bends over his knees laughing, he is cackling wildly, "It's not funny. What the hell are you laughing for? Twice I threw you to the floor. Sam was there, he can back me up!"

"Edward, you didn't throw me, I let you! You have to win sometimes, keeps you positive, you really only know how to film fight, I wouldn't let you out in a real fight ever! You kill me you really do... stop making me laugh it hurts...!"

Bastard!

I can feel the blush creep up my face, I'll have to get Emmett to give me some real tips, I'll show him, we'll see who's the sissy pants! Bella is still giggling, she wipes her eyes from laughter, it makes me feel good to see her laughing. She catches my eye and stops, almost sobering up immediately, she cowers again on the bench. I sigh and heave myself off the floor. Sitting next to her leaving a little gap, I think about how to get her to open up a little, it would help to know why she would think giving her kids away would be the right thing to do. Who thinks like that?

"Bella...you don't have to tell me anything, but it would help a bit if you could trust me a little. Why did you want Mum to keep the children? How could you possibly consider for a moment that they would be better without you?"

She glares at me; I'm a little taken aback, as her attitude so far has been shrinking, and subservient.

"I told you Edward. I have nothing to give them except my love. I said I'm going with them to London, but Christ knows what I'm going to do there. I hope your Mum can put in some good words for me at a few of the hotels around, I don't think Mr Newton will give me the most glowing references. I'm sure I will find something. I had better get our things together. Excuse me."

She gets up off the bench and strides off before I can process what she said. Job? Hotel? What the fuck? She isn't going to work at some shitty hotel. Oh my God, she's going to her cottage, she doesn't know what happened.

I jump off the seat and run..."Bella wait! Jake, catch her up hurry..." He blows past me; just as we round the corner I can hear her screams and the chatter and shouts. What is that?

"Anthony can you tell us why you are here? "

"Have you had a nervous breakdown?"

"Who's the girl Anthony?"

"Come on Masen look this way"

"Word is you are out of a job with Volturi, is that right?"

"Give us a statement..."

Holy crap! Someone talked. I will kill them. Jake starts pushing reporters out of my way, I spot Bella at the entrance to her cottage, she is frozen to the spot. I move out of the crush towards her. "No comment. Get away from me."

I push Bella inside with my hand to the small of her back; I love that tingle feeling, more than I should.

"That's it. Move away now. You know the rules. How did you even get in here anyway?" Jake is mad. I hear a pap mumble something to him. "WHAT?! Get out all of you." He barges the door behind me and I'm sent flying, I land in a dishevelled heap.

"Thanks Jake. Really appreciate it." Bella is just shaking and staring at the mess that was her home. Jake pulls me to my feet.

"Quit bitching. I need to get someone out here. Take her upstairs, they can see in the windows. Now Edward."

He pulls out his phone and walks back to the door, he locks it, and then stalks off to the kitchen, I can over hear some of what he hisses into the phone.

"We have a breach. Call G. He needs to get his ass here ASAP. How far out are you? Well that will have to do...no not alone. I will explain later. Yep around the side form the entrance. Will do. No I got it."

I gesture Bella upstairs, she walks slowly I can see her shoulders tears are coming...

I follow her to the children's room. That too is a mess; sheets ripped clothes strewn all over the place. Alice wasn't kidding. She gathers up some of the clothes, and holds them to her face, she smells them and let's go the most heart wrenching scream I have ever heard. She throws the clothes down and grabs the bedding yanking it off, she chucks that, I dodge away, I don't think it's aimed at me really just sheer rage and sadness. She continues throwing and screaming she pulls the mattress off the bed and hurls that to the floor too. She finally collapses on the heap and just sobs. I push away from the wall, and gingerly sit beside her; I open my arms for her she burrows into them. I just hold her close, stroking her hair.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I don't know what else to say..."

I hear Jake come in. "What the hell happened in here? It didn't look this bad earlier."

"Bella got upset Jake. She's okay now. What is happening with the scumbags outside?"

"Not enough if you ask me. They were tipped off this afternoon, and mysteriously let into the hotel grounds. Your lawyer should have a field day; every member of staff signed a NDA. The shit is going to hit the fan. Sam and Emily are on their way back and Garrett should be here in a couple of hours. We have to sit tight and wait for Sam, there must be thirty paps out there, it isn't safe to move you just at the moment. Sorry Ms Swan for invading your space like this. We'll get you out though don't worry. Seth is still sleeping and Esme is with him. Do you have any tea or coffee in here? Can I get you a drink?"

She nods her head, "Thankyou Jacob. In the kitchen, there should be some tea. That would be great. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help." He trundles off downstairs; Bella pulls herself up and starts pottering about the room picking up the mess. "Leave it Bella, from what I can see it's all ruined anyway. Talk to me..."

"I don't know what came over me Edward. I just felt so angry all their things are spoiled. They are just children. Its Newton's fault, he must have given the orders. What shall I do now? I can't replace all this stuff..." I jump up and pull the bits from her hands. "Don't worry about it Bella, Alice bought a few bits for the children and you whilst you were sleeping. She was very upset when she saw what had happened to your things, a spot of retail therapy always cheers her up. We got the toys earlier before we came to the station, they are in the Volvo."

She stares at me, I see a few emotions cross her face, her hands curl up into fists at her side, uh oh...

"I'm not a charity case Edward. Who decided that it was okay for Alice to buy things for me? I can't pay it back, I hope she kept the receipts, you can't just throw money at everything and hope it makes it all better it doesn't! Just... ugh...what is it you want me to do in return then?"

"Pardon me?"

What the hell does that mean? I think she is about to lose her shit, she goes very red in the face and mumbles something at me.

"I don't understand Bella, what do you mean?"

"No one give something for nothing. What do you want me to do?"

I still don't really understand. "Nothing Bella. Alice saw what happened to your things and wanted to help make it better, that is all. I don't want anything in return; I want to be your friend, if you'll let me. I could do with a few more friends. We just want what is best for you and the children. Do you know I saw you in the garden the other day when I arrived, as I was looking at you, I realised there was something about you, I wanted to see you, speak to you without even knowing you, what does that mean? I thought I had lost my mind. I see you Bella, I see the baggage you are dragging around with you and for some inexplicable reason I want to rescue you. Not from charity, pity or any other self depreciating reason you can think of just because it is you, something draws me to you like no other feeling I have ever experienced before. I'm asking you to trust me. I won't hurt you or let you be hurt."

She has a glazed look on her face, she shakes her head as if to dispel a haze and very quietly I hear her "You shouldn't want me to be your friend Edward. I'm just not good for you. I'm sorry, it's not you it's me, everything I touch turns to poison, the only good thing I have done is bear and raise my children, but now I can't even do that. I'm not worth the effort Edward. You should go, I'll find a way to London if you let me have your Mother's details I can contact her when I get there so I can see the children..."she breaks off with a sob at the end, what has happened to her, why won't she just tell me, something, anything.

This won't do, I can't allow it.

"No Bella. You are coming with us in the morning. I refuse to leave without you, so whether by your own consent or stealthy means you are not staying here alone. I can always have Jasper drug you unconscious again." I wiggle my eyebrows at her to let her know I'm kidding, her mouth pulls up at the side a little and she nods her head. "Good. I really wouldn't want to explain shoving a knocked out woman into my car with that pack of hyenas out there. They would make mincemeat of me!"

"Edward, I can't have pictures of me in the papers. It would be _really_ bad. If he finds me again..." "Who Bella? Who are you talking about?" Maybe finally we will get somewhere. "My ex husband. He is dangerous Edward; if he finds me he will kill me this time. I can't have my photos out in public or the children; I have to get out of here without being seen. It's probably too late already."

"What the fuck Bella? Is he mafia is that why he you think he's after you?"

"Oh Edward. No nothing like that. When I left London when I was small, it was because my Father had been killed and my Mother made us leave so she could sort out his estate. Dad used to work for the Duke of Avon; he owned this hotel for years. Dad was his gamekeeper, there was an accident with one of the pheasant shoots and he died.

Mum started work at the main house as a housemaid, I went to school the following year, Mum met someone whilst she was working here, he was a Viscount fifteen years older than her. She persuaded him that she was in love with him, so after one of his frequent visits we went with him. The Duke was angry with Renee, mum, he had promised my dad he would look after me, I guess dad knew what she was really like. We stayed with the Viscount, Sylvester for two years then Renee met someone else, do you see a pattern?This continued until I was sixteen, I was just starting sixth form when I met James.

Typical cocky seventeen year old, most popular student straight A's I couldn't believe it when he asked me to the prom. We were together for a year on and off when I got pregnant with Seth, I was seventeen then. Mum and his dad insisted we married, I left school and we lived in a house that his parents bought for us. Things were fine for a while, James got a good apprenticeship with a local law firm, we lived in Manchester by then. I was expected to stay at home and mind the baby. When Seth turned one I started an online learning programme, I finished when he was three, I have a BA in English language. James was furious with me, my degree was better than his, I tried to explain that I wanted to write, maybe become an author, he really hated it.

That was the first time he hit me. It wasn't too bad I suppose..."

Oh God. I don't think I want to hear all this, I'm sure it gets worse."Bella you don't have to..."

She interrupts quickly "I have to get some of this out; you have to understand why I can't just up and walk out that door with you. I didn't leave him, I had no home and no money he said what they all say, it won't happen again blah blah. I didn't really believe him. It was okay for another year, he got promoted at work and went to lots of functions, I went with him once, it was an important one, I hired a babysitter for Seth and he bought me a nice dress from Next, it wasn't quite my style, short length, low v-neck cut silver, I didn't like it too much, it made me uncomfortable with that much flesh on show. Some of the law partners danced with me and chatted it was good, I was able to use my brain and be equal instead of Mummy and wife. As the evening wore on James got drunker, he pulled me away from one man, accused me of flirting.

He dragged me home paid off the babysitter then really let me have it. I had broken ribs and fingers' a cracked jawbone and bruised kidneys, he raped me too, to make sure I knew my place.

His.

I got pregnant with Leah from that time, the doctor at hospital said it was because he had been so rough he had dislodged my coil, I went to the hospital a couple of days later you see, I thought I wasn't hurt so bad. I dropped Seth one time; I just couldn't hold him because of the pain. I called a taxi and went in, they saw the damage to the coil in an x-ray, but it was too late for the morning after pill by then. I pressed charges against him and they got me and Seth a place in a women's shelter.

I found a job at the local library, Seth was allowed to stay with me, it was going good for a while, I found out about Leah when I was eleven weeks along, I didn't know what to do. The ladies at the library were wonderful; they managed to find us a place nearby that I could afford. James found us eight weeks later, he followed us home, I refused to let him in or see Seth, he was violent. He managed to get a court order two weeks later; I had no choice by then.

He realised I was pregnant the second time he came to collect Seth, at twenty-four weeks I couldn't hide it any more, he was angry with me but begged for us to return home to be a "proper family" again, I couldn't do it. He left but came back every three days to see Seth and beg, the last time he had a friend with him, a partner form work. He specialised in custody cases, he was smarmy, creepy looking and gave me chills, something about his eyes that made me really un-easy.

The next evening they came back, he had always come in the day before, it was six in the evening, I saw them both at the door, I sent Seth to his room and went to speak to them. I woke up spread eagled on the floor, there were two different men sitting on my arms, I was in my under wear, James came and sat on my chest and spat on me, he told me I was a whore, carrying a whores spawn, he said I was dirty and stripped me naked with a kitchen knife, he wasn't careful; I have scars on me. He was marking me as a whore and making sure that if I survived no one would want me after he had finished with me.

They took turns with me, five men in total each one more brutal than the last; they left me there to die. I had passed out from the pain, I woke to Seth just screaming, he managed to get help for me, they told me he called 999 but didn't say much except crying for me. I had Leah that night, they did so much damage I had an abruption, she was born at 27weeks. That is why she is deaf, amongst other things, it was my fault, I let him in, I virtually invited it, I couldn't afford a lawyer after he hurt me before, he was let out with a caution. I deserved it Edward, Seth had to spend a month in a care home until I was fit to look after him, I can't even begin to imagine what this has done to Leah... I didn't know that Seth had seen some of the things they did to me... he still has nightmares, that's why he was so violent with you and Jacob the other day.

I don't trust men, I hate to be touched... it is better with you I can't explain it either. If James sees those pictures he will come for me Edward, he wants Seth.

He can't have him. He's mine."

* * *

Holy fucking hell.

I can't think. I get up and pace around the room, what do I do? No wonder she went ape shit this morning at the station, I think that there is more to tell, but I don't think she or I can take any more right now. How do I get her out of here? I will keep her safe, Jesus wept it's a tragic life. Poor girl, when I think of the life Alice and I have had whilst she has suffered. Where in God's name is her mother? She is quite silent, in too much shock to cry any more I think, I hear a sound and spot Jake in the stair well, looking at his face I know he has heard her harrowing tale. He has tear stains on his face, he is pale and furious, he starts to step towards me but I give him a small shake no. He stops and goes back down, I turn back to Bella, she is trembling, whisper quiet I say to her

"Okay sweet girl. I'm not going to ask for any more now. I have to speak with Jacob to try and get us out of here. Just stay and rest for a few minutes, I'll be back shortly. I'm not leaving you. Ever. If I can help it."

She doesn't even blink, shock. I pull up one of the blankets strewn on the floor and carefully wrap it around her. I step quickly from the room and find Jake in the kitchen.

He is shaking whilst drinking something. "What's that you've got there?"

"Cold coffee. I couldn't find any real drinks. She has seriously got nothing. I made you a hot one but that was a while ago, I didn't mean to eavesdrop but couldn't help but overhear. That poor girl. Those poor kids having a monster like that for a father, I can't even think of bad enough names for him, Christ when I think what I thought of her when we first met her...

I couldn't see what you wanted with her, but I really do now. She just looks so innocent, all that pale skin and big brown eyes, how could anyone hurt her like that especially her husband. He is supposed to protect her and cherish her...if I ever get my hand on that fucker or his friends I will personally take pleasure in ripping his arms, legs and dick of, maybe cut it off with rusty spoon...Fuck! I'm so angry Ed; I don't know what to do with myself..."

I pat him on the shoulder and take my cold coffee, bleugh... "I know Jake. We need to get out of here now, she is in shock I think, she needs Seth and I want Jasper to just check her over. How we doing this?"

Business, that's how we think, it's the most comfortable, routine...

"We're waiting on Sam and Garrett thought he should be down soon, I was planning to push on through that lot, but not now, she won't handle it at all. We could put a coat over her head but it would most likely get pulled off in the scuffle, the only way I see it is out the window out here, look, see? She can get through that no problem, if we get Sam to wait there for her whilst we go out the front, hopefully he can run her round before they notice, what do you think?" I sigh, it's a good plan, the problem is Bella. Obviously her no touching is going to be a problem.

"It's a great plan Jake. I need to speak to Bella though, she wasn't responding a while ago though, I'm not sure how she'll take it. Can you see how long Garrett will be? The paps won't like him, at all. Might make them back off a little bit. I need to call Jasper, let me know."

I go through to the lounge, it's a damn mess in here too, what the hell for? I grab my phone and dial Jasper he is pretty quick on answering, "Yeah?" His Texan charm always makes me chuckle. "Hey Jas, I'm sorry we have been so long, we ran into a problem out here. Paps all over the bloody place, we are hiding in Bella's cottage. Jake is waiting for Sam and Garrett before we go out there. Listen, Bella told me a lot about her previous life... she seems to have gone into shock since though, Christ it is worse than awful man, I can't speak to you about it right now, can you check her when she comes in? You need to be really careful though, she hates to be touched by men, that is what we saw this morning. Just make sure she is okay please, how is Seth?"

"Fuck Edward. He is okay; he's chatting with Pix and going through the new stuff she got. How are you getting out if the paps are crawlin?"

"That is why we need Sam; he will take Bella out the back window, whilst I go out front with Jake and Garrett. I've got to go explain to Bella about that, she's like a zombie Jas, will she understand me?" I hear him swear at something, then puff out breath like he's thinking, "I didn't major in psyche Edward, I don't know how she will react. Just tell her and then move her, we'll sort it out when you get in, maybe being with Seth will keep her calm, or I could get Alice or your Mum to look at her using me as guidance, don't sweat it just get here as fast as ya hear me?"

"Got it. Thanks bro. See you shortly."

I hang up and trundle upstairs. Bugger and shit. She's sleeping. Fuck. I wrap her up in the blanket a bit more and pick her up, she doesn't stir in my arms, I really need to do more bench pressing, I go down to the lounge and lay her on the sofa, Jake finds me there just watching, I blush a little at having been caught. He clears his throat. "5 minutes Ed." I nod and resume my vigil. I hear the clamouring press outside and sigh, Garrett must be here. I spot Jake darting to the window and see Sam's tall figure outside, I gather Bella up again and stride over to them.

"Be careful Sam. Take her straight to Jasper, if she wakes run like hell because she'll scream, she doesn't like to be touched by men okay?. We'll meet you up there. I want you to get another room key from that asshole manager, Bella and Seth need a room for the night, same floor don't take no for an answer and don't tell him who it's for. Go now. Hurry."

I pass Bella like an awkward parcel she still doesn't move, I'm worried about that, perhaps it's some residual effects from the shot that Jasper gave her. I hear a bang at the door. Showtime.

Jake opens it fast, I step out to blinding flashes and clamouring noise, I hate this, I feel jake pushing me forward and am grabbed by Garrett, he is a monster at 6'7 ft. I smile up at him, "Hey Garrett, miss me?"

He pulls my arm shoving photographers out of his way, they sort of part like the red sea before him.

"No Edward, what the fuck have you gotten into now?"

Well...


	12. Chapter 12

"**Disclaimers apply, SM story. Thank you for all the reviews. Please remember, this is fiction, it happens in my mind. **

**Chapter 12.**

**BPOV.**

I feel so warm and cosy, that is an odd feeling in itself, I hardly ever feel warm, it's almost like floating, I am awake but not awake, I can smell lavender and sandal wood, it's the same as the laundry detergent I use at work, it confuses me...my washing never smells this clean and fresh, how weird.

I can hear voices, slightly raised

"_I don't know...I can't describe it really...yes I'm aware of that...I told you..."_

Huh, I recognise the voice but can't seem to care at the moment, I let myself drift again.

"Mum? Mummy? You need to wake up now, we're waiting for you."

I can feel small hands on my face gently stroking and another rubbing my arm, I slowly open my eyes and see Seth gazing down at me, it's quite dark in the room, I smile at my darling boy, I love him so much. "Hey sweetheart, what time is it? Is Leah awake yet?" He looks down at the bed, I follow his gaze.

That's not my bed! Where the bloody hell am I?

I sit up quickly and really wish I hadn't, I feel very dizzy and Seth's face swims before me, I feel him jump off the bed shrieking "Jasper" as he goes, who? I feel my stomach cramp up a little, oh that really hurts, please no, that's the last thing I need, a light headed feeling comes upon me uh oh, I feel sick, I am going to be sick, I fall off the bed and get unsteadily to my feet and clamped over my mouth, where the fuck is the bathroom?!

Too late.

I vomit spectacularly on the floor just as the door swings wide open, I'm still heaving and sink to my knees, I feel someone pull my hair out of the way and a few seconds later a basin appears in front of my face. I don't much care who is with me, I feel hands lifting me back on to the bed and a warm hand rubbing soothing circles on my back, it feels so nice, caring. Finally I think my stomach lining has stopped trying to make an appearance from my mouth, I push the basin away, a hand darts out and takes it, I sit up straighter and take a good look around me.

Edward is next to me still holding my hair, Alice is behind me still rubbing and a blond haired man is standing a few feet away from me, he is very good looking, tall and has honey blond hair and a kind face, he is quite lean looking but powerful too, Seth is rooted in the doorway with a Caramel haired woman. She is beautiful, heart shaped face soft curls everything about her screams "mother" I look hard at her, she is very familiar... Mrs Cullen. She has she has her hands on Seth's shoulders giving him soothing strokes, it hits me... Jesus Christ...yesterday really happened... Leah taken, Seth and I in the police cells...Edward came, my cottage trashed... and Seth has to live with Mrs Cullen...oh God what am I going to do?...I hear a strangling noise, it sounds like a wounded animal, who is that? Oh...

It's me.

I push Edward away from me and stumble over to Seth; I grab him and pull him to me so tight, I can't let him go...what the hell was I thinking? Demanding Edward's family care for them without me, thinking they would be better without me, stupid girl! "I'm so sorry Seth. I don't know how to fix all this but we will. Together. I love you, so much. It will all be okay, I promise you. Mrs Cullen, thank you for what you did yesterday, I'm sorry for not thanking you properly earlier. I just..."

"Nonsense Bella. You have nothing to thank me for, I only wish I could have done more for you, and it's Esme. You're a grown up now. You are so beautiful, I remember you like it was yesterday, all pigtails and shy smiles, where does time go? Now then, this is Jasper Whitlock, he is Alice's husband. He is a doctor and he would like to talk to you a little, he had to sedate you pretty heavily yesterday for your own safety you understand? Is that alright? I can stay with you if you prefer or..."

"Alice, please. Is that okay with you?" She nods her head; I think she looks a little like the nodding dogs in the cars. I glance across to Edward; he catches my eye and smiles a lopsided grin. Dear God, how can he smile at me like that, no wonder he is a success in Hollywood, I imagine all his has to do is smile like that and parts fall in his lap. What the hell am I talking about, Seth. Priority. "Seth sweetie, can you go with Mrs Cullen for a little bit? I will be out shortly." He raises his head sadly and follows Esme out.

I become aware of the smell in here, eugh, the cleaners and Lauren will not like that, just as I'm about to ask where Jasper would like to go Edward gets up and crosses to me, he stops a small distance away, a frown creases his face and he pulls his hands through his disarrayed hair. "Um... Bella please feel free to use my suite, I have to go down to sort out the travel arrangements with Sam and Jake. Please take as long as you need, there's no rush. Jasper, please keep in mind what we discussed, Alice? Try and control yourself, she is not a Barbie doll." He strolls out of the room leaving me perplexed, Barbie? Me? Alice is virtually bouncing on the bed; she really hasn't changed much over the years, same exuberance, mad hair, pixie!

I hear a throat clear, Jasper, right; this shouldn't be too awkward at all! I take a shy glance up at him, he is smiling, his face looks genuinely serene, I can detect no irritation or anger there, he reminds me a little of James, same blond hair and blue eyes, but looking at him closer I see his hair is a much more golden blond, it is a little long and curls a bit too, he lifts an eyebrow at me, I realise I have been staring at him, I feel my face flush up all the way to the tops of my roots, bugger.

"Um ... sorry, you reminded me a little of someone, I didn't mean to be rude and stare at you." I am mumbling, what an idiot, blathering on, he gives a low chuckle and with the most amazing accent he talks quietly to me "That's fine darlin', you go ahead and stare away, I love beautiful women gazing at me, no, I am not modest either, I know what I look like, but I have my Pixie Pie! You coming, sweets?" Alice giggles madly and bounces off the bed, she grabs my elbow, I can see love and adoration all over her face as she gazes at Jasper, he give her a really breath taking smile, she giggles again and says nothing but just drags me out the door and round the corner to Edward's suite.

I hesitate at the door a little; will there be anyone else here? Jasper opens the door wide and gestures us through "After you, ladies" I smile, chivalry isn't dead then. "Um... where shall I go, what do you need me to do Dr Whitlock?"

I feel sick again, I don't want him to touch me.

I don't believe he will hurt me, but I just don't, I can feel my breathing speed up, spots start to appear in front of my eyes, I can vaguely hear my name being called and quiet talking it sounds nice, calming, I hear it getting louder clearer "...just take slow deep breaths, you're okay, safe, slow breaths, in, out, and again, there you go, hello. Okay? Look at me Bella, you're safe here, Alice is here too, that's it well done. Alice, can you come sit here with her, I'm just going to get you a drink okay darlin'?" I nod. What kind of sodding fruit cake have I turned into, it never used to be this bad, Alice grabs my hand and squeezes it tight, her face is pale and concerned.

"I'm sorry Alice. I hate for you to see me like this, God what must you think of me..."

"Ssh, no one thinks anything much Bella. I'm so happy to have found you again! My best friend. I know we were little but I missed you so much. We never forgot you, I pestered Mum for months to find you, she tried, it was like you dropped off the face of the earth. Even Edward wanted to find you; even then it was like he had to be with you. I have never seen him like this, he is usually so focused on work and then all that business with that bitch troll. He got so lost you know? We wanted to help him so much, it was like he wanted to destroy himself, he cared nothing for us, he was this other person. He broke down the other week and disappeared, Mum was frantic, then when he turned up she ordered him here.

He needs his family to get better, but then he found you, and he seems to have a purpose again. He is so protective of you Bella, he was wild with worry yesterday when he found you had been arrested, and last night at your house, I have never seen him so angry, or the guys, but now it feels so right, you were meant to be with us Bella, the sister I never had. Oh I have missed you so!" She grabs me into a bone crunching hug, I give my brain time to catch up with her word vomit, I chuckle a little, same old Alice, speaks at 90mph when excited.

"Alice, I need to breathe..."

"Sorry! I forget my own strength sometimes."

"Well ladies, I trust you have had a little catch up? Bella, here drink this, it will help. You too Alice, you need to keep your fluids up." I turn to look at Alice and lift my eyebrow, she shakes her head a little and smiles, I drink the water Jasper gave me, its ice cold, lovely.

"Right Bella, I think we got off on the wrong foot there, I wanted to chat with you a little and take your blood pressure if that's okay? If at anytime you feel a panic attack coming again just tell me to stop and I will, immediately. Alice can hold your hand the whole time, can't you darlin'?" She nods again and squeezes my hand.

"Okay, but please don't touch me yet, I don't really like it, I um...I don't know...look Dr..."

"Uh uh, sweets, its Jasper, none of this doctor crap. I know about the touching, Edward told me..." WHAT?! He told everyone about me, of fucking hell, they will think I was some teenage slut and all the things James called me.

"He told you? Oh God, what must you all think of me, I should just go, I'm sorry, please just...I can't..."

I have to get out of here, I can't breathe. Alice's hand pulls me tight to her, I sit again, my chest feels tight..."Bella! Stop. Just slow breaths, please. You're fine. Jasper just meant Edward told him you don't like to be touched and that is all. He didn't say anything else. I know some bad things have happened to you though, it is so obvious to us who can see, I remember you how you were, and it was not like this. You were never this nervous drab of a girl, where's my spunky smart mouthed bestie gone to? Jasper is my husband Bella. I love him. He will not hurt you. Ever. Now sit up and find those balls I know you have!"

Wow.

Where did shy little Alice Cullen go to? Jasper looks uncomfortable; he scowls at her and crouches down "Alice, I don't think Bella needs to hear that..." I stop him there. I do. I need to sort myself out.

"No Jasper. She is right. I'm sorry. I know in my heart you won't hurt me. My head though acts before I can do much about it. I'm a basket case really. So messed up. I understand you need to touch me a little and I will try not to freak out, but I probably will. Alice, what the hell happened to you? You would never say boo to a goose?!"

"I grew up. Edward couldn't always be there to protect me, and when you meet Emmett, our cousin you will understand better. Plus you get balls from Hollywood, it really is cut throat, "Kill, or be killed".

I laugh at her, "You're so dramatic Alice, don't ever change will you. Right, Jasper, let's get this over with please." I smile at him and he pulls up a chair from the desk and places it front of me. He takes his jacket off and chucks it on the sofa then comes to sit before me; he crosses his legs over and places his hands in his lap.

"Ok darlin', now you know that whatever you should choose to say to me is confidential right?" I nod. "Ok, Alice will not speak of anything we discuss either. Alrighty then, I am an Obstetrician and Gynaecologist by trade, but I do have a degree in psychology. Now what I witnessed yesterday and just now are panic attacks, they clearly range in severity, have you had them before?"

"Yes, but not for a while." I speak quietly, they embarrass me, they make me feel inadequate and very vulnerable. I am ashamed of them.

"Ok, I gather that touch from men trigger them, is that all men or just unknowns such as myself and Sam? What about Edward, does his touch bother you?" I feel tears slipping down my face, I use my sleeve and wipe them away, Alice squeezes my hand harder. "Almost all men. Poor Sam, he just caught my elbow the other day, I understand why, but it completely threw me, I wasn't expecting it at all. Handshakes I can cope with generally speaking, but that was out of the blue.

Edward is different.

I feel warm sparks like static when I touch him, it doesn't feel scary or wrong it feels...natural...like it should be. I feel calm with him, safe. I don't know really, you must think I'm crazy."

He scoffs. "Bella, I'm no shrink, but you are definitely not crazy. I think you have had a very traumatic past, and I believe you are lonely? It isn't my job to diagnose you; I just thought it may benefit you to talk a little about it. Do you use medication for your panic attacks?"

Lonely? You have no idea.

"No. I haven't spoken to the doctor about it, I don't like to, I hate thinking about them, the only reason I'm even talking to you about it is you have seen it, and you haven't made fun of me. I don't take any medication, I can't afford to either." He huffs a little and fidgets, his phone beeps just then, he fishes it out of his pocket, and a chuckle leaves his lips, he types a message back and pockets the phone. "Edward. Checking up on you, wants to know if you are okay and I haven't upset you, 'cause that's my balls, apparently! Now, yesterday I had to give you a sedative at the station, you were so deep in an attack there was no other choice, it wasn't a heavy dose but it conked you out for quite a while, have you been getting much sleep Bella? Do you feel unusually tired, any depression?"

"Are you kidding me?

I work, worked, 40hours a week, I occasionally got Saturdays off, you want to know how fucking shit my life is? You got it, I have Seth, he is 6, he starts back at school this week, I have Leah, she's 3 and profoundly deaf, she lip reads and signs, she was born 13 weeks premature, she also has occasional fits and developmental issues. We live in a cottage that has no indoor toilet, no washing machine and 2 beds, the kids share. We live on pasta and tinned foods; they eat fresh fruit and veg when I can afford to buy it!

I wash all our clothes by hand because Mike demands that I pay if I use the machines at work, I mostly get to bed around 1.30am and get up at 5am so to be at work for 6am. I have £60 a week to spend on my piece of shit car, food and clothing, I buy from charity shops, I use value foods, my kids make do with what little they have and at Christmas they get 2 gifts, one from me and one from Father Christmas, I have no family, I have a mother somewhere who is on her god knows which husband, I haven't seen her since Seth was 18mths old.

My Father is dead, he was killed in an accident near here when I was 4, my ex husband is an abusive shit and after raping and beating me along with four other friends they left me for dead, Seth had been hiding and found me, he managed to get me help. I was pregnant with Leah at the time; Seth spent a month away from me and had nightmares for so long. I have changed our names so many times to hide from James, I told Edward, if he finds us he will kill me this time, he wants Seth. I have no friends, no money and now no job.

I am about as fucked up as you can get, so maybe I am a little tired and probably a lot depressed, but the whole point is Jasper, no one gives a flying FUCK about me and my issues. They are what they are and I have to deal with them and do the best I can for my kids, and right now I have failed them. Leah was taken away because I am an unfit parent and Seth was heading that way too, but now Esme is fostering them, who knows what is going to happen now, I certainly don't. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and here you all are trying to help me, well Jasper, I don't think you can. I think that ship sailed long ago. Does that answer your question?"

He is staring at me, mouth agape. Stunned I think. Alice is crying beside me, I am pouring with tears.

I can't believe I said all that to them.

Jasper a complete stranger, they look so hurt. What have I done? Shit, I feel my stomach roll and begin to heave again, "Excuse me." I run to the bathroom, and hurl. At least I made it this time, a short time later I feel better, I turn to the sink and look at myself, Jesus, is that really me? Red faced, blotchy and chubby faced too, how can Edward stand to look at me. I splash water on my face and dry it on the soft towels. I take a long sniff, mm, Lilac, honey and something spicy, Edward. My whole body responds I tingle all over at that smell.

Amazing.

A soft knock sounds, "Bella? Are you okay in there?" I sigh and pull my sleeves down, I open the door to a still tearful Alice, as I come through the doorway she throws herself into my arms, I feel the breath huff out of me and I stumble backwards a little.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I'm sorry you went through that all alone. But, we are here now and we love you, I love you, and I know your children will be so wonderful, how could they not with a Mum like you. So caring and selfless. We will not let you suffer anymore Bella, you are stuck with us I'm afraid. Now my Jazzy just wants to finish up then you are getting in that shower. We have 2 hours until it's time to go, I have to pack! Come on, he won't bite. _Unless you ask him to!_ "

She pulls me into the room; I think I'm a little shocked! Jasper has a pale blush going on, I guess he heard her not too subtle whisper; I take my seat again in front of him. "I'm sorry for flying off the handle like that at you Jasper. I'm ready to continue now."

He smiles at me, "its fine darlin'. I kinda expected a reaction of some sort, but a big blow out is sometimes just what the doctor ordered. Now, I think you could do with a mild anti depressant which is also an anti anxiety and works to help prevent panic attacks, now before you shout at me that you can't afford it, you won't have to pay. I will do the script and get it filled in later. Okay, I need to do your blood pressure, so can you pull up your sleeve for me I will try to touch as little as possible, but I may have to a little alright?"

I nod and pull my sleeve up, he rummages about in his bag and pulls out an electronic machine, he slides the cuff up my arm and tightens it, he reminds me to breathe nice and slow, Alice's hand tightens on mine. I feel the cuff inflate, tight and tighter, shit it hurts "Ow Jasper! I may need that arm someday you know! "He laughs lightly. The devil contraption beeps at last, I sigh in relief. He is frowning. Great.

"Mm, it's a bit high Bella 130/90. May I check your temperature? This just goes in your ear real quick, then I want to check your eyes and pulse, is that all okay? Remember to stop me at any time it's too much."

I just close my eyes and nod. "Just hurry up, please." I feel him poke something in my ear, after 30seconds or so it beeps, another sigh, "I'm just going to feel your wrist now."

I breathe slowly and deep, he won't hurt me, he won't hurt me. Done.

"Okay Bella open your eyes for me, I'm just going to check pupil reaction and colour okay then all finished for now." He shines his little light in my eyes as I follow his instructions. "All done. Well done Bella. Now, you have a slight temperature at 101f and you would appear to be a little anaemic based on your eyes. I would really like a blood test just to be sure. I can do it now or if you would rather, we can wait until we get to London and one of my nurses can do it for you?" I am shaking. Needles. Fuck.

"The nurses please, but I hate needles, is it really necessary?"

"I'm afraid so, if you are anaemic I can give you medication for that, as well as diet change it will help with your tiredness and I suspect you have dizzy spells too from what Seth told me earlier? We can use a special cream to numb your skin if you would like, it really works, I use it on babies too. Don't worry about it darlin', we'll get you all fixed up. Right, I'm gonna go find Edward and get the bags sorted; Alice here can't wait to play Barbie with ya. Catch you in a few." He gives Alice a searing kiss, a shy smile to me and he's gone.

Hang on. Barbie?

Edward said that too. Alice is whirling about the room grabbing bags of from various shops, Next, John Rocha, Mulberry to name a few, she is muttering to herself and now chucking clothes on the bed, she pulls out a few bottles of something and then grabs some towels, she turns on me. Oh shit.

"Right Bella, these are for you, now I have chosen this shampoo especially for you, now don't take offense, but it's for dry damaged hair, I got you the conditioner too, make sure you wash twice and leave the conditioner in for at least three minutes. When you are all done I'm going to cut your hair a little, don't pull that face at me Bella, this is what I do for a living. Well I design clothes and film sets actually but I'm a trained hairdresser too. I won't take much off just enough to make it healthy; it's so long you can sit on it! Now in the shower, I'm going to lay out some clothes for you to wear, they will beautifully with your skin, gorgeous. Come on, chop chop, times awasting. Oh, I almost forgot, shower gel and razor for...well...you know. Go on, get!"

She shoves all the products at me hangs the towels in the bathroom and pushes me in the room; I feel a little out of breath she's so exuberant. I shut the door and put the shower on, it is beautiful really.

Four glass panels and big enough to span your arms out, a big shower head above and six small ones at various intervals on the walls. I undress quickly and get in. Heaven. I relax into the hot fast flowing water, I feel my stomach cramp up again, "Argh, shit."

I hiss, that really hurt. I grab onto the shower panel for support, again I get another wave of pain, I look down, "Oh no...shit"

I feel really dizzy, the sight of blood always makes me faint, no not here not now, I shove the door open but stumble and fall to the floor, I can just make someone's voice out but it's fading, blackness is taking over my senses, I manage to whimper a pathetic "Help me" before it's all gone. Darkness takes me.

**Sorry for the long wait, RL with kids sucks sometimes, illness after illness, will try and crack on with the next one asap.x**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimers apply, SM story. Thank you for all the reviews. Please remember, this is fiction, it happens in my mind. Heavy going in places and some graphic descriptions, if it offends you please bear with me until the next update**

**Chapter 13.**

**EPOV.**

After sorting out the travel arrangements with Sam I asked Jake to have a look at Bella's car. I was hoping maybe we could shove it in an auction or something to give her a little bit of cash, I have a nasty feeling she will hate us paying for things for her if her outburst yesterday is anything to go by. This could be a problem.

As I arrive at her cottage Garrett is there also, he has managed to push the paps back to the outer fences of the hotel, he is glowering at the engine, Jake is inside the car, he slams the steering wheel in anger "Oh for fucks sake! Piece of shit, fucking godamn thing, work dammit!" He whacks the dash board for good measure then gets out and really slams the door shut, the bonnet crashes down

"MOTHERFUCKER! You dick! My head was under there you prick! Just you fucking wait 'til I get hold of you! You'd better run, fucker! "

It never fails to impress me how many curse words Garrett can fit into one sentence. He is rubbing his shoulders and head, a bruise has formed on the right hand side of his temple. "Hi Garrett, what's the verdict?" I ask him quietly so as to not anger him anymore. He snaps his head in my direction, the look in his eyes, if looks could kill, I'd be dead, many times!

"It's a fucked up piece of crap! Pile of bollocks, wont fucking start, falling apart and shit really, my first car was better than this. It's not fit for scrap parts either, worth fuck all, and that prick over there just tried to kill me with the piece of Renault shit. You, you ruined my vacation. Fucker! What you want this shit for anyway? Ain't you got enough cars?"

I chuckle lightly at him. "No Garrett I don't want it. I know Jake didn't really try to kill you with it, I was watching, accident. Maybe you should get Jasper to have a look at your head that bruise looks nasty. I just wanted to see if we could get any money for the heap for Bella, but it looks as though that isn't possible."

"I can't believe that girl has been driving this fucking death trap around, take a good look Edward, alternator almost gone, brake fluid low, brakes shot to shit, all of them. Tyres worn to fuckery, wire showing through on three of them, exhaust holey as fuck, all in all, it's amazing the fucker went anywhere ever! I wouldn't take my mother in law in it, let alone my kids! It gives me the creeps just thinking about it." He kicks the car in obvious disgust.

"You don't have a mother in law or kids Garrett."

"Well whose fault is that? You think I have nothing better to do than cover your whiny skinny ass 24/7?" I sighed, he was rightly angry with me, he booked that holiday months ago. "I'm sorry; I didn't want this to happen. I should have kept my mouth under better control, but I am paying you double for the extra time you are here. It's only for three weeks then you can go back as Sam will be back by then. How is your mother?" He glares at me, honestly I think I crapped my pants a little, he is a scary man.

"Fuck off Edward. She is so mad at you right now, I haven't been home for three years, and before you start I know I could have switched out with Paul, but we both know he isn't up to the heavier jobs. But I mean it, three weeks and I'm out, I've got two months owed and I'm taking it, how much trouble can you get in to before Feb? While I'm at it, what are you planning with that jailbait upstairs?"

Before I really realise what has happened I grab him by the throat and squeeze, hard. I shove him against the car red is clouding my vision. I actually want to kill him.

"You bastard! Don't you dare speak of Bella like that! She's 24 for god's sake, not 14, she's an amazing girl and what's more I love her! Say shit about her again and I will cut your balls off and feed them to the ducks out here! Do you understand me? Stop fucking laughing!"

He is really chuckling, I squeeze him harder but he laughs more, I let him go in disgust.

"...ducks...oh god Edward, you'll kill me... you need to get out more...I'm sorry okay, I thought you were just fucking around with her I didn't know you loved her."

What did he say?

"Love her? Where did you hear that?" I ask him quietly, a little afraid of the answer. "You said so, well screamed actually, I wouldn't be surprised if the peepers over there heard you. Nice one. Wait 'til your mother finds out!"

"Oh fuck my life. I can't believe I said that out loud. Shut up Garrett! I'm going back inside, don't you dare breathe a word of this or I'll tell Emily on you!" That sobered him up fast; a muttered "dickhead" reaches my ears as I head for the hotel entrance. Mike is at the desk, he almost sprints round to greet me, I have a score to settle with him.

"Mr Masen, please allow me to apologise on behalf of the Dukes' Castle hotel for the unfortunate incident regarding the press, I have no idea what happened, but I can assure you that every effort is being made to ensure your continued privacy. I trust you are enjoying your stay with us so far, perhaps you have had the opportunity to peruse the beautiful..." I wave my hand in front of his face, I can't take any more!

"Please Mike just be quiet. I am only going to say this once so you had better listen very carefully. My entourage and I will be leaving later this morning, no I am speaking now, the hotel will be being sued, papers are being drawn up as we speak for violation of the Non disclosure agreement that you and all your staff signed. Obviously someone thought they could make an easy buck or two by informing the press of my stay here, not to mention how to get access to the grounds. You personally are also being sued for breach of confidentiality, wilful destruction of property and harassment. My lawyers will be in touch. Now get out of my way."

"But Mr Masen I don't understand, what property?"

I walk very close to him, he is a small man and has to look up, I can be intimidating when I wish, and this is one of those times.

"The property of Miss Swan, Mike. You ordered her belongings to be trashed. She is a long time friend of the family and myself, you have made a big mistake, and you will pay for it, personally. Now, I don't want to hear any excuses you pathetic spineless little man, my guard will be posted here at the door to make sure all my belongings make it out, if I so much as see a or hear a whisper of press near me before we leave I will make sure you regret the day you were born. Do I make myself clear? Well speak up?!"

"Um...of course Mr Masen, I will have Jessica arrange your bill for you..."

Really? Prick.

"I will only pay for the nights I stayed, don't you even think of billing for the full week. Excuse me; I have more important things to be dealing with."

I walk away from him, my fists are fixed at my sides, I really want to punch the prick in the mouth, I can hear him stuttering after me. I will send Alice to deal with the bills, I really shouldn't get anywhere near him. As I reach my suite I hesitate, is Jasper still in there? I listen at the door briefly but hear nothing. I knock and walk in. Empty. I head for the sofa and sit; I rest my head back and think about what Garrett said to me. Love? Did I really say that to him? Do I love her? I like her a lot, I care about her, her wellbeing and happiness, I want to make her happy, see her smiling and carefree like Alice, and the children. I feel worried about Leah, I hope that she is okay, poor little soul, Mum is looking forward to meeting her, I had forgotten that she knew sign language, not fluent but enough to get by. I haven't given much thought to the proper arrangements in London, I suppose I should get Emily to book a room for me at the Langham hotel, anywhere really I don't care.

God it felt good to tell that sycophantic son of a bitch off. I hate bullies and that is all he clearly is, not to mention the bitchy maids, Laura, Lillian whatever the hell her name is, I can't wait to get Bella away from here. Get her life sorted out, huh, funny that, I'm supposed to be here sorting out my own crashed and burned life and end up trying to fix someone else's, and not to mention my whole family want in on the act. I find my mind wandering about Bella's mother, what sort of a mother disappears like that? I drift through the conversation about her husband, I let my mind wander thinking about finding him and beating the shit out of him, and all manner of torture I can think of, perhaps I should ask Garrett, I know his Uncle has ties with mafia, mm, maybe James should meet with a little accident then she would never have to worry about him again. She would be free to be with me if she wanted. I need to find out his name, whilst thinking how to go about it I hear moaning form the bathroom. I get up and walk closer, is that Alice and Jasper fucking in my bath? Ugh. Again I hear the noise, it sounds like pain, louder this time, it's Bella. Shit.

"Bella? Are you okay in there? Do you need me to get Alice? Bella?" I knock on the door and a quiet "Help me..." sounds through followed by a bang and a thud.

"Fuck! Bella? God damn it, Bella?" I turn the handle, it isn't locked. Relief crashes through me I shout through the door to her "It's Edward, I'm coming in Bella." I open the door, "Oh Christ" she is hanging out of the shower door, sopping wet and very naked. Wow, beautiful pale skin glistening with water...now is not the time Cullen! I reach over and flip the water off; I look down and feel a little faint, blood, all over the place.

"What the fuck? Oh god, are you hurt Bella? Can you hear me? Shit!"

I can't see where it's come from, I rush over to the towel rail and grab a big bath towel, just as I'm about to place it over her I notice silvery lines all over her back, what the hell is that? I can just make out writing, _slut. _Oh my God. James! I knew she hadn't told me the whole story of what happened that night and that she had scars, but Christ almighty I never imagined this sort of thing. She shivers, shit; I place the big warm towel over her and tuck it in a little. I check her pulse at her neck, its fast, her breathing is also fast, I look her over a little and see blood down her legs. Oh. Damn. Now what?

Bugger it; I pick her up cradling her to my chest, revelling in the electric feel as we touch. I carry her over to the bed and place her on the covers this time, I rush back to the bathroom and grab another towel for her and gently wrap her hair in it. I pull the covers over her a bit and get my phone from my jacket. "Alice? Can you come back up here please, Bella needs you. Now Alice."

I sit on the bed next to her, she is still out of it, no marks on her head have appeared, I wonder why she is unconscious, surely Jasper would have said if he sedated her again, idiot, what was he thinking, anything could have happened to her, before my thoughts can run away much further Alice and Jasper come quickly into the room. Alice gasps and rushes over to me and Bella "What the hell happened Edward?"

"I don't know Alice, I heard her moaning in pain in the bathroom then a bang and found her knocked out on the floor, she didn't hit her head from what I can tell, but um...she seems to need some feminine...um, stuff. You know."

I can feel my face go beet red, how bloody embarrassing, why couldn't I just say tampons? Oh, because it's your sister! Hands on hips Alice glares at me

"No Redward, I don't know! What stuff?"

I sigh and look away from her, Bella looks so pale and pitiful on the bed just motionless, she clearly needs help, man up Cullen it's just tampons! "Ugh fine. She needs sanitary products okay? Happy now?" Jasper smirks and Alice giggles. "Well was that really so hard? How do you know this though? I can't imagine she told you that plus the fact she is comatose currently."

"The shower has um blood all over the place and it was on her legs when I wrapped her up, I couldn't see any obvious injury so I came to that conclusion, does that answer your question? Nothing inappropriate happened Alice, what do you take me for?!"

I was getting angry, how dare she imply that I did something? "What do you mean all over? Show me!" Jasper started rushing off to the shower. "Jasper, wait!" Too late, he is swearing and looking closely at the floor.

Now I may play many characters in movies and Doctors was one of them, but that shit really sqicks me out! "Jasper what the fuck are you doing?!"

"My job Edward! That is not normal, too much by far not to mention the clots, how long ago did you find her?" "Not 15 minutes ago, shit, is she sick?" "I think she really is, I need to examine her, can you go get my bag for me I left it in my room. Hurry up Edward."

I feel sick again, I just nod and stumble back to the room, Alice calls to me but I just wave my hand at her and head out for Jasper's room. My mind won't switch off thinking, miscarriage? No, not with her reaction to men, I don't think so, has to be time of the month, what could go wrong with that? I wish I had paid more attention in biology! I see the bag and grab it, just as I get out of the room "Oh Anthony! There you are. I was hoping to run into you before my shift finished. Mr Newton said you're leaving, I'm sure you wouldn't have left without saying goodbye to me would you? I'm sure I can make it worth your while, mhmm, what do you say? I know where all the empty rooms are, plus I have the keys..."

Holy Crap! I shiver involuntarily, ugh that shits is just nasty, she has managed to press herself right up against me, the door is shut behind me, her hand snakes round to cop a good feel too, oh no please not my cock again...

"Um, Lisa, please take a step back."

A hand making its way down, her mouth coming closer, FUCK! Where is Jake when I need him!

"Back the hell up now! What do you think you are doing? I'm not wax doll to be molested, I am an actual person, you have violated my personal space and felt me up! That shit right there is called assault! Now I suggest you move your face from my sight or I will prosecute you too. Am I making myself clear to you? I have had it with you sluts, everywhere I go, all the bloody time, it's disgusting, not to mention degrading, and don't you even think of speaking to the press, ever! Come on, move!"

Her face is in complete shock, who knew I could be badass? I leave her there gawping after me as I hurry back to my suites. Jasper is talking to Alice when I arrive; I shove the bag at him and just stand there. He looks at me eyebrow cocked.

"What?"

"Really Edward? You can't stay here, go wait in the other room until I'm done, Alice will stay. Maybe you should see if you can get some of those products you mentioned earlier?" He sniggers at me! I know the colour has drained from my face, I can't exactly run to the shops now can I? Mm, Jake? No. Emily? Shit, definite no, she will gut me like a fish, vacation, vacation and vacation. Mum it is then. Can you say awkward? When the hell did my life become so complicated? Last week I was wining and dining in fancy bars, this week? Stressing about tampons? My real life is ridiculous. Admitting defeat I fish out my phone and call Mum.

"Hey sweetie. What's happening? I'm just in the grounds with Seth and the boys, when do you think we will be ready to go?"

"I'm not sure Mum; could you do me a favour though please? I need you to go to the shops for some...stuff."

Excellent effort Cullen. Really stellar line delivery here. Stuff! Moron.

"What stuff Edward? I thought Alice shopped for England yesterday? What's going on?"

"Fine. I need you to get some tampons and stuff for Bella, I can't go really, it would be...um...well not a great idea."

She is laughing at me. Great.

"Mum stop cackling!"

"Edward, you are such a boy sometimes, stuff, I can't wait to see your father, he never made any fuss about getting tampons for me when...

"Mum please, I don't want to think about it! Can you get them?" Yes dear, I suppose you don't know which brand she prefers? Size?"

"Argh! No I don't, please just whatever you can find I'll wait up here for you thanks Mum." "See you shortly dear."

FML!

I never want to have that conversation again! Size? How the hell should I know? I go and put the kettle on, I need coffee. I have a quick look around the room, almost all of my junk is packed up, hopefully we should be able to get going soon. Some house hunting expedition this turned out to be. I ponder a Country Life magazine, some beautiful hoses in Surrey, that's not too far from London, memories of that county are few but green and quiet, I could go with that. Nice place for children, small villages plenty of fresh air...children? Did I really just think that? I can see it though, big old house with beams, masses of land, pool, ponies, kids playing in the garden Bella on a swing chair with books all over, hand resting on her tummy round with my child, dogs buzzing about, yeah I want that.

A slow burn fills me, I need to talk with dad, I don't want to be charging here and there anymore, country after country never settling, I thought for a few brief months I had found it with Tanya, but after the way she treated me and my friends and colleges and then the fiasco with the...baby.

I let the tears fall, my baby, my son.

How could she do that? I offered her everything, I would raise him and take full responsibility, she wouldn't have to do anything, I even offered her money to just carry him, God so much money. I finally thought I had won the battle when she vanished for a week's 'convention'; she had been to a specialised clinic and had an abortion at 19weeks along. Hate isn't a strong enough word for her, she almost destroyed me. It was ruining her perfect figure, she had told very few people about it and had managed to keep it well disguised, apart from the fact she is so tall and regularly starves herself she was barely showing. I won't ever forget the day she came back and casually dropped into conversation, accusing me of being a nag, constantly going on about the baby this and that, well its gone, she couldn't stand feeling like a bloated whale and never wanted children in the first place, it was an accident on her part and now could be forgotten. I threw her bodily out of the house that day, screaming at her, I called her a murderer.

Everything went from bad to worse after that, I just didn't care anymore, I drank, took whatever drugs I could get and shunned all attempts from my family to help me, but now here just maybe I could have it all, the right way. I get up and head downstairs to wait for Mum, walking out into the grounds I spy Seth with Jake and Garrett, they are swinging him high between them, his laughter fills my ears, I chuckle at the odd sight, two massive men and this little boy who's all arms and legs. Whilst watching I see mums car come back up, the press are still hanging around like the vultures they are, she pulls up beside me and hands me the bag, I eye it like it's a coiled snake. "For pity's sake Edward, it won't bite you! Come on I have a lot to do!" I gingerly take the bag and stomp back inside.

Reaching my room I go in and approach the bedroom cautiously, I can hear a lot of sniffling, I sigh and knock gently on the door, Jasper pulls it open and smiles at me, it doesn't reach his eyes, I can see he is worried about something, I glance across to the bed, Bella and Alice are hugging, I clear my throat and they pull apart a little, they have both been crying, Jasper is long suffering I believe, well he'd have to be to put up with all those crazy hormones day in day out as a OB, I approach the bed and hold out the dangerous bag, it is shaking...

"Thank you Edward. I'm going to help Bella get ready then we should be almost all set to go, off you boys go." It would seem we are dismissed. "I'll see you in a little while Bella, I'm glad you look a bit better, you gave me a hell of a fright, not an easy thing to do that." I smile brightly at her, truthfully she looks awful, haggard and drawn, but conscious is a huge improvement on unconscious. She smiles in return and goes pink, it reaches own onto her shoulders, mm I wonder how far it goes...not the time, pervert!

I leave and find Jasper putting his stuff away. "Well? What is the matter with her? Why did she collapse or did she fall?"

"I can't really talk to you about it Edward, patient confidentiality. You know this." I glare at him "Of course I know. I'm not fucking stupid! Sorry. I don't mean to shout at you. Is she okay? Can you tell me that much? Please?"

I regret shouting, it's not his fault, I seem to have such a quick temper these days. He levels me a very searching gaze, an eyebrow comes up and a small smile. "Yeah, she will be, gota get her some tests back home and a proper diet, less processed shit and she should be much better. Good enough for ya? Why so concerned?"

Bugger.

"I care about her, I was upset to find her like that, and I kinda freaked at the blood a little, I thought she was hurt."

He smiles a big assed grin. "Sure you care about her, and more besides. Well I'm going back to my room; send pix when she's done with the Barbie doll. See ya." He strides off quickly before I can catch up to what he said. Fucker knows! Damn it.

I have a quick check about the room and pack away all the chargers for the phones and bits, I munch on a few M&M pretzels that I found in the fridge, after gathering the few things left laying about I settle down on the sofa and decide to brave the gossip pages online.

"_Masen's temper tantrum to cost Volturi millions"_

"_Where's Masen? Washed up or drying out?!"_

"_Masen's new fancy! More brown plain Jane than his blonde bombshells! Who is she?" _

"_Masen in England, sources say the star is in on-going rehab, is this the end of the golden years?"_

Fanfuckingtastic. What original headlines, sodding rags, money grabbing assholes.

I really hate checking these scummy pages, but Emily insists I have to keep up with the latest rumours so I can be prepared. I check on the entertainment online website, the picture they managed to get of Bella is really awful. She looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights, but it's only a profile shot, hopefully not enough for her bastard husband to identify her. I flick the crap off, waiting now for Alice to finish up with Bella; they have been over an hour now, what the hell is taking so long? I close my eyes and begin to drift off, flickers of Bella and I in our big country house appear again, then images of her looking truly amazing in a midnight blue gown on red carpet, her hair falling in big soft curls, eyes smoky, lips just red and that sexy blush, sapphire and diamonds are around her neck, the necklace is made up of delicate flowers, earrings to match and a sapphire ring on her hand, she catches my eye and smiles her breathtaking smile, the one that's only reserved for me, she comes to me, eyes glowing with pure lust, wraps her arms about my neck and presses her soft lips to mine, I moan with pleasure 'Bella'...

"Edward! Wake up!"

I open my eyes carefully Alice is staring at me and Bella is as red as a tomato, oh fuck no! My face flushes, you shithead, idiot. They clearly heard you, fix it, say something...at this point anything will do...speak moron!

"Um, you're all done then? Bella, you look really beautiful, I love the hair too. That mulberry colour looks good on you too, okay so are you all ready to go? Great I'll just .yeah...um just finish up in there."

Pathetic, Cullen. Word vomit all over the poor girl and in front of Pix. I hide in the bathroom, gathering my toiletries up, I can make out giggling in the room, huh, this is going to be quite difficult. I actually really like this girl, it's so odd, I have never felt this before. It makes me understand what Jasper was talking about once when he first met Alice.

I pull myself up tall and march back into the room, they are sitting on the bed.

"All done brother of mine?" "Yes thanks. Bella is there anything you want to get from the cottage?"

"No there is nothing left now, the really important things were the children's stuffed toys but you got those already. I'm ready when you are." She smiles at me, and it is a real genuine smile, perfect.

I grab the last bags and open the door for them. "Let's go then ladies. After you." They giggle again and file out of the door. As we reach the front desk Mike shoots Bella a menacing glare, I put my hand on the small of her back, she flinches a little but holds her head up a bit more and marches past him. We find Seth already waiting with Mum by the Volvo, Bella pulls him up into her arms for a cuddle, they chatter quietly for a few minutes, I hand Jake a couple of the bags and stow the rest in Kylie.

"So listen up people, Jake, Jasper, Alice, Mrs Cullen and Seth will travel up in the Volvo, Emily, Garrett and I will take the Audi and you and Ms Swan the Aston. Now Jake will take off first followed by you then I will bring up the rear. We're heading straight to Barnes, there will be no stopping on the way, all cars are fuelled right up. Any problems we are all linked by radio comms. Any questions? Okay load up." Almost everyone jumps to attention, I grin at Bella, I forget sometimes that Sam is an ex-Sergeant with the Special Forces. He is the one of the best body guards in the business, when Sam shouts, you all snap to!

Bella carefully puts Seth into the Volvo and straps him in, she kisses him and comes back out of the car, she steps up to Jake and fixes him with a stern look, he actually pales a little, "You will be driving carefully won't you Jacob? I'm not entirely happy about him being in a different car. How far is it to Barnes exactly?" Jake nods franticly, "It's about 2hours away give or take. Usually it's 87miles in total, but we have to allow for alternate routes. I will drive very carefully Bella, I promise, I always do. We will have to pull out of here in a little hurry though as the paps will crowd the cars to get pictures. I have a hat for Seth though so please don't worry."

She smiles at him and he blushes a little, she really is cute. I don't think she realises just how devastating those smiles are. She wonders back to me and I open the door for her, "Thank you Edward." "My pleasure Bella." I shut her door and go around to my side, climbing in I buckle up I check over to Bella, she has her belt on, hands gripped like a vice on the seats, I chuckle at her and she glares at me playfully.

"I'm a really good driver too you know, I find gripping to the seats with a 'vice grip of death' and pretending that there are breaks on the passenger side a little insulting, I haven't even turned it on yet!" She laughs, "I know. I'm a little nervous, I don't like cars much and I have a feeling that this goes a little quicker than mine did."

"Um yeah, just a tad though. Can you open up the glove box and pull out the hats and glasses please?" She does so and hands them all to me. I pull on my Tisa hat with the Chicago Blackhawks logo, it was white with tacky gold lettering, but a gift from Emmett, I hand Bella my other hat, navy blue with NYC on it and a pair of ray bans. "Here, put these on, it will help with the paps, pull it low down like this, they will get pictures but they won't be able to see your pretty face."

She giggles, I love that sound, and so does my cock apparently! I wriggle carefully hoping she doesn't notice the movement much. I turn the key and the Aston roar fills my ears.

"I love this car." I sigh fondly and stroke the dash, she is laughing at me. "What? I do, it's my favourite car. Kylie."

"Oh my God, are you serious? You named your car? It's a car; it goes from A to B not a child."

Sacrilege!

I splutter at her "It's not just a car! It's special, I collect Astons' and this one just happens to be one of only 77 made in the world. It's a super car Bella. My other ones have names too you know, but this one is my real favourite. I was so pissed at Alice when she drove it here; she is a lunatic behind the wheel. Jasper has banned her from her Porsche for the moment. Now have you quite finished insulting my baby?" I grin at her and she laughs back at me nodding. "Let's get going then."

We all peel out of the driveway, as we reach the bottom of the drive the paps swarm all over the Volvo, Jake pushes through carefully, I nudge in behind, when one aggressive photographer bangs hard on the window Bella jumps a few inches off her seat, I grab her hand and squeeze it, "It's okay, you're fine, the doors are all locked too, they just get too close sometimes, keep your head down and don't look up, we'll be gone in a minute, I wouldn't mind running a few off them down though, teach them a lesson about moving vehicles, Emily would be seriously pissed at me though don't you think?"

She giggles, I sigh in relief, I hoped that spouting crap for a minute would calm her a little, she goes to pull her hand away but I just hold it, then without thinking really I pull it up to my lips and kiss her hand, I turn her wrist a little and inhale, heavenly.

"Hey Edward? Don't you need two hands for driving?"

She is red in the face again, I look down and realize I have put her hand and mine on my thigh. "Shit. I'm so sorry Bella, I wasn't really thinking, are you alright?" I let her hand go straight away and grab the wheel, we are all in convoy now and it is deadly dull travelling at 55mph, I hate going slow. "Its fine Edward, I admit I was more concerned about the driving aspect of it though. I told you before; your touch makes me feel safe. Can we have the radio on in here? I love listening to music, what are you listening to right now?"

I flick the button on and Claire de Lune fills the car, I sigh, how dull, I'm a classic music geek. I move to change the cd when she stops me. "I love Debussy, is this the whole album or just one track?" I think my mouth fell on the pedals somewhere, she knows this? I am shocked; it is just another thing about her that just fits. "It's a mixture. I'm a closet classic music geek."

She laughs at me, "You're not a geek Edward. You're cultured. There's nothing wrong with the classics, it's not very cool and I'm sure the magazines would fall over themselves to learn this about you. But it's who you are Edward; I love all kinds of music and am a real rock fan."

I burst out laughing at that, I can't see it somehow, Bella decked out in rock chic, um no. "Rock? You? Really? Who do you like? Is it some of the new bands like Anthrax or the darkness?" I really hope not, its noise I can't get my head around a lot of the new music around at the moment, what happened to music you could sing along with? She is smirking at me; did I say that all out loud?

"No Edward. You didn't say anything out loud, but the expression on your face was pretty funny. I'm a big Bonjovi and Bryan Adams fan. Seth too actually, he and Leah would run about the house singing at the top of their voices to Bonjovi's songs." She is looking embarrassed.

"Really, classic rock then, have a look through the glove box you might find something you like." She eagerly pulls it open and thumbs through, a gleeful noise alerts me. I smile to myself knowing what she has found, I push buttons on the radio and it spits out the disc, I hand it to her and wait for her to pass me the one in her hand, she is almost bouncing in place. The gentle strains of 'Living on a Prayer' fill up the car. I turn it up, you can't play this quietly.

Before many minutes we are both singing along loudly and a little out of tune, the expression on her face is mesmerising. She looks happy. For the first time since we met again she truly looks carefree, young and happy. We are now on the motorway and Jake has picked up to a cruising 70mph. I note Bella's hands are on the seat again. I ignore it, she will get used to it soon, I'm sure that piece of shit car she had never made it above 40mph! Silence has elapsed for a while now, it's not awkward, it's giving me a little time to think of what car to get for her, I know she won't drive my Astons about, plus they are not very practical for her and the children. Audi Q7? Too big I think it's like a tank. Volvo? Perhaps, not a very exciting car though, running through models and makes in my head I make a note to ask Jasper which model he got Alice to drive, was it the A4? Her throat clearing makes me jump a little, I look across at her, she is looking down at her hands clasped in her lap.

"I wanted to thank you for what you did for me this morning Edward. Not just finding me but the whole tampon thing. Alice said it was fine but I'm sure it was more than a little difficult for you being who you are and everything, so it was much appreciated. As for the rest, I don't think words will ever be enough to thank you for what you have done for me, us this week. I keep thinking I'm dreaming and haven't faced reality yet, that when I do wake up this will all have been a dream, you will be gone and Leah and Seth will be gone too. I don't know what I would have done for you and your family. I can never repay you." I chuckle at the tampon comment that was pretty traumatic.

"You're more than welcome Bella. I will let you into a little secret though, the last few days have really been the best this year, by far. I was supposed to be moving down here, but I know I won't, not now anyway. I'm going to look for something closer to home. It's time I went home, properly. I have shut myself off from my family for so long, but these last few days I have finally seen what I've been missing whilst so wrapped up in Hollywood, it's so fake Bella, people just aren't real with you, after a while you become fake too so you don't think or feel. I'm going to take the next six months at least and really think about what I want form my life, you have amazing kids, I know I only spoke to Leah once but she is lovely, and Seth, he's just so special. I hope they settle down with you and Mum okay. Have you two talked about schools yet for Seth?"

She is fiddling with a strand form her scarf, its turquoise and sparkly, it goes so beautifully wither pale skin and mulberry top, Alice really knows what she's doing.

"I think your mum said something about the primary school in the village, Leah is coming tomorrow, so we have to find a place for her too, Esme said the local preschool groups are really good, so I guess we will see. I can't quite see how this is going to work out though, who decides what? I have lost parental rights. It's there in black and white, I'm a shitty parent." She wipes a wayward tear away and gazes out of the window.

"You're not a bad parent Bella. You have been in a bad situation and have done the best you can for your children, which makes you the best in my opinion, one who sacrifices their own health and happiness for the sake of their children, well I think that's pretty damn special. You don't have to struggle any more Bella, we are all here for you now, we want to be your family."

"Like it should have been" I mutter.

"What do you mean by my health Edward? What did Jasper tell you?"

She looks angry, her arms folded up tight, they push her ample breasts up a little, so pretty...

"Edward?!"

Oh questions..

"Sorry I was thinking about um never mind. He just said that part of what happened this morning was partially due to your um diet. That's all. He would never betray your trust like that; he's a good doctor and the best of friends." That shit really annoyed me though, I wanted to know what was wrong with her to care for her, maybe asking won't hurt, she might not get angry...

"Bella, can you tell me what happened this morning, why you collapsed? It frightened the crap out of me for sure, I don't want to be nosy I just want to know if it's anything I can help with." She flames red and becomes fascinated with the floor of the car again. The silence becomes deafening.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to pry; you don't have to say anything of course. I'm an asshole. Sorry."

"No it's okay Edward, I'm trying to think of a nice way to tell you, you're not prying, we're friends right?" I nod very quickly.

"I have a problem with um...blood. I can't stand the sight or smell of it, it makes me sick and I faint. Jasper thinks I have endometriosis which has caused me a great deal of pain and very heavy irregular periods. He thinks it's partly to do with what happened when Leah was born, I was in a lot of pain this morning and then' that' caught me unawares too, plus he thinks I'm anaemic too and coupled with a pretty poor diet for years I'm basically bleeding to death as well. Sucks to be me huh? He wants to get me some tests when we get to London to make sure of his diagnosis. Does that put your mind at rest?"

Hell No!

"What is endometriritis? Is it a sort of cancer?" She giggles and let's loose a snort!

"No, its endo-metri-osis. It's not cancer. It's a problem with the lining of the womb and ...you know what? Ask Jasper, or your Mum. It's a girl thing but I'm not really comfortable with talking about it, he thinks that's what it is he's not 100% sure though so tests are the way forward. How much longer until we get there do you think?"

She yawns and I think I'm still blushing over our frank discussion.

There is no fucking way I am having that conversation with Mum or Alice.

Jasper will have to do, he can give it to me in guy speak, no mentioning linings or whatever, I shiver.

Tanya just kept so far away from me when it was that time of the month, I hardly saw her for more than a few hours a week, she said it was so painful she couldn't get out of bed. I think of Bella being like that, then she has two kids and a job on top, how the hell did she manage with all that? I don't recall Mum or Pix like that, Alice could be a real bitch though with pms, dad just used to give them chocolate and wine and beat a retreat fast!

Most definitely talking with Jasper later, I don't think I have any chocolate in the car, whilst I'm thinking a soft 'Edward' permeates my thoughts, 'safe now' love him' follow it.

Is she dreaming of me?

I turn the music up slightly the song Superman Tonight is playing softly, I think over the lyrics, yeah Jon, I think you just said it all.

**I'm so sorry it's been so long between updates. Will try to do better. TTFN**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimers apply, SM story. Thank you for all the reviews. **

**Chapter 14.**

**EPOV**

Just as we are about to pull into the A306 turn off Bella stirs finally, she gazes slowly out of the window and then looks quickly at me. "Where are we?" I indicate left and turn off, "About three minutes from home. Well Mum and dads home and yours too. You had a good sleep?"

She looks surprised by something, she frowns a little her forehead creasing into lines, "My home?" Ah, I see. "Yes, your home and the children. Was that not clear? I thought mum spoke to you about it?"

I turn off again, I haven't been here for three years, it looks the same as always, it's reassuring for me, times and lives change but home remains the same. I sigh in relief as I turn the car fully into the road. The house is sprawling and has a large driveway, tiled front with creamy yellow paint, that's new, it was white before, some tall plants have sprung up in my absence too, they were little before. As I reach the big gates I let the window down and input the code, after a few seconds they whir into life and slowly open. I drive round to the side of the house and park outside the garage doors as I turn the engine off I notice Bella's discomfort.

"What's the matter? You seem uneasy."

"Well it's just so big, I didn't think there were such big houses in London. I don't belong here Edward, not at all."

I huff in frustration; I thought we had gotten past all this. I try to think how to explain to her that she is wanted here, she deserves to have all the nice things that get taken for granted in everyday life and the children deserve and need it too. I know she has been alone a long time and abused, part of me wonders how much emotional abuse she has endured with her ex and mother. I feel my frustration growing and shut my eyes and grab my nose and squeeze hard. It's not her fault. Not at all.

"Bella, it's just a house, bricks and mortar, dad had it extended after his first blockbuster, they didn't want to move as we were at school and happy. You do belong here; with us, you and the children you deserve so much, you've had to struggle for so long now through much more than I know, more than you have been able to share with me. Let us help you now, let us support you and give you a bit of care find some true happiness, that's all I want for you Bella, please try?"

"I don't want your pity Edward."

Oh for Christ's sake. "It's not pity or charity before you say it. It's friendship. If our situations were reversed would you help me?"

"Of course I would, that's a stupid question."

She is angry; I don't understand what happened between going to sleep happy and waking up as some harpy. Maybe she is in pain? Just as I'm about to question my stomach rumbles very loudly, she bursts out laughing, thank god for that. "Have you got a lion in there or something?"

"Perhaps! I didn't realise how hungry I was, concentrating makes me ravenous, I haven't driven myself for over a year you know. Hopeless in LA, photographers everywhere trying to follow you wherever I got into an accident once, it was minor but dad insisted I have a driver from then on. Shall we go and find the others?"

I gather the bits from the cubby hole and shove them in the glove box, just as I'm about to open the door Bella stops me with a hand on my arm.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you before. I don't always think clearly and sometimes speak before I register what comes out of my mouth, I just don't want to be a more of a burden on your mum than I will be already." A few tears trail down her face, I can't fight the urge to wipe them away so carefully so she sees it coming, I lift my hands to her face and cup her cheeks gently and wipe the tears with my thumbs.

"You could never be a burden. Mum would not have offered to have you or the children if she didn't want it, it'll make her so happy to have little ones in the house again. She has been on at Alice and Jasper for ages for babies; she's got baby fever, bad. All her friends are grannies and she wants in too. Just wait there for a second can you?"

She nods curiously.

I dash out of the door and whizz round to her side and open the door for her. Her face is priceless.

"What? I was brought up a gentleman you know."

She blushes and giggles. "I never even saw any man open a door for a woman before, only in movies, are you sure you're from this century?"

"Bella Bella, I was taught to open doors for ladies, pull out chairs; offer my seat that kind of thing, gentlemanly behaviour is basic manners. Ladies first. You have clearly not met any real gentlemen."

I am funning with her but suddenly her face changes, her eyes go down and her whole demeanour becomes submissive, I think back quickly wondering if I offended her and realise what I said

. "Shit Bella. I'm sorry I didn't think. I'm so sorry; please won't you come out of the car and let's go find Seth. I didn't mean to upset you really."

Fucking idiot! Of course she hasn't been with any nice men, her ex is a wife beating rapist and god knows what sort of men her mother was interested in. Before I can disappear too far into my thoughts she climbs out and gently touches my arm again. I love that feeling; I can't remember when I last felt as alive as I do when she is touching me.

"It's alright Edward, I understand what you meant. And you're right. I haven't met any real gentlemen, well not since I was 4 any way. The Duke was a very sweet man. Don't feel bad, I need to get used to interacting with people properly again, you shouldn't have to feel that you need to watch what you say to me all the time, we are friends. I know you didn't say it to hurt me."

"Of course not. I just meant that it would seem manners are really lacking in society these days from what I've seen, especially in the last year or so."

"Well I'll just get my things then." She wanders to the back of the car, I snap to attention and follow her, I pop the boot up and grab the bags.

"The main ones are in the back of Jakes car. I'll take these. Let's go find the others then. This way." We walk round to the kitchen entrance, Bella gasps as we go through. "What's the matter? Is there something wrong?" She walks in and her mouth is open. I don't understand. "Bella? I'm losing my mind over here what's wrong?"

She seems to focus on my face again and shakes her head. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong, I was just surprised by the room. It's so beautiful. It's the sort of kitchen from my fairytales, is that a marble worktop? All the glass too, it's just stunning, I can't believe its London." I chuckle at her; I thought something was wrong with her.

"I see. Um I'm not sure about the work top, I haven't been home in quite a while, you'd have to ask Mum, the glass was her idea though, to make the house seem more open and light. Come on this way."

I offer her my hand without thinking really and she surprises me when she actually takes it and squeezes my fingers too. Huh. We wander through the hall way and into the living room; Seth has his nose flush against the windows gazing out into the garden. Mum is sat on the sofa, I don't recall seeing it before, its bright white and u shaped, I run my hand over it and it's so soft, I hum in approval, as I gaze around the room I see so many pictures on the walls, old ones with Alice and I at school, oh God, that is truly awful!

Some new ones of me at the golden globes last year I look so different compared to the one at the Bafta's just a few months later. I feel ashamed. I can finally see what my family were talking about, I look drawn, pale, and thin and my eyes look lifeless and empty. Fucking Tanya. I shake my head and look away, mum catches my eye and smiles lovingly at me, I go to her and she stands up and wraps her arms around me and holds me so tight. I tuck her under my chin and inhale deeply, soft aromas of chocolate and the scent of her perfume; I breathe in again XS pour Elle the perfume I bought her so long ago when I did my first big movie. I hold her tighter and whisper softly "I love you Mum. I'm so sorry for everything. I can see clearly now, so clearly. What do I do now, how can I fix this? I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

She hugs tighter for a moment and pats and rubs my back then pulls herself away still holding my arm she strokes my hair and my face and smiles softly at me.

"You silly boy. I love you too. I know, you have been lost for a long time and we didn't know how to bring you back, before you say it, I know the therapy helped you but you have to understand you had to find your own way back not home necessarily but back to Edward, my little boy who was all legs and arms and hair, oh that hair. So much like your father, more than you know Edward, he would be so proud of you.

Don't shake your head at me young man, he would, they both would, I know you have all these feelings bottled up inside you, that woman hurt you so much, but you can't allow her to ruin your life forever, life is far too short Edward, you know this, we have firsthand experience of it don't we? I don't have all the answers for you sweetie, but I think that little family over there need you as much as you need them. I have eyes darling, you mean something to her and I just know that she means an awful lot to you too. Stop it; I can see it just as clearly as everyone else can. She's good for you, I think you could both be just what the other needs, even if friends is all you ever are. Forget about filming for the moment and concentrate on the here and now, fame comes and goes darling but at the end of it all it's just a job, don't let it take over your life any more, it can't keep you warm at night or comfort you, ask your dad, he knows. Now I'm going to show Bella and Seth their rooms, have you taken your bags to yours?"

I can't speak for a moment, mums words floating around my head, I mean something to Bella? Could she feel what I feel one day? I have spent so long running from my feelings I don't want to embrace them, I'm not good for her, she would get hurt, but my family? Mum obviously knows just what has been running through my head. I want to stay put for a while get some good roots and then maybe start again, a shake on my shoulder brings me round again.

"Edward?"

"Sorry mum, I was thinking. What did you say? She laughs quietly "I said have you taken your bags up to your room?" "Oh, no. I had Emily organise me a room at the hotel for a few..." Mums face becomes thunderous at the mention of the hotel.

Shit.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! What the hell do you mean stay at a hotel? What's wrong with your bedroom may I ask?"

"Shi..Um, nothing. I just thought that with Bella and the children coming you wouldn't want me and the boys hanging around all over, I um... well I don't want to be in the way."

I spy Jake and Garrett by the door behind mum, their smiles are huge, they just love this, me getting an ear bashing by my mum.

Fuckers.

I can't see Bella or Seth anywhere, I crane my head around mum to see if I can spot them, Jake catches my eye and cocks his head to the left of his shoulder, there they are in the garden hugging.

"EDWARD! Are you listening to me? You will take your things to your room at once, you will not be staying in a hotel, I am disappointed in you thinking that you couldn't be here, for all your 28 years you can be very stupid sometimes. I am all out of patience with you. Now, I'm going to put Bella in the blue room and the children downstairs next to each other. Come on, I need to get some lunch together too. Jacob, Garrett, bring your bags this way."

Mum has eyes in the back of her head I swear. I grin as Jake and Garrett snap to straight away. I gloat at them as they scurry away to fetch their things, I mentally count how many people we will be and how many bedrooms there are, this is a four bedroom house.

"Mum? How is this going to work? There aren't enough rooms."

She comes back from the garden and is muttering, she scowls at me.

"I may be getting older but I can still count Edward. We extended into the attic and split Alice's room last year. I had one room as an office and your father the other but we didn't use them much so they will be bedrooms for the children. I had Mrs Banner put the beds back in. Come on Bella love this way. Boys, don't leave the bags there we will all fall over them. Didn't your mothers teach you to pick up after yourselves?!"

Both Garrett and Jake mumble a "Yes Mrs C, sorry." I smile brightly at them and Garrett gives me the bird.

_Whack!_

Mum slaps the back of his head. Hard.

"Language! There are children and ladies present."

"But I didn't say anything Mrs C!"

"It was implied Garrett, I know exactly what you were thinking, Seth is six and I have no doubt Bella is disgusted with such behaviour, I don't care what you get up to in Hollywood but here you will all behave like gentleman. Am I clear?" They nod quickly.

"Edward I mean you as well."

"Yes Mum. Sorry."

Now that we are thoroughly abashed I pick up the bags I dumped in the hallway, I glance at Bella and Seth and they have the brightest smiles on their faces, no doubt seeing men well over 6ft told off by my 5,4 mother is pretty funny. I gesture her up the stairwell ahead of me. We trudge up to the 1st floor and follow mum along the landing to a bright sunny yellow room.

"Bella, I thought that this room might be suitable for Leah when she comes tomorrow. What do you think?"

"It's beautiful Esme. Are you sure? I don't want to push you out of your offices."

"Nonsense. I hardly use it anyway. Now we'll set it up later for her. Come on Seth, let's find your room."

He beams at her and lunges for her hand. Bella looks on smiling gently. I offer her my hand again, she looks a little sad at Seth going off without her. She grips it without really looking and I tug her along to the next room where wild squeals can be heard. Seth is running all over the sky blue room screeching happily. We all laugh at him, such a happy good kid.

"Come on Bella this way."

Mum takes us up to the next floor and pushes open the door to what was the spare room. It is now a lovely white and midnight blue. The back wall behind the queen size bed is blue and the opposite a stark white, cream plush and thick carpets under our feet, it has an amazing view out to the park across the garden, dark blue curtains are swagged down the side of the windows. It is really lovely. Mum takes Bella into the on suite bathroom, explaining that there is a bath on this floor but this room was only big enough for a shower suite.

I place her bag on the soft white bedding and wait by door. They come out and they are holding arms and giggling, mum takes her out and down landing to the bathroom, she flicks on the light as they walk in and Bella gasps again. This has been completely re modelled since I was last here. Black and white tile line the floor, a big frosted window is now in place and a massive corner bath with Jacuzzi jets is there instead of the claw footed bath of previous years. Two sinks and marble surfaces and toilet completes the room, it is stunning. Whilst I was busy looking they have left without me, I rush out and find them waiting outside my old room.

Mum just smiles and opens the door, I take a big breath and walk in, it hasn't changed much in the last six years, the single bed has been replaced with a king size complete with a soft brown leather headboard, the curtains are new and chocolate coloured, my shelves crammed with music and journals are still all there, I relax a little and place my bags on the bed ready for unpacking.

"This way boys, more stairs I'm afraid."

We follow her up to the loft which now has a staircase, two big skylights are now in place, she leads the way to a big bedroom, it has twin beds and an en suite.

"I'm sorry about the sharing, but if we could see how the rooming arrangements go once the children have settled in properly it might change."

Garrett is quick to answer her "its fine Mrs C we often share rooms when Edward is touring with the films, it's no problem. I hope Jake has sorted his snoring issues out though, or he will find himself sleeping in the shower!"

We all chuckle at this and Seth gives the biggest laugh of all. Jake punches Garrett's arm playfully. "Now then with that all sorted I'll make some sandwiches then simply must get to the shop. Oh Edward, I forgot, I got a garden play set for the children, I had it delivered its by the shed, if you boys could put it together whilst I go to the shops with Bella, is that alright with you dear? I want to make sure you know where they are should you need to go and to get the some things that you want, not just what Alice thinks you should have!"

Me? DIY? Is she kidding?! I'm a complete tool at things like that, piano, guitar and computers fine. Screwdrivers' and saws, forget it! Before I can object she calls Garrett down to speak with him. "I hope you're real handy with a screwdriver Jake, 'cause I know fuck all."

He laughs at me. Prat.

I trudge downstairs and make my way into the kitchen, Seth is hovering by the counter watching mum like a hawk making sandwiches. I find Bella in the lounge speaking with Garrett.

"Now Ms Swan, Mrs C wants me to accompany you both to the shops, I just wanted to let you know I'm aware that you dislike being touched, so I will try not to if possible. However, sometimes Mrs C gets recognised at the local shops and fans gather and so on. Should this happen I will have to place my hand on your back to guide you through, would that be acceptable to you?"

I can't think I'm so shocked at how polite he is, usually he's so off hand and taciturn with everyone, the paps in LA run away from him! Maybe his mum knocked some manners into him last week. Brought back to the now I seen him gently touching Bella on her lower back, she is shaking a little but smiling. She offers her hand out for him to shake and he kisses it, she fires up red again and disappears off to the kitchen. I head into the room and watch him, he glares at me.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just surprised at how your manners have grown since your trip home."

"Fuck off Edward. I know how to treat a lady, and believe me she's a real lady. If you fuck her up they'll never find your body, you get me?"

"Hey! You're supposed to work for me!" He glares.

"So? She's real special, you had better not fuck it up else we'll all be buggered. Understand now?"

I nod very quickly. There is obviously just something about Bella that makes us all want to protect her.

"You know how I feel about her Garrett, I would never hurt her. When are you going?"

"After lunch. You and Jake get the joys of the kiddie house. Good luck with that. You'll need it!"

He laughs and heads off to the other room, looking for Jake presumably. My stomach makes a very loud noise so I amble into the kitchen, there is a big pile of sandwiches on the centre island and Bella is buttering more bread, Seth is whizzing from cupboard to cupboard looking for something, I go to him, "What are you searching for little man?"

He stops dead in his tracks and his head goes down looking at the floor. Poor kid looks like he's expecting to be yelled at or beaten.

"Seth? You're not in trouble; I just wandered if I could help you find what you were looking for?"

He grins a little, and whispers in my ear "Deserts. Mrs Esme said I could get the deserts, but I don't know what they are, I didn't want her to be mad at me for not doing as I was told."

Poor little bugger. I sigh softly and bend pick him up softly speaking to him. "Mum would never be mad at you for asking if you didn't know. Come on, they used to be in this cupboard when I was last here. Ah ha! Mmm, chocolate teacakes, my favourite! Do you like these?"

He shrugs his shoulders; I put the packet on the side and reach in for more, Mr Kipling cakes, kitkats and Jaffa cakes. Seth is peering at them all looking suspicious. "Which ones do you like Seth?"

"I don't know. I never had any before, I seen the red ones at school though, some of the boys in school would have them at lunch, I never did."

I nod sadly; I can't imagine school lunch without a treat in it. I pass him some boxes and we put them on the island.

"Come on lets go find the boys. Race you?!" He squeals and rushes off, I give chase slowly, he pounds up the stairs, I can hear chuckles form all over the house,

"I win I win, win, win, win! Why are you so slow Edward?"

"'Cos he's quite old!" Jake lifts Seth up and plonks him on his shoulders and makes his way down the stairs, Garrett following. "I'm not old; I'm just not as young as I used to be. You're one to talk Jake. Lunch is ready." We wind our way to the kitchen and fill our plates with goodies.

All done mum bustles about the kitchen leaving order in her wake when suddenly she has a coat in her hands and handbag in another, Bella walks in with a familiar coat, she glances at me and looks to the floor.

"Edward, we are just off now, Bella is using your autumn coat, poor girl will freeze in that jacket Alice got. Right you've got Seth and Jake, Sam mentioned he would be along later and Jasper may pop in as well. See you shortly. Bye boys. Be good."

Bella sheepishly puts the coat on, it drowns her. I cross to her and help her roll up the sleeves

"I didn't know it was your coat Edward, I hope its okay to borrow for the afternoon, I um... just don't want you to ..."

"Ssh Bella. You are more than welcome to borrow anything you choose, it's no problem and no need to worry about it. Do you need anything else for your expedition?" She laughs. "I'm serious, shopping with my mother or Alice is an expedition! Can I get your number in case I need to get a hold of you whilst you're out? For Seth. I hope he will be okay with us guys, does he know how to work power tools? I have no idea."

She seemed apprehensive when I asked for her number so I hoped the tool joke would lighten it up a little.

"He will be fine. He hasn't had much male interaction for a long while but he loves to help out and make things. I uh don't have a phone. I'm sure Garrett will have one though should you need me. Um Seth need me, yeah, um I'm just going to go. Thanks for the coat."

She almost runs away and stumbles on the way out the door; she had a glazed sort of expression on her face. I have seen that before on people, women especially.

Huh, I may have to explore that.

* * *

I run upstairs and get changed into my jeans and long sleeved tee as I make my way through the hall I grab a jacket and find the guys in the garden. Seth is running around like a child on a high, Jake is surrounded with bits of wood and Sam is reading the instructions, Emily is sat on a stone bench computer in her lap and phone attached to her ear. This doesn't look good at all, she is scowling and gesturing wildly with her hands, she catches me looking at her and gives me the finger and glares at me then beckons with the same finger.

Why can't the studios just leave me alone for a while? I walk over to her slowly, it feels like a death march, she moves over for me to sit next to her.

"Fine, yes I said so, no there will be no questions about that or he we walk. Good, speak to you then. God damn it Edward! I really want to kill you sometimes, why the fuc... why did you have to walk out with Volturi so publicly the other week?!

Argh! Bloody press just can't leave it alone, first it's all over LA that you had a psychotic breakdown and are rehab, now you've shacked up with some unknown woman and have been having an affair with her since before you split with Tanya and don't even get me started on what that troll has been saying lately! Some vacation, right, next Monday you are going to the BBC studios to do the film bites for Fox they are going to take about two hours, then MTV want their slice too, on Tuesday it's the radio interviews, don't scowl at me Edward you agreed.

They shouldn't take more than four hours and that's it, I managed to get Fox to give the other studios some of their footage so it will just be the two filmed. Have you given much thought to what you are going to do with Volturi? You can't just leave it like that Edward they could sue if you back out now."

Frustrated I push both hands through my hair,

"I really don't give a shit any more Emily. Aro's face when he told me about the part change and the theme change, he knew. They all knew, they sat there and just smirked at me, daring me to say something to challenge the messed up theme that the film should take. He looked me right in the eye and said that their new female lead was amazing, she showed so much depth and really felt what the character was feeling, he gave me Tanya's' papers and they all just stated that she would be the part of Katelyn, I nearly threw up just thinking of it, I'm sure she could relate to the callous murdering bitch she really is, I just had to leave, I threw the papers back, I have no idea what I screamed at them and just ran, all the way to some seedy bar and drank my way through I don't know how much Jack I drank, Sam found me eventually using the GPS on my phone.

I didn't want to feel anymore, do you understand Emily? I just wanted to forget it all, the whole thing the last 2years, what she did to me and my child. Who does that? I just want to let be for a while, I don't think I want Hollywood anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm done. I can't deal with it anymore, I don't want to either. Perhaps in the Spring I may think again maybe stick to the UK for a while you know? Less stress and more support, I miss my family Emily."

And there it is. The reality I have been searching for, without making a really conscious decision that's what I want.

Home.

She sighs and rubs her face then slaps her hands onto her thighs.

"Okay. Get these interviews over with, that will get the studios off your back for the moment, the premiere is in November so that gives 10weeks to get some things sorted and in place, they haven't decided where the first premiere will be yet, since you didn't sign any agreements to be at all of them you can choose which you want to attend, however you must be in Europe for 10 days after the UK premiere to promote over there, I can't get you out of that one at all. These decisions don't have much to do with a certain brunette do they?"

I look her dead in the eye and smirk at her

"Partly. There is definitely something there. I haven't spoken to her yet properly about it but on my part yes. I love her Emily, don't ask me how after a few days, it seems very sudden to me but not in a way, I want to be with her, protect her and the children. She's so very fragile at the moment and I don't want to scare her or upset her, if friends is all we can be I will take it and hope one day for more, she is amazing you know? She has been through so much and clung fiercely to her standards and those kids, that little boy over there tried to kick the crap out of me when I shouted at his mother when we first met, he wasn't a bit afraid of me or Jake but since hearing a little about her previous life I'm astounded Seth had the guts to do that, but Bella just seems to bring out that emotion in people.

Right, that's enough with the heavy lets go see what the hell Jake is doing with that power drill, it looks like a disaster waiting to happen! Jake?! Put that thing away before you hurt yourself! Sam I thought you knew him better than that? Who has the instructions for this thing anyway?"

Seth comes running waving a few bits of paper "Thanks buddy."

He runs off again he has found a football and is kicking it all over, I look at the instructions, French, German, Arabic, Dutch where the hell is the English?! Finally at the back I see it, 'Should take 2 adults 4hours to erect' I snigger over that line. (I'm a guy!) Let's see, 112 bits of wood, slide, 2 swings and a ladder and a whole bunch of tools I never heard of. I amble over to Jake who has piled the wood into sized groups, "It says here it should only take a few hours to put up, if you get off your ass we may get it done before mum and Bella get back. Have you got the tools?" Jake scowls at me and pops up off the floor "Yeah yeah Ed I got 'em, well the ones I know that is, come on Sam it won't take long..."

_STUPID FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS!_

3 hours we've been at this bloody thing and we have main post put up and 1 beam and that is fucking all!

Jasper turned up a while ago, Alice was giving him a hard time so he ran away from her and her hormones, he spent 15 minutes laughing his ass off with Emily after watching us, a well aimed bit of wood to the head sorted him out quickly.

I go to the kitchen in search of food when I hear a little voice behind me "Um, Edward? I gota go to toilet can you help me please?"

What?!

"Oh, um maybe Emily would be better to help shall I go get her?"

He shakes his head at me, I don't know what to do, it feels so wrong...

"I can't remember where the loo is, Esme showed me but I forgot, please help me."

Oh thank god for that.

I chuckle "Sure buddy this way." I take him down the hallway and open the door for him. I wait nearby and he calls me again, he can't reach the sink so I lift him up and tuck him under my arm whilst he works the taps and the soap, he is laughing quite a bit, he says it feels like he is flying, I lift him up and down a bit and his squeals fill the hallway, as I help him dry his hands I hear a gasp behind me, I turn to see Bella with tears pouring down her face and her hand over her mouth, mum is behind her and smiles sadly at me, what did I do?

"I'm sorry... I can't ... sorry." Bella runs flat out up the stairs

"Mum what just happened?"

Seth takes my hand and squeezes it, I squeeze back he walks out and disappears outside.

"Mum please. What did I do to upset her? She didn't think I was hurting him did she? He just needed help to wash his hands that's all I didn't think..."

"Edward clam down and take a breath. You didn't upset her."

"You're kidding right? She just ran off crying her eyes out!"

I stomp off to the kitchen, I can't seem to get it right, all I can do is make her cry it would appear, I can hear mum calling me, I sit at the island and wait for her.

"Edward, if you had just let me finish explaining to you. She isn't upset with you, don't interrupt! We had a good talk whilst out shopping, her life up until now has been of neglect and a good deal of abuse, not just physical but emotional as well. She hasn't had anyone to rely on or help her in any way since she was a child of 10. I know she told you a little of her husband if you can call him that, just wait until I get my hands on him and that bloody mother of hers! I'm so angry I want to hit something! She was a little emotional after our chat anyway and seeing you with Seth was the last straw. It's nothing bad Edward; she just can't see how we can care for her and the children even though we aren't related in any way. It was the gesture of care from you for Seth, if you could have seen what we saw form the doorway, it was very touching darling, it's something I have imagined you being for a long time.

Don't take this the wrong way or get angry with me but, you really would have been the most amazing father Edward.

You still can be.

Think it over carefully, that girl has had enough heartache to last two lifetimes. I think you had better go find her, take her for a walk or a drive around, get to know each other again. If you drive can you drop by the school to get some papers for Seth too please? We need to register him soon as we can. Leah will be here late morning so I'm going to borrow Emily to help me get her room ready. Did you boys finish the climbing frame?"

I huff and scowl at her, she giggles.

"No. It's all in double Dutch, it says it should take a few hours for 2 adults, well it took 4 of us to get the main frame up, Jake is surrounded by multiple bits of frigging wood that all look the same and the instructions demand the use of mole grips whatever the hell they are! You may have to get some handyman in to finish it up; Jasper was having the biggest laugh of his life earlier too. He ran away from Alice too, I think the married shine has worn off. Right, I'll go find Bella and take her out with me for a bit."

She nods and starts to walk off then turns back to me

"Edward dear, do try not to fuck it up wont you? She likes you more than I think she really knows, go easy with her. Bye darling."

I just stand there with my mouth open; I can't believe my mother just swore like that! I resent the fuck it up comment; I do try not to be an asshole most of the time. I trudge up the stairs to my room to grab a jumper, thinking about it I get two just in case Bella needs one; I make my way back down the landing to Bella's room and knock.

The door slowly opens and a tear stained Bella appears, she moves the door back and gestures me inside. I walk over to the chair and sit in it and wait for her to come to me. Finally she wanders over and sits on the bed in front of me, wiping her eyes and giving a big sniff she seems to steady herself, I just wait, I'm pretty sure she will speak when she is ready to tell me what happened downstairs.

"Thanks for looking after Seth whilst we were out, I really appreciate it."

That was a surprise. I was sure the first words out of her mouth would be an apology, she seems to want to apologise for every little thing that happens a trait of abuse I guess.

"Oh. That's fine, he's a great kid, I think he understood some of those instructions better than me and Jake. I'm sorry if I upset you when you came back, I was just helping Seth to wash his hands, he couldn't reach the sink."

She shakes her head at me "No it's fine. You didn't upset me... I was just shocked and continue to be at how much everyone here can be so caring and kind, I'm really not used to it. Usually kindness comes with a price, it kind of feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop if you understand me. Your mum said you would understand how I felt better than most. Do you?"

I sigh and lean forward on my legs "Yes Bella. I understand that feeling very well. I didn't give you the whole story of woe is me when we chatted the other night; you have enough to deal with than to have to listen to all my shit too."

She looks uncomfortable again I want to tell her what she means to me but I don't know if I should, I don't want her to be afraid of me or that I will push her too far.

"Um Bella...I really don't know how to do this...it's very difficult to explain, I um...you are...oh fuck it! I really like you."

Her mouth drops and her face goes cherry red she starts to move away, fuck!

"Bella, don't leave. I just need to tell you this. I feel this connection with you that I never have before with anyone else, I don't understand it at all, but I care a great deal for you, before you get the wrong idea I don't want to frighten you, if friends is all you want to be than I can live with that, but I really hope you would try to be something more. It scares me a little too though this feeling, it just keeps playing around in my head, I see you and the children all over my life, I don't want to be without you Bella.

I told Emily today that I'm done with Hollywood. Finished. I want a real life, not an existence this thing that I have become, I hate it. I'm going to start house hunting near here and settle properly, I really would like you to think about maybe going on a date with me one day soon.

Christ I suck at this.

Bella, will you go on a date with me, dinner maybe? Walk in the parks just having fun being young and carefree like we should be at our age. Please?"

I am actually sweating, I can feel it running down my back, you stupid wanker Cullen, you didn't want to frighten her so what do you do? Ask her on a date.

Fuckwit!

She is still sitting there mouth agape. Perfect.

A whisper..."Why?"

"Why what Bella?"I speak quietly

"Why do you want to date me? I'm not beautiful enough for you, I'm definitely too fat and totally boring. Is this a joke Edward? It's not very bloody funny."

What?!

"No Bella, please, I'm not joking with you. I really do like you, and you just don't see yourself clearly at all.

You are very beautiful. You are stunning, just as you are, even though you try to hide behind big baggy clothes. I won't push you, but I really think this could be something, I feel drawn to you all the time, it's this mad pulling sensation that just won't quit, but now after all this last week I don't want it to. I don't think I can just be without you in my life Bella, it sound crazy I know we have only known each other a few days, but they have meant a lot to me.

Please can we try?

If it doesn't work out we can just be friends, I can do that, but I know I will regret it forever if I don't put my heart on the line and ask you.

I'm going to sound like a real jerk and you most likely won't believe me but... I'm falling in love with you Bella.

I think I'm actually already there..."

* * *

Sorry for the delay, it was going really well then nothing! Couldn't pick up the thread, hopefully the next chapter will be easier. Merry Christmas all.x


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